Just diagnosed and my mind is doing crazy things...

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Sarah_R
Sarah_R Member Posts: 23
edited July 2017 in Just Diagnosed

I'm a week into this and haven't even seen the surgeon yet so just am still reeling from the words invasive ductal carcinoma.... besides having the words "breast cancer" play like a loop in the back of my mind at all times behind everything else, I'm having this totally made up pain in my breast that started like the minute after I hung up the phone with the doctor's office after I heard those words.... I'm feeling insane because I know nothing hurt before that -- I know this is my brain -- but I'm walking around with a burning feeling like a round target mark on the breast. I would just love for someone to tell me that I'm not insane or at least that this will go away .....

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  • dtad
    dtad Member Posts: 2,323
    edited June 2017

    Hi Sarah...you are NOT crazy! We all know exactly how you feel right now. You are in the worst phase of this journey. I promise you will feel better than this. When you have all the facts about you BC and a treatment plan you will feel better. Our wandering minds are our worst enemy. Please feel free to PM if you want to talk more. Good luck and keep us posted.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2017

    You aren't crazy at all. You're normal and behaving normally under extreme stress. It's flight or fight syndrome and adrenaline does some pretty remarkable things to our brains and our bodies, making them hypersensitive (among others). Luckily I had some Xanax on hand to help me through the first rocky days and weeks. My surgeon who did the excisional biopsy wrote me the refill rx after we reviewed my pathology report together, the same day he referred me to an oncologist. He was great--said Xanax is great stuff for times like these, and didn't judge me at all.

    If you don't like using RX drugs, there are some supplements that you can buy from a natural foods store that can relieve the tension and freakout-ness of these days. Kava and valerian both come to mind right now. Google them and see how to guard against overuse--you can't drink alcohol with Kava, e.g., but they both do work.

    Do whatever it takes to relieve anxiety right now (underline whatever) and you'll see later that this is just a bump in your long road of life. You're going to be okay. And let us know how you're doing. This support group was and is still my lifeline. It relieves anxiety probably more than anything else does, most days :)

    Claire in AZ

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  • Pmass67
    Pmass67 Member Posts: 1
    edited July 2017

    Wow same exact feeling I had. Now there's always some sort of discomfort after hearing my diag

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  • Artista928
    Artista928 Member Posts: 2,753
    edited July 2017

    We've all been there. Try to keep very busy until you get more info and a tx plan in place. Once you know what you are doing it gets easier to deal with. GL

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  • MountainLife
    MountainLife Member Posts: 20
    edited December 2017

    Oh you are so not insane, lol. I went to the gyno last Tuesday, she sent me for a mammogram and ultrasound on Wednesday, followed by an appointment with a surgeon, who did another ultrasound, this time with biopsies, got my diagnosis on Friday. What a week! I am still in shock. I don't know what's coming tomorrow, but I have an appointment with an oncologist on Tuesday and get my port put in on Thursday. I still can't believe this is happening. I have been in pain all day. The lumps hurt and the biopsy spots hurt and I stood on a hard floor all day and my back hurts. Of course I've convinced myself it's cancer invading my back!

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  • Sarah_R
    Sarah_R Member Posts: 23
    edited July 2017

    so it is a few weeks later and going for surgery soon. The surgeon told me the biopsy itself can make some changes in your breast tissue which itself could be causing some pain or discomfort. But I know every single time I've had stress related to this whole saga since being diagnosed -- struggles scheduling surgery, getting through to my doc, waiting on tests results-- I get that pain in the "cancer" breast -- so I am so sure this is my head or at least mostly my head -- but that doesn't make the pain less real. So anyone finding this string now -- you aren't crazy or alone!!

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  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited July 2017

    Of course your pain is real! The pain is psycho-somatic; that is, it's real pain caused by your emotional distress. This is not the same as "all in your head." No. It started in your brain, but now is in your body. It's not made-up pain or "attention seeking" or fake. It truly is real pain.

    I have bipolar disorder. When my mood is depressed or anxious, it is very common for me to experience back and neck pain, for no apparent reason. Addressing the anxiety or depressed mood takes care of the pain. I take my meds religiously and when things are feeling out of hand, I contact my doctor and she helps me figure out a plan to resolve it. Sometimes that means taking something extra for a short time.

    When I was received my diagnosis we were on vacation. Ugh. By the time we got back to our hotel my legs and back hurt so bad I couldn't even straighten my knees. I was in tremendous pain all over. My beloved husband totally got it--he literally put me to bed with two pillows under my knees, ordered up some spaghetti (comfort food!), and watched back-to-back episodes of "Chopped" until I settled down . With the help of some Tylenol and my little man Xanax, I got a good night's sleep and the pain was so much better in the morning. As my surgeries and treatments unfolded, I experienced that same pain several times. Sometimes I needed the Xanax, especially if the pain kept me up at night. Most of the time I didn't need it, but it was comforting to know that the bottle was in the drawer, if I wanted it.

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  • KCMC
    KCMC Member Posts: 208
    edited July 2017

    No you are not crazy - I was diagnosed back in March and had pain in the arm the side of the cancerous breasr I was convinced it had spread. I also had to wait over two months from diagnosis to surgery. I opted to have a BMX with DIEP Flap. Left Breast had 4 rumors one 2.3 cm one 1.3cm , 0.8 and 0.5. All in all Mammogram, Sonogram, and MRI only caught 2 rumors but no lymph node involvement and guess what after surgery pain wa gone in my arm. I wouldn't say it was all in my, my pain was real but stress does strange things to you . During those 2 1/2 months I cleaned, gardened, walked, watched mindless TV. I reached out to every cancer survivor I knew. I found this website and it literally saved my sanity. Start preparing yourself get a 3 ring binder notebook and some sort of calendar. Once you get a treatment plan in place I promise you will feel better. I felt just like you. It's been 8 weeks since my surgery and I start Chemo on Wednesday. I feel much better now and I promise you will too. Hugs and good wishes to you.

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