MRI this Tuesday, scared

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queenofwands
queenofwands Member Posts: 19
edited September 2017 in Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results

Hi everybody,

I was just diagnosed with IDC on Fri, and am scheduled for an MRI and chest X-ray on Tues. I'm terrified that they're going to find cancer everywhere. My tumor is small (1 cm) and my doctor was positive and encouraging, but now I'm sure that every ache, pain, cough and hiccup is a sign that it's already spread. I actually have had a lingering cough that I have chalked up to allergies and post nasal drip (which I do have). But of course now I'm convinced that it means it's in my lungs too. I had to take one of my boyfriend's Xanax to calm down.

Was anyone this scared prior to their scans? How do I cope with this? And what if, God forbid, my fears are founded?

Thank you in advance for any reassurance!

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  • VL22
    VL22 Member Posts: 851
    edited August 2017

    Just breathe. You're not crazy or overreacting. It is truly a terrifying experience to be told you have cancer. While waiting for my bone scan my ribs ached. Before my MRI i was sure there would be cancer in the other breast. The night before my lumpectomy my armpit felt swollen and hot and I was certain my lymph nodes were full of cancer. Just remember that these tests will reveal the truth - it will be what it will be. Once you have the information a plan will be put in place for treatment and you'll be braver than you can imagine. It will be a roller coaster ride for sure, with horrible days and good ones, but you will move forward. This is a great place for understanding and support.




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  • gb2115
    gb2115 Member Posts: 1,894
    edited August 2017

    Hey, welcome to BCO.....yeah, scan-anxiety. Yup, that's pretty much what happens. Think of it this way...the pre-surgical MRI is rather standard (but not all doctors order it---but many do)---they are just covering their bases to make sure they have missed nothing before opening you up. If you have to get cancer removed, you want to make darn sure they are getting all of it so you only have to get put under once! Plus if you have problems in more than one location, it might change your treatment plan.

    I was scared too. I asked my surgeon for Ativan and easily got it. That was helpful. The MRI was pretty easy. The worst part is the IV, but it's not really claustrophobic because they have you face down and you can see out a hole in the table. It was loud and pretty boring, but not bad. The contrast was weird, but not really in a bad way. It's hard to describe. I did have to go back for a second biopsy based on the MRI, but it was out of an abundance of caution--they thought it was probably ok but wanted to make sure---I was ok with that because I didn't want any surprises later.

    If your worst fears are founded, you will do what you need to do, one thing at a time. Let us know what happens, ok?!

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited August 2017

    Normal. Ask your doc for anxiety meds. The good part is that you're getting more information very quickly.

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  • MTwoman
    MTwoman Member Posts: 2,704
    edited August 2017

    QoW, as you've read above. Normal. The uncovering phase can be wrought with anxiety. You've been told "breast cancer" but aren't really able to do anything to get rid of it yet. While you put your team together and collect the rest of the info (scans, perhaps genetic testing etc), try your best to pamper yourself. You've gotten an earth shattering blow. As suggested above, your doc will most likely be happy to provide you with some anti-anxiety meds. If you'd also like to try some self-soothing, try nice long walks or swims, warm bath with calming oils or salts, yoga, breathing or meditation or whatever type of project (art, home improvement, garden etc) you can lose yourself in. Certain types of music has always been soothing for me, as well as petting my animals. Find what works for you. You can do this! ((hugs))

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  • queenofwands
    queenofwands Member Posts: 19
    edited August 2017

    You have all helped me SO MUCH! Just knowing that I'm not alone means more than I can say...thank you all so much for responding. Yeah, I'm still scared, especially since I have a new pain in my back that literally started the day I was diagnosed, within an hour after I read that back pain can be a sign of mets. Crazy! I'm trying to tell myself that it's just the tension and strain I'm holding in my muscles from all this anxiety. Or maybe I pulled something at work. (I'm a waitress. I wouldn't have been able to work a busy 8-hour shift yesterday if I was riddled with cancer, right?) And there I go down the rabbit hole again...

