Brand new (as of July 2017 diagnosis

Hi Becky,

I was sitting in your shoes a year ago. It's a pretty scary place to be. I have only lurked on the forum, but I agree this forum has a lot of helpful information, particularly when all this is very new to you.

I hope you don't mind me passing on my own suggestions and thoughts to you, for what they are worth.

1. Create your own "Becky Team." These will be your support system that will help get you through the next few months. You don't have to tell them they are on Becky's Team, you just kind of co-opt them. Mine included the fantastic people at the Cancer Center where I get treatment, (I still have 3 Herceptin infusions to go.), the checker at our local grocery store who sent home cards and notes with my husband when he would go do the grocery shopping, (for a while, just the thought of food made me ill), two breast cancer survivors – one of whom was Her2 positive and about 9 months ahead of me in treatment. It included family, some co-workers, my beloved spouse – well anybody that contributed to getting me through the dark days.

2.Understand that some of the people you think would automatically be on your team, won't. I have three siblings whom I love dearly, and whom love me. Sadly, they just couldn't handle my illness. I was hurt at first, but realized not everybody is equipped to deal with the idea of a serious illness. You just have to let people be who they are.

3.Look for the long-term survivor stories on this forum. Nothing is better for giving you hope.

4.Always find something to be grateful for every day. (One of the breast cancer survivors suggested this to me.) Sometimes the pickings were slim on really dark days. I remember sitting in the waiting room for my echocardiogram and deciding my gratitude that day would go to the person who invented peppermint drops. They were the only things that could keep my nausea at bay. I kept peppermint drops within easy reach wherever I was. Some people swear by ginger drops and others by lemon drops, but for me, peppermints were it.

5.I hated my port at first. I'm a slow healer and it took it awhile before I stopped noticing that it was there. Now, I can't imagine a year of treatment without it, particularly since I have a big aversion to needles. I also requested a prescription for numbing cream to use about an hour before my infusions. Seriously, I'm talking a major aversion to needles!

6.Always remember that you are your own best advocate. The last three times I have went into my cancer center for a Herceptin infusion, the nurses have told me eagerly that they can now give it to me over a 30 minutes period instead of the 60 minutes we have been doing since last September. Having read on these forums that some people have had their infusion time increased when they are having side effects, I told the nurses that I wanted mine kept at 60 minutes. I already knew that my body tolerated the 60 minutes very well. Why mess with something that was working for me?

7.Believe in yourself. Believe that you have what it takes to get to the other side of treatment, Becky. Breast cancer isn't for wimps – even if deep down you happen to be a needle averse wimp like me.

I wish you the best, Becky. Hopefully, you and I will be coming back as 5, 10 and 15 years+ survivors and giving hope to those who follow us. (Or even better, they will find a cure for breast cancer and no one will need our messages of hope.)