Catholics

GrammyR,

Hope you get the help you need soon! Calling hospice is a big step; I pray that your son finds acceptance.

Tpralph,

Welcome! Remember that God feels closest to us when we are most vulnerable. Many blessings!

GrammyR: thinking of you and hoping the referral leads to an actual consult/admit soon. I also hope that the talk with son went well this weekend.

Oh, and WELCOME to Tpralph!! Glad you're here!!

GrammyR -- Still thinking of you, praying for you. RonnieK -- I'm glad that you and GrammyR have been there for each other. Hoping for a miracle, too. "For nothing will be impossible with God." The angel's words to Mary during the Annunciation.

Welcome, sunnyjay!

I just came back from adoration myself. It is so peaceful in our parish chapel. Yes, I pray for all of us at BCO.org, and often light a candle for my BC sisters and brothers.

Thanks for the warm welcome! I went to adoration after work and prayed for everyone here in BCO... Before surgery I would go to adoration on Thursdays after choir practice. I decided to take time off from choir while I recover so I haven't been going. But tonight I thought I'd go and start up my Thursday night ritual.

Here's a photo I took a week post-op that I want to share with you all, since it has given me peace throughout my recovery... A grotto of St. Bernadette & Our Bl. Mother at a Carmelite monastery in our city.

1. RonnieKay -my good friend and others -thought it about time to update . Not really leaving my room too much now coz of breathing issues but am at least pain under better control . Snooze a lot.. NO THINGS did not go so well on Sunday with my son -long story but hope it gets resolved .

GrammyR

My DH's sweet Mom died of bowel cancer 4 years ago. She was in South FL and we live in Ireland.

DH had not been able to take in how sick she was. This was of course partly because he was not seeing her, just talking on the phone. He flew over when she had the original surgery but had not seen her since that.

His Mom dealt with her illness by a certain amount of denial. Please believe me I have no criticism of this. With such a devastating diagnosis each person has to find their own way to cope, and this was her way.

I knew she was very sick because I recognised I was hearing things about her condition that sounded so much like things I had heard so many times about other very sick people. I am an only child so have been around adults, hearing adult talk all my life. Everything about his Mom's dterioration was ringing those alarm bells.

He was going over for his annual trip just after Christmas to visit his Mom with his 2 sons (from his first marriage) and was planning that part of the stay would be what he normally did on such trips - involving his Mom, other grandchildren etc all going for a big trip to Disney and Universal theme parks and Busch Gardens, everyone sleeping on floor at ex SIL's house in Orlando etc. His Mom was on permanent chemo, carrying a chemo pack, and getting weaker and I felt from everything I was seeing and hearing about her condition that absolutely no way was she well enough to do any of this. Just the risk of infection was so bad for her, never mind that she was not physically strong enough. However she did not tell him that she couldn't do these things anymore. Maybe she genuinely thought she would manage, I really don't know. So he was planning all this usual jam-packed activity, long car trips etc over the phone and as far as I could see she was dying. In a completely unplanned outburst I ended up screaming at him that his Mom was very sick and he should not be thinking of putting her through all this, her sleeping on the floor etc. He did get a terrible shock from my outburst and it was in no way a well thought out way to tell him what I felt, I was acting in pure desperation and emotion. He rang ex SIL then, and she told him that he "would see a great change" in his Mom when he came over. When he heard that from someone over there he understood. He still made the visit but it was a much different visit - not filled with 5 hour car trips and roller-coasters, but instead them all sticking close to home and spending time with her. He also made 2 more visits by himself over the following 2 remaining months of her life, thank God, so got to spend a lot of time with her and be a real help support and advocate for her before she was called home.

I am just telling you my experience because I thought it just could be possible that some of your difficulties talking with DS might be because he too is dealing with grief at your illness - in whatever way he does that. We are not always very clever and do not always choose the best ways to handle ourselves.

Best wishes for coming to a place of understanding and peace for both of you.

Thank you GrammyR I have got that. Hugs to you. XXX

Thank you for your warm welcome. I am planning on going to church this Saturday evening . Just had chemo yesterday so hope I'm up to it. Couldn't get there last week so watched a ministy on tv. It was really inspiring. Said that God gives us road blocks to prepare us for the next phase of our lives like a promotion and the challenges prepare us for it. We may get knocked down with illness or other things but as we go through it , it enhances us for something better to come. I really liked hearing that.

Grammy I pray and hope for you and your son

God bless

Grammy, so good to hear from you. Try your best to feel no guilt. Take all the TLC like it is Jesus himself handing it out to you. If you cannot be pampered now in weakness then when? Love Susanna

GrammyR - by letting your loved ones pamper you, you are giving them a precious gift they will cherish forever. Enjoy every second of it. My prayers are with you.

And you too Sunny.