    My appointment is first thing tomorrow morning, and they gave me a scrip for ONE valium, lol. Gee, could they spare it? Tomorrow is actually my boyfriend's birthday, so we're going to go out with my son and try to have a nice day. We don't meet with the oncology radiologist until Wednesday, but then at least I'll know. Then on Thursday, my surgeon and I will make a game plan and I'll hopefully feel better.

    I'll let you all know.

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  • queenofwands
    queenofwands Member Posts: 19
    edited August 2017

    Just an update: the MRI showed just the one small tumor, and no visible lymph node involvement. Left breast clear. My back pain disappeared almost immediately upon getting the results. I have just learned a very important lesson -- how unbelievably powerful the mind-body connection is!

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  • MTwoman
    MTwoman Member Posts: 2,704
    edited August 2017

    that IS good news QoW! Now you can build your team and get going on treatment.

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  • gb2115
    gb2115 Member Posts: 1,894
    edited August 2017

    Yay!!! What is the next step for you?

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  • queenofwands
    queenofwands Member Posts: 19
    edited August 2017

    gb2115, things are moving quickly! Lumpectomy this Tuesday, then radiation to follow. Not sure yet whether I'll be a candidate for the internal SAVI radiation but I'm hoping so, because that would be over with in 5 days. One step at a time, I suppose. Thank you for asking. :)

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  • Dark13
    Dark13 Member Posts: 65
    edited August 2017

    Needle biopsy next 2 weeks doctor out of the country...I am 50yrs old did a mamogram last month turns out I have a mildly dense fibroglandularity with feature of fibroadenosis noted. The lump size is 1.9cm x1.8cm round ill-defined density upper left breat. No evidense of 3 dimentional spiculated mass. An ultra sound biopsy has been scheduled for end of the month. Has any body have this the of initial result....what does it mean.?

    My mom had one of her breasts removed not sure if it was breast cancer or if she found a lump and had it remove as a precautionary measure. I was young at the time and can't remember the details...She did live a long full life.

    I am anxious and like you I feel like it has spread to my vagina cause its itching like hell..I don't have any pain in the lump or fluid discharge from nipples etc I am worried about health care as in my country it is not always the best. I am not even sure how I feel about telling people (friend/family) about my feeling or what I am going through.

    Any hoo thanks for all the comments here glad to know I am not alone. Looking forward to your comments.

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  • Peacetoallcuzweneedit
    Peacetoallcuzweneedit Member Posts: 233
    edited August 2017

    Oh my gosh - YES!!!! Horribly terrified and absolutely everything I felt and still feel is "cancer spreading" according to the peanut gallery in my head. I was petrified before my MRI for the exact same reason, and yes horrible anxiety before my chest x-ray before my surgery, because I was convinced they were going to call me and say "sorry we thought it was this, but actually it is everywhere."

    I had my double MX June 1st and it is all a journey with ups and downs. I am not as anxious as I was before, but I have my days/nights where i "fall down the cancer hole." (what I call it) and God knows it is a different way out of the damn hole each time. Just keep moving forward and breathe...there is an entire community of us that "get" it....and honestly all of our journeys are different but for sure we all identify with the fear that comes with the diagnosis. I am sending peace to Myrtle Beach (love that place went every year as a child) and good vibes/prayers for awesome results and ease during your procedures!!!!

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  • Mojojennijo
    Mojojennijo Member Posts: 173
    edited September 2017

    eek yes. I made a post then felt embarrassed about being nervous.But I too am scared. I have a full body bone scan and a chest abdomen and pelvis Ct today.

    I'm scared because I felt like I fell through the cracks and was ignored before and maybe this all doomed me to more problems. But at first I thought I'm gonna freak if I have breast cancer. Then when diagnosed I thought "I'm gonna absolutely freak if I have To have chemo" well i have breast cancer and I'm having chemo and I'm getting ok with it.

    So I know, even though I feel scared, that I am capable of adapting eventually. Again, though, I think for me I don't feel like I have control. And not knowing things definitely makes one feel out of control

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