Upcoming DMX and a stay at home mom!

Hi Saron1, I hope I can give you some idea of what to expect but, because our situations in life are different, I'll keep it general. My advice to you would be to know that we all recover at different rates and your post op recovery would be quicker than mine as you're a lot younger but just the same it is a big operation. Check with your nurse whether you're likely to go home from hospital with your drains still in as, if you do, it involves carrying drain bottles everywhere with you until the drains are removed. This is more of a nuisance than anything. I'm sure you'll be able to cuddle your children carefully. I couldn't say how long you will need your Mum with you (I'm an Aussie, which explains my "accent" haha) but let her do as much as she wants to because you will need help and you should take all the help you can get, to assist with your recovery. Sorry I can't help more but it's a start. Good luck with your op and your recovery. Let us know how you are, ok?

Wow - that's a lot to plan for! I'm sorry. I'm sure it's hard in many ways.

I would plan to have your mother there for 1-2 weeks. I was very tired and sore for the first few days and needed the most help then, but usually you can't drive for around 2 weeks. Also - if you're on narcotics - it's best to have help with the kids.

You obviously won't be able to lift them which could be a problem with car seats and such. Cuddling and gentle hugs will be okay! I know it's difficult because as moms we do so much. But you'll get back to that.

I'm kind of surprised that they want to start chemo that early. I thought it was normal to wait 4-6 weeks for healing first.

Good luck!

Mine were 1 and 4. I had a pillow as a cushion for the 1 yr old. We played footsie a lot. You can cuddle carefully. The four yr old was a big help.

We did get a "summer" cut before sx and chemo. I told him about my booboo, the scar but I forgot to tell him about the bandages. He was good after the first couple days and told everybody about it

I needed help the first week or so after sx but mainly needed help with dinner and bath. I had wonderful friends that rallied around. One brought dinner every Monday. We taught the baby to climb up in her high chair by herself.

I felt yucky the first couple days after chemo. My sister came in the weekend after infusion to help out.

It's doable. You'll find your own rhythm. You can make some freezer meals ahead of time. You can have picnics on the floor, eat off paper plates and don't worry about nutrition. You'll have plenty of time for that later. The baby ate sweet potatoes and applesauce. The four year old loved microwaveable sausage biscuits.

My kids are older, 10 and 13 so it is easier for me. I did a double Mastectomy with Immediate DIEP Flap Surgery end of May. I called both my sons schools to give them a heads up that things were going to change at home, the schools were amazing. They start back after labor day but I just got a call from them Friday reminding me that they are there to help. I was able to drop off the kids early to school for early doctor appointments before surgery etc. A couple of projects were not completed and were not held against their grades etc. I was in the hospital for 6 days, so I had my niece come and stay with the kids getting them to school back/forth homework etc. Then my cousin flew up from Miami and stayed two weeks to help out. I had a friend start a meal train for me that has been going since May 22nd and ends on September 1. We have food delivered Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. Accept help, people want to help and be specific on what you need. I was and still am overwhelmed at all the help I am receiving. My husband recently retired from the military and started a new job 5 months before I was diagnosed. There were a lot of rules about working from home/time off etc. but his boss has been wonderful unfortunately 5 of his co-workers have been touched by this disease, so they have been giving him a lot of leeway. Call the American Cancer Society, there are free sleep away camps/ group activities weekend events that are available for kids whose parents are going through treatment. Maybe something your 8 year old might be interested in.

Get yourself organized before surgery too, binder for all medical records, calendar for doctor appointments and notebook for questions. Put together a chemo bag with anything you may need, shop now for that stuff. Things like immodium, dulcolax, sensitive skin cream. Biotine mouth wash and mouth rinse to ward off sores. Candy, suckers for infusion days magazines etc. Keep a basket nearby for all other medical supplies when you are laid up in bed. Maybe you can employ a babysitter on the bad days after chemo. Keep a calendar of side effects so you know what to watch out for the next infusion. Watch a lot of movies read a lot of books to the twins. a little TV never killed anyone.

Start making meals and freeze them. Cereal never hurt anyone! You will get through this, it may not be easy, but a year from now it will be better. Sending lots of good vibes and hugs your way. YOU CAN DO THIS!

Saron, you did not say why you needed chemo? Are you Her2 positive, or node positive?

Hi Saron1, best of luck with your upcoming surgery. Hopefully you'll breeze through it. Ask your doctors if you are a good candidate for an Oncotype test. It will determine whether the benefits of chemo outweigh the risks. If you're ER/PR positive, have a small, slow growing tumor and less than 3 positive nodes you may be able to skip chemo.

Oh Saron - One more thing YOU got this. A while from now it will just be just a bump in the road Good Luck and virtual hugs! Going for second infusion tomorrow. Then 2 hard ones under my belt 4 more to go then herceptin infusion for one year since I am HER2 positive.

It really does get easier and don't be afraid to ask for help, people want to help.

Monica