Set-back when friend diagnosed with cancer

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Catsme
Catsme Member Posts: 74
edited July 2017 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

There's been a lot of cancer in my family and circle of friends over the last few years; sister and father passed away within one day of each other in 2014, father metastatic colon cancer and sister leukemia.  My boyfriend finished cyber knife treatment for prostate cancer in 2016, I was diagnosed with bc in 2016, my stpe-son diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma in 2017, a dear friend with multiple myeloma 2017 , and now another friend with stage 4 salivary cancer.

I was doing well managing recurrence anxiety, until receiving the news about the friend with salivary cancer.  I feel like I'm right back in December 2016 when being diagnosed and establishing all of the "what next" planning.  I have been obsessively checking my chest (had double mastectomy in January) for any lumps, bumps, etc) all recent check-ups in May with bs and onc were clean.  I was doing well with just a monthly feel in the shower, but now I'm constantly feeling my chest and laying in different positions looking for anything.  My left side has always been larger than right, but I'm even concerned about that now.

 Has anyone had this reaction to a friend's cancer diagnosis?  What coping tools have you tried?  Recommendations?

Thanks!


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  • wrenn
    wrenn Member Posts: 2,707
    edited July 2017

    I'm so sorry for all of your losses. I think it is perfectly normal to have your reaction. Many of us who don't have all those losses are still worried about recurrence many years later. It is scary. I hope you have some good support or can see someone professionally to talk to or just keep coming here to vent and see that you are not alone with your fears. Take care.

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  • Emily2008
    Emily2008 Member Posts: 605
    edited July 2017

    I think it's like PTSD, and various things can trigger the anxiety. With all the illnesses around you, it's no wonder that you're getting anxious all over again.

    I'm willing to bet that over time your anxiety will lessen. That's what I'm hoping for myself! If not, then it's not a bad idea to see a therapist for help in coping with the trauma. I can mostly keep it at bay by praying, committing it all to God (once again!), talking with a friend, and staying busy. But some days it's harder than others.

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  • Catsme
    Catsme Member Posts: 74
    edited July 2017

    Thanks for the responses.  I am seeing a therapist, and have been more open about my fears.  That's a big step for me, because I thought this type of concern was "not normal".  I am learning through wonderful people like you that is does happen to others.  I hate cancer!  And want to just move on, but realizing that doesn't just happen over night.  Today has been a bad day, and I just realized how much time I'm also spending searching the internet for recurrence info.  There's a lot of scary stories out there.

    Your words have helped me.  I'm taking deep breathes and meeting friends for dinner and a glass of wine.  

    Thanks so much for the words of support!

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