Advice for going back to teaching after a mastectomy!
Hi Everyone,
Next week will July 27, 2017 will be one month since I had my mastectomy. I am 33 years old and a preschool teacher. I plan to go back to work next month in August. I would like to know how other teachers of any grade went back to teaching and helping their students learn. But also remember to take care of themselves at the same time. I am so used to helping other people that I forget to take care of myself, and after having my mastectomy I am realizing that I need to do a better job of taking care of me. I don't know how I will do with my 24 little 2-5 year old children running around the classroom even with the help of my co-teachers. This whole experience of losing my right breast has changed me as a person.
Any tips or advice for returning to the classroom world is appreciated.
Thank You! Hugs,
Sara
Comments
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I am so sorry you had to go through all this. I had a mastectomy in July 2015 and returned to teaching after summer vacation that September. I don't know if I have any advice for you. I did find teaching a good distraction from treatment. I had chem that fall but work kept me from thinking too much about all that I was going through. The children are fun and loving which made me feel better than just sitting home. You definitely should prioritize self care. Maybe cut back on the extras that you do for the kids - just until you are feeling better. Cancer changes us forever. But you can keep the life you once had and do the things you love.
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Thank you Suzanne! for writing I know you are right the children will help keep my mind off things and that will be a good thing. Even though I like not having to get up in the morning to go any where I find myself spending way to much time looking up my phyllodes tumor on the internet and that does not help me feel any better. I need to get back to living life again and not focus totally on my cancer issues. What grade do you teach Suzanne? What things did cut back on when you went back to working with your group of children? I am thinking I won't be as physically active with my students. I think all the jumping up and down and running outside will have to wait another month or two.
Thank you again your advice was very helpful to me.
I hope you have a good day and enjoy the sun.
Hugs,
Sara
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7 years ago I went back to teaching kindergarten during chemo. I was bald but chose to wear a hat rather than a wig. The kids were marvelous about it. My principal gave me the choice to work with another teacher till I felt up to handling a class alone.
I'm going to be returning this fall after a double mastectomy because of a reacurrance . I don't need chemo this time thank goodness. I'll be teaching 1st and feel completely ready for a fantastic year.
What I'd recommend is to ask for help if you need it. Make simple crockpot meals so you can rest as much as possible when home. Also I found all the extra duties I usually happily did I tried to gracefully get out of.
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Kira, you sound amazing for all that you went though. thanks for the help tip of getting out of somethings you would normal do. I will start making my list now? I hope your double mastectomy recovery is going well. I wish you the best of luck with your 1st graders this school year. Glad you don't have to do chemo or rad this time around. I had one other question what do you do to keep your energy up when you are working with the children? I know my little students give me energy but they are also very good at taking it away too.LOL
Hugs,
Sara
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sm677 excellent question. Honestly I don't have the energy I had before all this cancer stuff. The Arimidex makes my joins hurt, the hotflashes keep me up at night, the weight gain all tire me.
I was a preschool teacher for about 20 years before we moved to Florida where I became an elementary teacher. I know just how much energy those little babies require.
I've found I'm exhausted by 8 during the school year. I'm usually in bed by 8:30. Weekends my husband and I try to get away with our trailer. It gives me a mental break.
I'm one to stay late daily so I try to bring little work home. I'm at school by 7 and usually leave at 5.
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Wow! Kira what a long day you have that makes me even more tired then I already am just reading what you have to go through. I admire your dedication to your students and your teaching work ethic even more with all the medication. Is there any way you can leave the classroom early or have a teachers aide help you grade homework assignments?
What made you decide to leave preschool and teach elementary after so many years of working with little ones? I have been thinking about moving on from preschool and working with older children. I've been teaching preschool for about 10 years. What do you like most about your job?
Best,
Sara
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When we moved from Chicago to Florida the pay difference really surprised me. I applied for several jobs and was offered an assistant director job at 13 dollars an hour. At that point I applied for a job in the public school. I'm extremely glad I did. I have excellent insurance and a retirement which were both lacking in the preschool.
I'm extremely glad I made the move for the most part. I work with a very diverse population with many migrants. I adore my kids but detest the testing we're required to give constantly.
