I am stronger than this...I thought!

I had conscious sedation for my wire localization and I rememver very little of it. I remember them telling me they were sorry to have to hurt me, but they would give me some local anesthetic. I remember feeling a small amount of pain, but honestly almost nothing else. They said I sat up and talked to them, and I do remember them doing a very gently mammogram to make sure they had it in the right place. I don't remember the wheelchair ride back to pre-op, though.

Hey girlontheright---you so not alone. I am almost never on this forum, but happened on today and your post happened to be on the top--and I so, so feel you!

I'm 43 (mom of 5 ages 17-5) and went for my first mammo last summer and got the dreaded call back--diagnostic mammo and US followed, and they found a "thingy" that was inconclusive, "probably" not cancer, but not totally sure. Doctor said to come back in 6 months and we'll take another look.

No big, right? I mean with all the push for early screening, we KNOW this happens. They find stuff. Which leads to a lot of additional testing which mostly always turns out to be nothing, and sometimes early stage cancer, which may or may not ever threaten our health...yadda, yada. Nothing to worry about, right?

SO wrong. I was a freak. It was a HUGE anxiety trigger for me, and I was incapacitated. Couldn't eat, Was a crying basket case. It was embarrassing, as I could hardly function. Perhaps some perimenopausal anxiety? (Ya think?) But the reality is that breast cancer is a huge anxiety trigger for many of us because it hits us close...we jump from zero to worst-case scenario in a nanosecond and the emotions run super high, especially during our 40s/50s when we may not have the best emotional resiliency to begin with.

I know that none of that likely makes it better for you, but I just want to say that what you are feeling is so common. True, some women handle the uncertainty better than others, but today, that's not you. And its OK. Don't be tempted to beat yourself up for being upset. This is time to have grace and compassion on yourself, and to give yourself a freaking break. Its OK to be emotional and scared, even though statistics are way, way on your side that everything is going to be just fine.

All that said, in my case, my doctor (a breast surgeon and specialist) suggested a blood test for me at my 6 month followup, since the thingy was still there, no change, but still visually inconclusive. The test was called Videssa Breast by Provista and you can google it. It is a test for protein markers that are present when breast tumors are present, and it is a good "predictive negative" test....meaning that if its negative, its negative. But if its positive, its still likely negative, but then a biopsy may be in order to rule out cancer.

In my case, the blood test was negative, and it saved me the angst of a biopsy. (Although it did require 3 weeks to receive back results.) So this could be something to mention to your doctor?

Anyway...big, big hugs. Oye...I so know the anxiety and it sucks. Its going to be OK. Sending love.

Shawna

Hi BadGirl,

I am with you! I'm 40, just had my first mammo last month and have been going through the ups and downs of the follow ups since. I too am usually tough, handle everyone else's everything and this has thrown me more than I thought it would. I definitely think the not knowing and the long waits are the worst. Naively, I assumed this would be a straightfoward experience...get a mammo, all good. Or get a mammo, need a f/up, get a biopsy, and a yes or no. For me, it's been a convoluted up and down. But it takes SO LONG! Checking in here helps so much, to know we're not crazy, not alone and not overreacting. The women who have experience are super helpful answering and giving good advice, and I find comfort with the others here in limbo.

Hang in there!!!!

I did see the company's website, but typically I like to see that it is recommended by a non-invested and clinically relevant source (like nccn, mayo, johns Hopkins or published in a peer reviewed journal). I did find one published article, which again states there is great potential. It also finds " Further studies evaluating whether Videssa Breast performs similarly in broader age ranges, high-risk populations, and additional BI-RADS-defined patients will be important in assessing the totality of its clinical utility and expanding the clinical use of this personalized, precise, proteomic clinical assay. Additional model development is currently being conducted to maximize sensitivity, thereby increasing clinical utility as a biopsy rule-out test." Full article here: http://www.clinical-breast-cancer.com/article/S1526-8209(16)30412-8/fulltext

Badgirlontheright,

The wire localisation - you can ask to be sedated to the point where you don't have recollection of anything that is done to you during the procedure. It may not be possible depending on resources of your hospital and who is administering the sedation, but it's worth asking for it. If you are having a general anaesthetic for the following lumpectomy - you may be able to find the name of the anaesthetist - speak to them about your concerns and see if they can arrange ongoing antianxiolysis/premed for the interim 3 hours. It is not going to be a good great day but you can GET through this - and you will be better armed to make decisions about your treatments once you know what this is.

As you can see from my signature - I have had " the lot" - I am 49 with one child.

It's a tough time indeed waiting for a diagnosis.

One of the best bits I picked up on this board came from one of the Stage 4 ladies - who said ' try and not project yourself too much into the future - just try and get through one day - just one day, and thenyou get up and do it all again tomorrow'

🙂