How to help long distance Friend recently diagnosed

She would absolutely love anything. You could include stickers for the boys in the cards. I think a busy box of small toys, coloring books, videos, etc to pull out when she's tired and needs quiet time for the boys would be awesome. A gift card for pizza or Chinese delivered?

Husbands are another kettle of fish. A funny card every once in awhile? A pair of rubber gloves so he doesn't get dishpan hands? Mine washed dishes by hand for therapy. He probably wouldn't use them but it might make him laugh. My friends gave mine a backpack with snacks, magazines, etc to carry during sx waiting rooms.

I still have all my cards too. They meant a lot. I had small kids too. My friends and family were awesome with meals and cleaning house and giving my DH a break with childcare.

Honestly, the thing that helped us the most was food gift cards. With three little ones, and surgeries and appointments, and feeling blue because of the diagnosis, putting a meal together can be extremely hard. So pizza, panera, etc...even grocery cards maybe so her husband can pick up carry out.

Videos, books, etc, for the kids to be entertained. It's hard on the kids. My 4 year old daughter didn't understand what was going on, other than mommy had a boo-boo.

I liked cards best. I could open & read them in my own time & didn't have to deal with people ringing the door bell or calling on the phone when I was asleep. But the cards were wonderful.

My Mom (who lives very far away) talked with a local restaurant that always makes 5 different homemade soups every day. They created a "frequent soup card" just for me that let me stop in and get a nice warm dinner on my way home from work (it is cold here in winter and I love soup ). It was a punch card, and in the end, they didn't punch the last hole for several weeks. It was SOooo nice not to have to think about 'what's for dinner?' during certain phases of treatment.

So many great ideas here. I received a lot of cards in the first two weeks when I couldn't really appreciate them. Recently I gathered them all together and read them carefully. Now that I'm going through radiation daily - nothing. I would love to get a card or two now when I really feel in need of encouragement. So I love the idea of sending your friend a card every week, perhaps with a food gift card tucked in occasionally. But just knowing that you're thinking about her will mean the world to her.

MJ

Because I spent many years as a military spouse I have friends scattered across the country, and the world. A number of those friends calendared my chemo and Herceptin treatments - over the course of the year, a long haul - and texted me while I was in the chair. It was a great and thoughtful gesture and I so appreciated it! To know someone was thinking of me right as I was trying to summon the inner fortitude I needed to submit to treatment was a big boost. Neighbors cooked for me, but did it unobtrusively - I did cook ahead, and spent years as a caterer so dinner is not probably the first thing others thought of for us, but it was usually something along the lines of "I made a big pot of soup or chili, would you like to share it with us", which was so sweet. We had not lived in our neighborhood long before I was diagnosed so those who stepped forward in that way were awesome. I received books, button front pajamas, an insulated tumbler with a lid (invaluable!), lotions, and help with our dog, among other things. I have accompanied a few friends to chemo since my own diagnosis, and some have received nice soft blankets - some homemade - as it is often chilly in an infusion room. I had a wonderful fellow Air Force friend who had been diagnosed with breast cancer many years before who had uterine cancer when I was diagnosed - we went through chemo together, me in Florida and her in Virginia. We sent each other "thinking of you" cards, which was kind of hilarious. I think a soft and lightweight fleece zip front, boxed sets of DVDs of a fave TV show or series of movies, a magazine subscription, gift cards for local restaurants are all great, or even a gift of a grocery shopping service like Shipt or Peapod, or something similar. The work colleagues of a local single friend who had chemo banded together and purchased a selection of dinners from a prepared food company that was portioned and could be frozen or eaten immediately, which was super helpful for her.

Consistent caring contact is what is most helpful. Maybe make a note to text or call once a week and find out how it is going. One person called me every Saturday and that was very comforting, especially since I felt like I was on a flimsy raft in the middle of a scary ocean.