My gut says life just changed....

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GreenEyes81
GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
edited September 2017 in Waiting for Test Results

My mind is a whirl wind of thoughts, emotions and trying to figure out what to do. I went in for a routine preventive appointment with my doctor on Monday. I went in thinking my hormones are off, do not feel normal at all. Out of about 20 symptoms of "emotional" normal issues I included my left breast hurts all the time and have brown discharge when expressed. She pushes me to have my first mammogram before I leave town. (Traveling from home that is 8 hours away...I just like my doctor!) 17 hours later I have a mammogram.... I'm sitting there in the pink gown waiting to be taken back and and I just have this gut feeling my life is changing. It's changing and there is nothing I can do but sit here and wait for my name to be called. After a bunch of pictures, the tech tells me she is done...nope more pictures. And again, we are all done...nope, more pictures. At that point, I knew they were seeing something. An hour later I am getting a full ultrasound. I see the spots on the screen, right side. The tech leaves again after "finishing"....I knew it wasn't good when the doctor walked back in a while later.

He looks around for bit doing his own ultra sound, turns around and informs me I need biopsies on both spots. I ask if I can come in a month when I will be back in town for vacation and he flat out told me no. Maybe a couple days, but a month was too long. When is a month too long!?!?!?!? I can't even feel these bumps....no one knew they were there they are so small. He said he was leaning towards being "concerned". I always thought breast cancer was slow moving, you had time to plan out this stuff unless yours was some very rare 1% out of millions kind.

I am then scheduled for 2 spots to be biopsied, less than 24 hours later. I come in and I wait for ever in the waiting room. Come to find out they are trying to decide what to do with me. lol After leaving the day before the doctor found two more lumps on the left side from the 3d mammogram. More ultra sounds....they decide to do biopsies on 3 spots in total. Left breast is done, all good. Doctor moves to the right side and starts using the ultrasound her self....her expression tightens, she stops talking and she is breathing deeply..... I ask, are you finding more? "Don't worry, I will tell you if I find more. Just a min." Now I am trying not to panic, boob open to the world, first time in an hour everyone stops talking about life. She then says, "There is a lot going on here, you should get an MRI in two months even if everything comes back benign." Then I just cry...remember, still got the hormone issues. Cry all the time...even before this all started. lol But seriously, if its all benign, why do I need an MRI?????

An hour biopsy appointment turned into 3 1/2 hours. I have a phone appointment for the results on Monday.

It all happened so fast. I normally go in prepared. Educated. A list of questions. Know what I am walking into....now I can't really get any good information because I have no idea what they are looking at. No BIRAD info, don't know where this spots are at specifically...though from some spreadsheet I found online I think I am a 4 or 5 on this BIRAD thing I found today.

I guess I could handle the not knowing for a few days.....but not being able to really research what they are even looking at is driving me nuts. I was ok finding that only 30% come back positive, thats not bad a percent...until I found the BIRAD and compared the tests....now its seems I have a 95% chance of being positive. I keep telling myself they are small....its early...its treatable. But why the rush if its small and treatable and not a big deal. Catching it early equals not a big deal, you won't die. But now...Monday is so far away. If for not the weekend I would have been scheduled for the results on Friday.

The few I have told, all say "we will pray for you". Thats great, pray all you want. But I want information. I want facts, I want an action plan. You can pray all you want, but that is not going to change the fact something is not right. My gut tells me I am in for a long road.

Anyones gut been wrong?

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Comments

  • gb2115
    gb2115 Member Posts: 1,894
    edited July 2017

    Sorry you are going through this. Waiting for results is really really hard and you do feel like life will never be the same. If it turns out to be cancer, you will start to get answers and a plan. Even when something is small and treatable they are going to push it through the process out of an abundance of caution. There is typically a delay between diagnosis and treatment because of having to see doctors, sometimes additional imaging like an MRI, sometimes genetic testing, making treatment decisions (which you can't do until you have all the info)...so yeah, waiting a month for biopsy would be too long. It doesn't mean they think you have some rare and fast cancer. The process just needed to be started. Try to find something to do this weekend as a distraction if you can manage it. Please also keep us updated.

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  • Brightness456
    Brightness456 Member Posts: 340
    edited July 2017

    Hi. I'm so sorry you're here and feeling afraid. It's understandable to be so worried. I'm going to give you some advice that may or may not be right for you, so keep that in mind. In my situation, I kept a positive attitude and remained optimistic throughout the diagnosing process. Even when I was told it was cancerous, I was told it was stage one, very small, so until my MRI results were in, I remained positive, thinking it was probably just a matter of them going in and cutting out the little pea sized mass. I kept busy with life and didn't dwell on it.

    Then I met with the doctor about my results. She told me I would need surgery, either a lumpectomy or mastectomy, chemo and radiation. I was floored, I mean I truly fell apart. So my advice, although it probably goes against most, is to remain optimistic, but also allow yourself to consider a worse case scenario and start to prepare abit for that, just in case.

    I truly hope this works out well for you.


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  • NotVeryBrave
    NotVeryBrave Member Posts: 1,287
    edited July 2017

    The waiting can just about drive you crazy. One of the techs during the biopsy went next door and got an RX for Xanax from my BS for me. I was a mess getting the biopsy done and I guess she knew I wouldn't be much better waiting on the results.

    My biopsy was on a Friday and I got the results on Monday. I was very busy over that weekend and yet it still kept popping into my head. I think it's human nature to go with the "gut" feeling.

