My 42 year old cousin died of BC Wednesday

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readytorock
readytorock Member Posts: 199
edited July 2017 in Acknowledging and honoring our Community

She was younger than me and I haven't see her since I graduated from high school. She is acually my third cousin (my father's cousin's daughter), so they don't consider us close enough relatives for genetics to be an issue.

But I'm sad. She got breast cancer in her EARLY 30s and it sounds as if it was Stage IV from pretty much the beginning (spread to her hip.) It spread to her brain two years ago. She had two kids and a husband who left her when the cancer came around. Her mother and two brothers don't deserve the sadness they are experiencing now. They lost their father when they were all still in school and now another member of the family is gone way too early.

I'm very disappointed in myself that I never sent her a card or letter. I knew she was stage IV and I was only stage II and have good prognosis. I never knew how I could word a letter when I knew she was going to die and I was going to be ok. What are the right words to say.

Anyway, please keep my cousins family in your thoughts. I don't think that she was a community member here, but the world lost another really good person to breast cancer.

Thank you.

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  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited November 2016

    readytorock - I am very sorry for your loss. I hope sweet memories of her comfort you and the rest of her family. Stupid BC.

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  • molliefish
    molliefish Member Posts: 723
    edited November 2016

    ready, I haven't been to a funeral since my Dad died just over four years ago. Don't be too hard on yourself, it's not easy to have BC. We are all different in how we deal with the emotional hurdles life hands us. I am truly sorry your cousin died of cancer, and I wish you peace in the coming days, weeks, months and years.

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  • Msjackiefan
    Msjackiefan Member Posts: 31
    edited July 2017

    God bless your family, and try not to allow guilt to seep in. So sorry for your loss. As you said the cousin was distant and you were dealing with your own situation. Our energy is critical to fighting our own cancer at the time.You do your best and the fact that you cared says alot. Rest in Peace to your cousin and may God give her immediate family strenght.

    One thing I can suggest that might both make you feel lighter and might mean alot to her immediate family: Let them know you thought about her often as you were both going thru similiar trials. If you have any story you can share about her when you were younger that they may not know, that can bring comfort. Just taking the time when you were actually not that close with a brief note to the family will mean something, I promise you. Go with God. At these times, we drink up any ounce of comfort we can. And getting something a while after the loved one has passed is a thoughtful reminder that others were affected by her loss, too.

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