Living with Stage 4 - phases

Strong65
Strong65 Member Posts: 78
edited November 2017 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

I just wanted to share, to give others hope....

When I was first told I was Stage IV.... I thought "Well, I guess this is it, it's the beginning of the end. When I was growing up you heard that someone had cancer and most likely they wouldn't be around very long. I thought for sure I wouldn't be around to see many of the firsts for my sons."

When I went thru Chemo, Taxotere, I "gave up", especially when I had too much toxicity after just 3 infusions and they had to stop, I thought it was hopeless, but I kept on fighting, mainly for my sons. I lost 30 pounds, I'm heavy to start with, but was then faced with the thought that I shouldn't spend money on myself for better fitting clothes, seeing as I wasn't going to be around much longer anyway. I sold my show Rabbits and show dogs as it was too hard to take care of them at the time, and why struggle with it, because I probably wouldn't be around much longer. I quit my job as a Mechanical drafter and met with an attorney and a financial planner to get my affairs in order.

A year passes, doing, Herceptin, Perjeta, Taxotere, Femara, still hanging in there with the loose clothes, still didn't see the use in buying new. But starting to feel a little better.

2 years from diagnosis had reached NEAD, I bought 5 acres "up north", people in Minnesota go North for vacations instead of South, I put a 12' x 24' building on it to be used as a cabin, no longer waiting for the end... maybe I'll be around for awhile. I also imported my dream dogs, 2 sister Bernese Mountain dogs, Daisy and Molly. I saw my oldest son go to Prom this spring. I've seen both my sons get thier driver licenses. I also picked up a part time job..

I "gave up" today and ordered 5 t-shirts for myself... looks like I might just be around for awhile, going pants and bra shopping next week :)

THERE REALLY CAN BE LIFE TO BE LIVED WITH STAGE IV




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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited July 2017

    Luv2fish, funny I did the same thing about clothes but a few months after my diagnosis and down 25lbs, I decided just to buy what I need. I'll keep my job until next summer, then I'll medically retire and DH and I will retire to our mountain cabin :)

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  • Heidihill
    Heidihill Member Posts: 5,476
    edited July 2017

    Awesome that you are making the most out of life, with or without Stage IV.

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  • Partyoffive
    Partyoffive Member Posts: 188
    edited July 2017

    luv2fish:I did the same thing-seriously wouldn't buy clothes didn't to even buy in bulk(what for I wouldn't be here) but slowly as time went on my thinking and attitude changed. Much to my husbands dismay I am now buying clothes(lots of them) we just got an English bulldog puppy this weekend and bought the car I've always wanted. I am 4 years out and have been stable for the most part and while I know things can change in an instant I'm going to make use and enjoy every second. When I was first diagnosed I never thought that I would have the chance to be a grandmother(I was only 43 but did have a 23 year old single daughter) she has gotten married and I have a beautiful 2 year old granddaughter. Life's surprises can be wonderful too! Good luck and have fun shopping

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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited July 2017

    Partyoffive, that bulldog is going to bring you joy and frustration like you've never imagined. DH and I raised 6, 1 French, 1 English and 4 fringlish (accidental breeding), we have 1 left, he's 13. They snore, fart, burp and don't listen but the way the bunny hop, sit, lay are so funny, they're just the best things ever!

    Anyway, after the initial stock of stage IV de novo at 41 and feeling as if I would die in a few months, I realized that I could easily have many years and I didn't want to spent those bitter and waiting, so I am completing my treatments and trying to live as close to my previous normal as possible.

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  • Nel138281
    Nel138281 Member Posts: 2,124
    edited July 2017

    It is all a process, anger, grief acceptance and then back around again.  It has been 4 years, pretty easy treatment and a good response. Just had a progression and switched up treatment Hopefully another long run.  LIving my life ,while planning for what will at some point a difficult future.  But not today - retiring, moving to Cape Cod, both of my kids have gradutated high school, DS living on his own, DD figuring out her life (oh the drama for a 19 year old girl) But I am here for all of it and this is good

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited July 2017

    luv2fish, you are right. Living with this disease is experienced in many different phases. I stopped doing all yard work when I was diagnosed. It was my hobby for many years, I had flower beds galore, a very green thumb. But, after dx, for several years it was all an overgrown mess with many weeds. I didn't touch it. Dh would wack away at the stuff with the weedeater. About three years into this disease, I suddenly had a renewed interest in it and in no time, the yard was back in shape and has stayed that way.

    I had also stopped buying a single thing for my house, no home decor, crafts or decorations, furniture, ect. for several years (except for a big screen tv I rewarded myself with after chemo, rads and surgery.).

    Instead, my energy, focus and money went to traveling to places I wanted to see. And now, 6+ years later, I have to come up with a new travel list because I've been to all those other places I wanted to see!

    These days, I'm more content at home, have spent time decluttering but will buy home stuff from time to time. Dh and I still get in a vacation here or there to some place new and try to do day trips to fun spots as well.

    It is great to hear about the acreage you purchased and to be building a cabin, sounds super cool and good for you for moving forward like that!