    I understand your fears. I thinkthey are certainly justified with the number of biopsy sites and the response of those that were there. But you never know until you know. A lot is done out of an abundance of caution - they want to be sure.

    Let us know what happens. And remember to breathe!


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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2017

    GreenEyes8, sorry you're here and worried, but glad you've found such wonderful Community to talk and vent while you wait... Welcome to Breastcancer.org!

    Please let us know how it goes on Monday, we're thinking of you.

    The Mods

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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited July 2017

    Thanks, I kept telling myself I could not be the only person to lay there cry for a moment. :)

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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited July 2017

    Thanks all, I woke up much better today. I was finally able to sleep on my side. lol All will be well regardless, it was nice to finally vent and not have anyone bug me directly. My mother in law is already texting everyday to make sure I am "ok". Yes, I am fine! lol

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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited July 2017

    Good news, results came in early. Didn't have to wait for the weekend to pass. Of the three spots biopsied, one is cancer. I new in my gut, I was not surprise. I am surprised how well I slept last night, how ready I am to get the process going. Lets get this done!

    Now I am off to try to educate myself and have a list of questions ready to go Monday when they call to schedule a larger biopsy to decide on how much it has or has not spread. Any feed back, help, links would be very much appreciated. This is what the report says:

    Right breast mass, 8:30 O'Clock 10 CM, Ultrasound-guided core needle biopsy:

    Invasive Ductal Carcinoma

    Moderately-Differentiated (Grade 2 of 3)

    No Lymphovascular Invasion Identified

    Ki-67 Proliferation Index Estimated at 50%

    Postive for Expression of Estrogen Receptor (1-3+, 100%)

    Postive for Expression of Progesterone Receptor (1-3+, >95%)

    Pending HER-2 FISH

    High-Grade Ductal Carcinoma in SITU (DCIS), Cribriform type with central comedonecrosis and associated micro-calcifications


    I'm trying to Google most of this just to know what each word means specifically. I'm not quite sure what to even put in the diagnoses "spot" on here. lol


    TIA

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  • MelissaDallas
    MelissaDallas Member Posts: 7,268
    edited July 2017

    Greeneyes, the IDC threads can help you.

    Sorry about your diagnosis

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  • windingshores
    windingshores Member Posts: 704
    edited July 2017

    100% estrogen/ 95% PR  responsive is good; no LVI is good.

    Is it 10cm?

    Ki 67 is high but very unreliable. If HER2- you will have an Oncotype Dx test done, no doubt. The estrogen and progesterone scores will lower your score. The Oncotype includes Ki67 but has other proliferative factors included in the score for proliferation factors, so you may have a low Oncotype who knows. That would mean no chemo, most likely. And treatment with tamoxifen or an aromatase inhibitor for the hormone responsiveness.

    Reason for optimism.

    I bought a bunch of books initially but restrained my research. I recommend the Mayo Clinic one , both thorough and manageable.




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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited July 2017

    Thank you both. Winding shores....I think the 10cm was in reference to location. I asked about that durning the ultrasound. In another report I found that the lump is 4 mm is size.

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  • liddybug
    liddybug Member Posts: 12
    edited July 2017

    I had my mammo at the end of june and my ultrasound july. they scored me a birads four and with all the trying to find a dr that takes my insurance and getting me in this month my mind is driving my crazy also. I finally go in tue for two biopsies possibly 3. I have looked over my ultrasound and mammograms and read everything and I don't know. Like you, my gut is telling me that I have cancer. I have had annual mammograms for 13 yrs since I have had my hysterectomy. I am 47 yrs old They showed up this year. For me there is no reason it should be fibromedonoma, so what is it. I'm fine if it is cancer cause I will be fine. I have days where I believe it is then days where I don't, but my gut is saying yes. The day they told me I had to have a biopsy I knew. Good luck and hope everything turns out b9

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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited July 2017

    To you to Liddybug. Currently trying to just figure out if my insurance will even cover all of this. I am more scared of the bills than I am of the cancer. :(

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  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited July 2017

    Greeneyes, is it DCIS, not IDC? DCIS is very good: not invasive. But the diagnosis can change after surgery if they find more cancer.

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  • LisaAlissa
    LisaAlissa Member Posts: 1,092
    edited July 2017

    Racy, it looks to me as if the report (in bold type in GreenEye's post) shows both IDC and DCIS. It is not uncommon to have both.

    The DCIS needs to be removed, but the IDC will dictate treatment, as the IDC treatment will be (more than) sufficient for the DCIS. So generally no reason to focus on the DCIS at all; the DCIS threads will potentially mislead, as the treatment decision trees for DCIS won't apply.

    HTH,

    LisaAlissa

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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited July 2017

    Thank you LisaAlissa, that make a bit of sense....or at least the part to just focus on the IDC part. lol

    The report has both listed.

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  • GreenEyes81
    GreenEyes81 Member Posts: 389
    edited September 2017

    Sitting here waiting to meet my onco/team in a few hours. Was reviewing my first post on here....thank you so much for all the kind, straighforward feedback. Plus your responses make a lot more sense now. lol

    I want to thank all of those those that take the time to post and help each other. I am staying a 100% positive and will win this battle. But I have little to no support on the days that suck. I know I can come here and all is well. No judgment, just people that actually have a clue what a bad day is.


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  • MTwoman
    MTwoman Member Posts: 2,704
    edited September 2017

    Good luck meeting with your team GreenEyes! I am hoping that your plan is coming together and you are feeling more and more empowered as you move forward.

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  • beach2beach
    beach2beach Member Posts: 996
    edited September 2017


    We're with you. :)

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