Hi- I was diagnosed a little over a year ago, and I don't obsess about it. I just went back to the surgeon on Monday, and he told me that my mammogram was totally clear, and he examined my breasts, and he was happy to report that everything was good. He said my incision healed nicely. He wants me to have another mammogram in a year, and then come back to see him. He even gave me the written referral for the mammogram. He is super organized like that. I have been spending a lot less time on breastcancer.org too lately. When you are newly diagnosed, you want to find all the information you can. but since I got the good report recently. I don't feel the need to be here as much. I do have some small side effects from the Femera that I am on, but nothing serious enough to quit taking it. I get a small amount of joint pain from it. When I went to my PCP for a physical a month ago, I expected that my cholesterol would be up, because Femera has a tendency to do that, but my cholesterol was actually lower than it was before I started the meds. I have been on lipitor for at least three years though. My blood sugar was also okay. I have been involved in a weight loss class that just ended at the Cancer Wellness Center in Northbrook two weeks ago, and I have lost a total of 15 pounds since starting the class five months ago. Many people on femera complain about weight gain, and so I feel good.

It helps if you don't spend lots of time on Google researching everything in the beginning. I think it is easy to spend quite a bit of time here, and read the horror stories, and worry that this is going to happen to you. I did follow a standard course of treatment, and dealt with chemo and radiation, and I did obsess more about it then. I try to eat healthy and exercise and take my anti estrogen every day, but since I do that I don't worry that it is going to come back, and my hair has grown back. I had to get a hair cut 7 weeks ago..

I thought of recurrence every day for a year. Then, after I hit 18 months, I started to breathe easier. I am now almost three years out...and this is the first time I have been back on this board for over a year. It gets better. Allow yourself this time of grief/fear/concern - it's normal. Gentle hugs!

Akitagirl

I also worried about recurrance for a few years after my chemo and rads treatments were over. And then as time passed, it was less and less of a concern. I agree that not spending time researching is helpful because I think you are only "poking at the sore" when you do that and making yourself more anxious. At least it is and was for me.

I have also discovered that not talking about it or mentioning it to people who don't know is helpful. Only a handful of people know I have had BC, and this for me is intrusive enough. Everytime I see them I get that look of pity or questions about how I am, or the ever annoying "I can't believe how good you look" or "at least you look great" which implies they expect me to look like I am on deaths door. LOL. When this happens, I can be triggered into feeling sorry for myself and then get anxious. It is refreshing to be with friends who do not know anything about my health issues. I then forget I am a survivor for a while when I am with them and this can carry over for quite awhile so I am not worrying about recurrance.

It is a platitude... but we really only do have today and no one knows the future. The gift of cancer for me has been that life is fragile and you need to absorb and get everything and give everything you can out of life today. I am much more laid back because of it.

Best wishes to you.

wallan

I agree with everything already said. I am two years out and I have phases of anxiety. I would say what helps me the most is staying off the internet and even not coming to this site too much. As wonderful as it is, it keeps me focused on BC. It is better for me to read things not related....almost like changing the channel on the TV.

I am so happy to see that others feel the way that I do about sharing their diagnosis. I have only told a handful of people that are close to me. I feel a little guilty every week during church when others want to share everything about their minor illness or issue. I have always been a very private person and so sharing personal medical information is just so foreign to me. I don't know how others with health issues handle the constant questions, well intended as they may be.

Vargadoll, Sending you good vibes. I know this will be a stressful day for you. I am already dreading my first mammogram which will be in November. Looking at your stats, I know you will be just fine.

Thanks ladies! I got the all clear looks good! I was able to do the 3D mammogram to! My insurance started paying for the June 1st. The the tech doing my scans said I was very lucky they found the BC and that it was caught so early. I have "dense" breast tissue (don't we all ???) And the BC was so deep and small that it could have been over looked. Thanks be to God!

We are all in this together!

Fear of Cancer Recurrence in an Era of Personalized Medicine

I, too, am obsessing about it. Constantly fearing the worst. I put on a brace face in front of everyone, but deep down I'm suffering, big time. I hope it gets easier. I can't fathom going through life like this.