Just Diagnosed

Hi Muriel!

Let me just say that it sucks that you're 34 at age of diagnosis. I was 46 when diagnosed, and to this day, I still feel like I'm the youngest person in the treatment room at my oncologist's.

There are a number of books out there for young children that help explain breast cancer to them.

See, for example, https://www.amazon.com/My-Mommy-Has-Breast-Cancer/dp/1449021506/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501312558&sr=8-1&keywords=Mommy+has+breast+cancer

or

https://www.amazon.com/This-Much-Know-Heather-Barnard/dp/1511580267/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1501312558&sr=8-2&keywords=Mommy+has+breast+cancer

You can browse such books on Amazon.

I waited until I had my treatment plan before talking to my teenage daughter. I didn't bother trying to explain my cancer to my sons with autism, but they noticed the wig and didn't exactly treat it with respect. (One of my sons tried to hide it around the house.)

By the way, just thinking from day to day is fine at this point. Once you start treatment, you can set some goals for yourself in the short-term. (Just have to get past this infusion and on to the next, etc.).

((Hugs)) It's a shock to hear that you have an aggressive form of breast cancer. (I'm triple positive, though, not triple negative.) The important thing to remember that even women with aggressive BC can have an excellent shot at good treatment outcomes and long lives.

MurielStacey, welcome to Breastcancer.org. We're glad you found us, though we hate that you have to be here. We know it's scary and confusing right now, but just know that we're all here for you!

Besides the wonderful advice and recommendations from Hopfull2 and ElaineTherese, you may find the following article useful: Talking to Your Family and Friends About Breast Cancer.

Best wishes, and please keep us posted on how you're doing.

The Mods

MurielStacey,

Have you met with a medical oncologist yet? Many triple negative breast cancer patients do chemo first and surgery later.....

Yes, it is hard to think that we might not be there for the important events in our children's lives. But, breast cancer is highly treatable in the early stages, and there's no need to jump to Stage IV until you're actually there. ((Hugs))

hi Muriel Stacey, I am 67 years young and just got diagnosed with triple negative BC...I feel the same way but could understand how you worry for your children...I worry for my 2 adult children because they lost their Dad to lung cancer 20 years ago...when they were very young..Please don't worry your cancer care team will get you through this and with the support of your family and friends they will help you..Dont say no to anyones help, you need it right now..Stay strong. misty106

LisaBS

It's not uncommon at all to wait 2 months for surgery. Everyone's plan is a little different as is their cancer. Breast Cancer doesn't grow super fast so you have time to make informed decisions. I know it feels like forever but it will be time to make more decisions before you know it.

Wishing you well,

MurielStacey - Quick hello to say I know how you feel. I had Triple Negative BC too. I was diagnosed at 44. Just as a way to encourage you right now when things are so scary, I am approaching 7 years out. My tumor also was extremely fast growing and I learned from my oncologist that the more aggressive BC, typically means a more complete response to chemo. I did chemo first, followed by surgery. There was no evidence of cancer cells in my breast tissue or lymph nodes that were removed (and I did have nodes light up during the petscan). So I feel good that the chemo did it's job (advantage of doing chemo before surgery). Your oncologist will go over your options with you. You need to do what you feel most comfortable with.

It's a scary diagnosis, I know, but once you begin treatment, you will begin to feel more in control.

I also wanted to tell you to join us on the "Calling all TNs" thread. It's a great combination on newly diagnosed triple negative and us old timers and everyone in between. Very informative and understanding group of women.

And feel free to ask me any questions you have along the way. We're all here for you! Just try to take it one day at a time.

Hugs,

Kathy

You might have well written my very own story. Diagnosed on July 28, 2016 while busy organizing my 2nd grade classroom for the year ahead. Two young teens at home who still need me😊 I, too, found my tumor while on vacation.

What followed happened very quickly: single mastectomy, followed by 6 months of chemo, then 30 rads. Just last month I had the other breast removed prophylactically. The good news is that when you have a plan and begin your treatment, you quickly give up your old life and just jump on the train. I am over simplifying of course. One thing that helped me so much was to focus on chemo as a life saver, rather than viewing it asharsh chemicals. I tried to remember that had I lived in a different time, I wouldn't be typing this a year later. I hope this gives you a wee bit of comfort. Treatments are very effective today.

Dear Gwin,

Thanks for joining our community and for sharing your story. It is so helpful to hear the experiences of others. We hope that you will stay connected here and benefit from the support and information so readily shared by our community. We look forward to seeing you around. The Mods

Batw128426 - That's actually a hard question to answer. Everyone is different. For me, I learned how to accept help from those around me when I needed it. I also learned that loved ones/close friends sometimes need to help so that they feel like they're contributing. I kept working (with the exception of a few days here and there) to try to keep my life as normal possible. I have a desk job and had a very supportive boss, so that made it possible. Other than that, I just listened to what the doctors told me, paid attention to my body and kept putting one foot in front of the other. I had a great team of doctors so it was easy to put my faith in them.

Good luck to you,

Kathy