Grading papers is getting much easier as our district is using more computer programs. Lesson plans are time consuming
Karen
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You are right, as teachers we have accepted that we put others first. We don't stop to think what it means to take care of ourselves.
Remember this phrase - tell it to yourself whenever you are tempted to take on one more project... parent night.... special activity...or just sit up all night cutting out little turkeys for hand puppets....
"MY PLATE IS FULL"
You need to learn to say "no".
Also ask for and accept help from others.
I started my career in preschool too, didn't begin with a school district till I was 40. The pay increase and benefits are definitely worth making the switch.
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Great question that I wish we didn't have. I am a 2nd grade teacher in Fl. I am going back in 2 weeks after being out since the beginning of Febuary with a double mastectomy and chemo. I finished chemo this past Monday. I start radiation on or about the 7th. I am nervous if I will make it through the day. Do I wear a wig or hat or can I go between the two? I also get to school at 7:00 and stay late. I won't be able to stay late with radiation. My principal emailed me and said she was keeping my tasks to a minimum until I am on my feet. That is comforting and the support means the world to me. I guess I am worried about going back and being able to give 100% to my kids.
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Great question that I wish we didn't have. I am a 2nd grade teacher in Fl. I am going back in 2 weeks after being out since the beginning of Febuary with a double mastectomy and chemo. I finished chemo this past Monday. I start radiation on or about the 7th. I am nervous if I will make it through the day. Do I wear a wig or hat or can I go between the two? I also get to school at 7:00 and stay late. I won't be able to stay late with radiation. My principal emailed me and said she was keeping my tasks to a minimum until I am on my feet. That is comforting and the support means the world to me. I guess I am worried about going back and being able to give 100% to my kids.
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Annbee I wore my hat. I had several that matched the colors I wore. The kids were fantastic. This year I had a reacurrance. I was blessed to have quite a few of my kids come and wish me well when they heard from their parents it was back. Those kids are in middle school now.
Your principal sounds just as understanding as mine. We are blessed.
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I am sorry that is came back. Yes very blessed for a supportive administration and staff. I may go with the hats (turbans). I am excited to go back. Thank you
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I was teaching high school at the time of my bc treatments. The students and staff were incredibly supportive. I know some people feel the need to keep things to themselves, they don't like to discuss their treatments or health issues, but I was very open about what was happening. People like to extend themselves to others in need. Lean on them when you need too, you don't have to go through this alone.
I wore a scarf or hat until I had some peach fuzz, then I ditched the head coverings. The hardest part for me was that I had a student whose mother was going through treatment for another type of cancer with a more precarious prognosis. He would get really sad and give me lots of hugs. Also, my students were all immigrants from lesser developed countries and new to the United States. So many seemed to have a story about a grandma or aunt who had bc and died. I think they were expecting me to die.
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Debiann I also had a child who's mother had lung cancer. Unfortunately 2 years later she died from the cancer. The poor child came to me and her first grade teacher for many hugs till her father moved out of our district. Also a poor district in florida.
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Thank you Karen, Annbee and Debiann for sharing your stories with me they are all so inspiring to me. They touch my heart in a special way that i haven't felt before. I realize that if I can't give all my energy to my students I can give them all my LOVE and lots of HUGS. I think sometime as teachers if we give all of our love to our students it helps them grow and learn in ways that we can't verbally teach from a book or a lesson plan. Hugs and love teaches a person that they can trust others and know that there is someone their for them in times of emotional support..
I have another topic I would like to talk about going back to the classroom. How have you talked to your co-workers about breast cancer and how it changes you as a person. I tried to talk to one of my co-workers about my mastectomy and how I had different feelings about it, and I known that she was trying to be supportive and positive about everything but she said "just think the worst of it is over." I wanted her to validate my feelings. I don't think cancer is ever really over. You have to keep on going back to the lock smith and changing the locks to make sure the cancer cells can't get back in again and that's for the rest of your life. How do you tell someone that you are having a day that sucks! and you don't want to hear how everything is going to be fine. Instead you want to say this day feels like shit and I don't like it one bit.LOL
Thank you ladies for any input you can provide.These conversations are helping me so much with dealing with the emotional aspect of my mastectomy. The best part is knowing that I am not alone. I have all of you for support and it means the world to me.
