Single In treatment, post-treatment

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Eleanora23
Eleanora23 Member Posts: 91
edited August 2017 in Singles With Breast Cancer

Hi all,

I am single, and it has been one of the defining characterstics of going through treatment. I am near the end of a 1.5 almost of treatment that included two lumpex, chemo, radiation. About to have my final Herceptin infusion on friday.... so looking forward to that! But before I can truly celebrate (probably alone, but heck I'll do something fun like go to a concert where I am volunteering) I am waiting now for the results of my first post treatment Mammogram. Pins and needles stuff. I live alone in a rural area .. just thinking again of finding some other women (online) who have gone through this, as I actually do not know anyone.

I don't get the sense this board is active, but I'm giving it a try. Best !

Ellie

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  • Artista928
    Artista928 Member Posts: 2,753
    edited June 2017

    Hello. I did it all alone as well even though I'm not in a rural area. This board is very active. Check out the other forums like forming relationships after cancer and such. Many many people here who are out from tx and stick around to help and/or to provide support and friendship. No better board than this one!

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited June 2017

    Yes, this board is so active I could never manage to check even all the active posts in less than a couple of hours. Hope you DID celebrate the end of Herceptin!! Woo Hoo...

    I too am single. I had someone bring me home from mastectomy & from ALND because it was hospital rules. Other that that - I did it alone. I drove myself to 6 eight hour chemo infusions & back. I drove down the next day for Neulasta. I drove to all the doc appointments & post surgery checks. I drove to chemo again when the neo-adjuvant chemo didn't provide complete response. I drove to radiation by myself every day for 5 weeks. I drove to get my Hercepetin infusions for the rest of a year.

    Women on this board are REALLY supportive. I would have never made it without them. Hope you can find some threads that are relevant. Do let us know.

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  • Brightness456
    Brightness456 Member Posts: 340
    edited July 2017

    I'm so glad to see other singles doing this mostly alone. I have family nearby, but my sister isn't really emotionally able to be supportive so I want to avoid asking her for help and my daughter is starting a new job, so won't be able to help much. My friends say they will help with transportation to and from treatments, but I'm worried once it really starts, they won't be so available. Plus, I've always found it difficult to ask for help and be vulnerable.

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  • IntegraGirl
    IntegraGirl Member Posts: 147
    edited July 2017

    The "shitshow", as I fondly refer to it, is a marathon and if you're not married, it can be difficult to have anyone who is physically there for you in the long haul. I always like to look for the lesson when crap happens and I initially thought the lesson for me was to learn how to ask for and accept help. However, it soon became apparent that I would be very much on my own in dealing with it. Friends and family have their own sets of stuff to deal with and are busy handling their own lives. It's just the way it is.

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  • SiameseX2
    SiameseX2 Member Posts: 30
    edited August 2017

    I'm single too, I agree that it is something that was constantly pointed out during treatment. My brother and the boyfriend I was seeing at the time went to my surgery, as the require a ride home. Drove myself to 35 radiation treatments, I guess by now I am used to taking care of myself so it was just another thing I need to do. Also got 2nd opinion all by myself...

    I drive myself to the gym 3 times a week. When I injured myself, also got myself to physical therapy every other day!

    Had family and a close friend go to my first surgical consultation...it seemed like it was the thing to do when I first go the "big news." But then I decided to pursue treatment in the city, closer to my home (but farther from others)...

    Maybe it hasn't been so bad because it is "just DCIS" and I am only 42. Since I am divorced, I know it is way better to be single than married to someone who is NOT supportive, not helpful, not willing to help take over some responsibilities at such an important time.


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  • Eleanora23
    Eleanora23 Member Posts: 91
    edited August 2017

    I appreciate the posts here. I feel like I have some others with shared experiences. Now I'm a month out of the "offiicial" treatment and a bit less inclined to some of the emotional outbursts or just internal turmoil that came up frequently, from going it alone, no one to talk to etc. I feel a melancholy state has replaced the anger. I guess should check for a thread about post-treatment stuff. I'm not very good at this, so didn't use this site in terms of posting (I DID get LOTS of good info here though, for that so grateful....!) I am never sure where to post what.

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