    Btw, for those who havent seen the thread, there is one called "Life Does Not End With A Stage IV Diagnosis,..Really!" begun several years ago that is still active, you might want to check it out.


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  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 4,924
    edited July 2017

    But that "Life does not end" thread at one point veered into some sad/scary/negative stuff that would have been better on a different thread -- valid stuff but not appropriate for that particular thread -- so I stopped going there for encouragement. I'm hoping that this thread will now be a great one to suggest when people need hope, as hope is the reason luv2fish started it.

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  • Freya244117
    Freya244117 Member Posts: 603
    edited July 2017

    "They snore, fart, burp and don't listen" - Hmmm......it seems I am an english bulldog ;)


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  • bigbhome
    bigbhome Member Posts: 840
    edited July 2017

    freya - so funny! Made me laugh!

    Luv2fish - I think we all go through that. So glad about your acreage and cabin! That sounds awesome.

    I was exactly the same as far as clothes. Also wasn't planning a future more than 3 months at a time.

    We have5acres and horses, after starting Ibrance I thought my life was over. So exhausted and weak, I told dh to sell horses and let's buy a smaller acreage, easier to care for. Before we left for a 10 week trip out west I had mo lower Ibrance dose. Sold 2 out of 3 horses while we were gone. Fortunately did not list house. Came home feeling better and better than before and I have started riding and camping again! Actually purchased back a horse I had regretted ever selling. His name is BigB and he had just come back to me when I joined this group, hence the user name. We put a pool in this year and are planning a trip to Big South Fork in the fall to camp and ride. Something we have wanted to do for years! We had no grandchildren when this started and we now have 2, 4yrs and 18mos. Our biggest source of joy!

    Life is good! Let's keep enjoying!

    Hugs and prayers everyone

    C


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  • Zillsnot4me
    Zillsnot4me Member Posts: 2,687
    edited July 2017

    Freya too funny. That's me too! Made me laugh so hard I farted. Thanks.

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited July 2017

    To any who wish to check out the thread I mentioned:

    Topic: Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)


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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited July 2017

    Lol ladies! And here are most of the little gas bags :)

    image

    Also, I obviously got over the not buying clothes habit, now I am well prepared for the summer.

    image

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  • Kandy
    Kandy Member Posts: 1,461
    edited July 2017

    Lilliemae, love the pics of your gas bags. The one with them looking out the window is priceless. Thanks for sharing, made me smile.

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  • Partyoffive
    Partyoffive Member Posts: 188
    edited July 2017

    bigbhome-we have 4 ponies/horses right now and they have been a huge part of my staying sane through this journey. I'm glad that you were able to get your horse back they are incredible animals and my kids find great comfort in being with them and riding. We have a local no profit that donates horse back riding lessons for anyone with cancer or anyone who has a loved one with cancer and I think it's a great experience for those who came participate. As for my new little burp,snore and far too machine she has added much needed laughs!

    image

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  • bigbhome
    bigbhome Member Posts: 840
    edited July 2017

    partyoffive - So cute! These dog pictures always make me smile! I love my animals! They definitely keep me sane! There is nothing more soothing than brushing out a horses tail.

    Hugs and prayers,

    C

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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited July 2017

    Party, I just love the beautiful tiny little bully baby!

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  • pajim
    pajim Member Posts: 2,785
    edited July 2017

    luv2fish -- You go girl!!!

    (and that goes for the rest of us too)

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  • Strong65
    Strong65 Member Posts: 78
    edited July 2017

    just wanted to share, we spent a few days at the July celebration in my parents town and brought one of the puppies with. Here are pics if her, one with my son and the other with 2 of my Grandnieces....

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  • AmyQ
    AmyQ Member Posts: 2,182
    edited July 2017

    Hi Ladies,

    I'm in remission after 4 1/2 years with Stage IV and trying to relive my youth - back horseback riding, training dogs in obedience and trout fishing again. All the things I did in my teens and 20's before kids came along. I'm also trying new ventures as well so essentially I'm flipping the bird to cancer - not yet. nope.

    Amy

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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited July 2017

    Congrats Amy! Have that well deserved fun :)

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  • AnimalCrackers
    AnimalCrackers Member Posts: 701
    edited July 2017

    Hi AmyQ - wonderful to hear from you and that you are doing well!  ENJOY!

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  • illimae
    illimae Member Posts: 5,710
    edited November 2017

    Today is 1 year since diagnosis and surprisingly I feel no worse for wear even with chemo, surgery, radiation, the discovery of brain mets and gamma knife rads. I'm still working and enjoying life with DH, Biggie (dog) and friends. I recently bought a shirt that I findamusing, DH doesn't really see the humor in it.

    image

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  • Iwillwinthisbattle
    Iwillwinthisbattle Member Posts: 1,076
    edited November 2017

    You ladies are so inspirational! Just when I’m feeling down, I read your posts and feel strong again. This is such a roller coaster of a process.

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited November 2017

    illimae, Hahahaha! I love it!

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited November 2017

    illimae, Hahahaha! I love it!

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