Hugs and Love to all,
Sara
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Sara,
Lots of good advice from the teachers here on bco. I teach first grade in the San Jose area, so we're practically neighbors. Due to an unforeseen complication, I was on leave for 3 1/2 months. Even though I was/am stage IV, I was so bored at home that I couldn't wait to get back. Yes, pacing yourself and having an understanding principal and school community really helps. Be conscious of any physical limitations and don't hesitate to ask for help. BTW, I was a high school teacher who decided to get a multiple subject credential in my mid-40's, so I could teach elementary school.
It's been six years since since my dx and I love being in the classroom, even at stage IV. I realize that I am the ultimate outlier, but life is good and my job is a big part of my happiness and gives me great purpose.
Wishing you the best,
Caryn
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Sara
I went to the local EQ Conference last year in October. You should go. It gave me tools and vocabulary for self care and ways to teach the same to my students.
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sm627
Well meaning people say a lot of weird things. I had a colleague who would tell me how lucky I was to get new breasts and a tummy tuck. I'm three years out and she'll still remark on how "brave" I was going through treatments. Like I had a choice. But I know that she sincerely cares about my well being, she just doesn't know how to show it.
After going through BC, many, myself included, find the festivities connected with breast cancer awareness month kind of distasteful. I finished chemo just before "Pinktober" rolled around. My colleagues and students planned a whole pink day, just for little bald me. Yay. While I appreciated their efforts, support and donation to the BC charity of my choice, I don't really like the party atmosphere that goes with these events. I was still at a place where I thought for sure I was dying and everyone is congratulating me on being a survivor. I made it through the day, but the following year, when they wanted to do it again to raise money for BC I asked them to pick a different charity. I didn't want to be the yearly poster child for BC. I tried enlightening them a bit on the realities of metastatic BC and how many women still die from this disease - we shouldn't be celebrating as if there is a cure. Its still a devastating diagnosis with harsh treatments and no guarantees. Fundraising is fine, but it should be done in a more respectful way.
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Hi Caryn,
Thank you for the great advice about asking for help and pacing yourself. I will keep that in mind when I go back to school and be with the children and other teachers. It is so nice to know that you are also from the Bay Area too. I have gone down to San Jose the last few years for Anime conventions and have had so much fun there. Caryn you are an inspiration that you can do anything at any age has long as you work hard and have the passion for what you love! Thank You! What do you like most about working with young people/children?
I Love the laughs and hugs I get from my little preschool children and watching them work out social conflicts on their own and how they express their feelings brings me great joy. When I see these little things it lets me know that the children have learned how to solve problems, and I think that is a lesson that can help them though out their life. If you don't mind me asking how did stage IV effect your life were some days better then others?
Thank you again Caryn for helping me and giving me such wonderful advice and support.
Wishing you all the best as well. Maybe we will cross paths the next time I am in SJ.
Hugs,
Sara
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Hi Jumpship,
Thank you for telling me about the EQ Conference what have you learned from it that has helped you the most?
Hugs,
Sara
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Thank you for sharing your story with me. I can understand how you wouldn't want something like cancer to take over your life and have people see you for having cancer instead of the person that you actually are. I can relate to people saying that you are brave several of my friends told me that. I was like i don't have a choices, so I didn't think I was brave at all I thought okay I will lose my breast how the hell do I handle that. I was so sad for so many weeks before my surgery and after when all the happy drugs wore off I was still sad. Now I am doing a little better but each day is different for me. Today was good because the sun was out and I got to go for a walk with a friend of mine.
Did your co-workers understand when you tried to explain to them about how BC effects women and yourself?
Thank you again for sharing your story with me it helps me learn a lot more about this new life I'm living.
Hugs and wishing you the best,
Sara
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Yes, they understood. I was particularly concerned for two news students we had who had just come from Puerto Rico to live with their Grandmother because their mother had passed away from a different type of cancer. I felt our "Pink Day" celebrations would be difficult for them too. Instead, the school raised money for a local shelter for homeless youth. I liked that much better - kids helping local kids.
Unless you have experienced a life changing event like we have, its hard to understand the emotional toll it takes on you. I am now more sensitive to people going through all types of struggles. So I am now "enlightened", but I miss being "blissfully ignorant".
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Talking about PinkDay imagine it going all year long. My school has several breast cancer survivors and our school does it from October through April. It frustrates me so much. But I will say the district does care.
This year when the breast cancer came back I was so blessed with support. I ended up needing to miss quite a bit of school at the end of the year. I ended up with no sick days left. The district staff graciously donated enough hours to cover the entire time.
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Hi Sara,
What don't I love about my first graders! They are simply the funniest, most interesting people I know. Seeing the world through their eyes, listening to their perspective on life and seeing them bloom, academically, socially and emotionally is an amazing experience. Yes, there are challenges and so much work during the school year that I could spend 24 hours a day in my classroom and still not be done (but I sleep very well). I wouldn't trade it for the world!
As to working with stage IV, I have been very fortunate. I have, literally, a single bone met to my femur and the only pain I have is from letrozole. I feel I tire more easily, but not to the point of exhaustion. I come home from work, take my dogs on long walks, enjoy my grandchildren etc. I may never climb Mt. Evrest, though I did climb the Harbour Bridge in Sydney, but that's ok. While I'd rather not have bc, I am very happy with my life. I live well despite stage IV and cherish it all. It could all change in a hot minute, but I won't waste my precious time on worrying about a future I can't control.
Take care,
Caryn
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Thank you Caryn! hearing how much you love your job and your outlook on BC has helped me tremendously deal with my own fears about my bc coming back. I was having a hard time trying to figure out were to put all of these worry feelings I've been having. However, after reading your wonderful words of wisdom I will try not to spend to much time thinking about something that I have no control over and instead enjoy my life to the fullest and be grateful that I wake up every morning for a new adventure in life.
I met with my breast surgeon yesterday and she said that even if my tumor came back she would be able to help me take it out at an earlier stage. But we would cross that bridge if and when we came to it. The good news is that she said I can go back to work starting in the second week in August. She said she would write a note so my boss knows what my limitations are. I am looking forward to seeing my little preschoolers again i know all of their love will help me heal up faster.
Thank you again Caryn for all of your wonderful advice you have helped me learn how to live with bc and not let it take over my whole life.
Hugs,
Sara
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You are very welcome! I truly believe that an uneducated population is a dangerous thing for democracy and a civil society. It's critical that all children receive a well rounded education, even from the earliest years.
On a funny note, my children gave me an iPad as a combination recovery/birthday gift shortly before surgery. My older daughter was pregnant with my first grandchild at the time and,marked with my iPad, I discovered on line bargain shopping for bBy clothes,moths etc. We often joke that I had to go back to work because I was going to go broke with my iPad and credit card!
Let me know if you ever come to San Jose. I actually live close to the downtown area
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Hi Caryn
LOL thanks so much for that I needed a good laugh. I know what you mean about needing to go back to work just so you will stop spending money. Now that I am able to walk more I am making to many trips to the bank to get money. My bank is one block away from where I live so bad and good at the same time. I will definitely let you know when I come down to San Jose. A friend of mine is going to come and visit me in a week or so maybe I will have him drive me down to San Jose just for fun. If he says yes I will let you know. What other fun things do you use your ipad for other then shopping?
Hugs,
Sara
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I'm a special education teacher for 5th and 6th graders. The hardest thing to do at the end of last year was say goodbye (went out 2 months early) before starting chemo. My oncologist said she prefer me not being around kids due to illness. I wanted to try and work part time. Good thing I listened to her advice because I got several infections just from being around my own kids or out in public. Those infections delayed my treatment twice. You all must have an outstanding immune system! Sadly, my surgery is scheduled two days after school starts so will have to say goodbye again for at least 4 weeks😔
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I am so sorry to hear what you are going through and that you had to say goodbye to your children at school. I wish you all the best with your chemo, and hope you will be able to go back to school soon I know your students will love to have you back. I was in special education classes from preschool-high school. I loved all of my special ed teachers they helped me grow to be the person that I am today, and I still keep in touch with my high school special ed teacher today. She has helped me get though having my mastectomy. Shellsathe you are a wonderful person to help so many special children grow and learn all the skills they need to have a successful life.
When you are feeling up to it please let me know how your surgery goes is it planed for this month or next? I will be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts.
Sending you lots of Love and Hugs,
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Thank you for your kind words Sara. My surgery is scheduled for Aug. 30th.
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