Feeling sad.

Yup, it certainly does suck. There's a ton of collateral damage with breast cancer, physically and emotionally.

Are you considering delayed reconstruction? I can't remember if you chose not to get recon because of a medical reason or because you just weren't interested in going through it.

I am so sorry. (((Hugs)))

Emily beat me to it.  I'd suggest consulting with a PS or two. See what they say.  They may have a different opinion about whether reconstruction can be done and what kind.

Kira1234

That really sucks. People choose to reconstruct or to go flat for lots of reasons. There are pros and cons for both and it just comes down to a personal decision. If that decision was completely taken away from me, I would be really angry. 😡

At three weeks out I would imagine the anesthesia, pain meds, and trying to heal from the surgery make a lot of us depressed. I know I felt down. I'm understanding what people mean when they call this disease a sneaky b*tch.

Bravo to you for summoning the strength to get yourself together to go through this a second time.

Be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack while you are healing. Allow yourself to be angry and to process this. There is no shame in seeing a counselor to help you process everything. Maybe take control of what you can control. For example I lost my nipple in my mastectomy. If you did too, would it make you feel psychologically better to at consult a PS about options for nipples. I have read on here that fat grafting can help radiation damaged skin whether you decide to stay flat or not. Don't know if that is true.

And I am not implying you have to have anything done to make everything better. I'm just a control freak and it would make me feel better if I could take some control back in some way. If that doesn't help you or if anything here annoys rather than helps, tell me to shove it! 😀

I think you posted on the right board. I'm sure others will be along to help.

@$&& cancer

Hugs to you.

Kira,

I think a counselor would be a great place to start. I could probably use it myself with all we have to go through with this diagnosis. I may research and find one who deals with the aftermath of BC. Just be sure you pick a good one. Trust your gut. If you don't like the first one you pick, don't give up. Try another.

You can also start researching options like gap or doing nothing.

I do agree with the comment that you should talk with some plastic surgeons vs. just your BS and onc. You can at least validate what you have already been told and find a way to make peace with it or you can make an informed decision based on options you are given. I would say visit with at least three.

Keep us posted on how you are doing. I lurk a lot more than I post.

Most likely your surgeon ruled out immediate implant reconstruction, but there are other options, if after time you really find yourself not adjusting well to the flat thing.I agree that you should seek the opinion of PSs who do autologous reconstruction. Even if you decide not to have recon in the end, knowing that you do have options will restore your ability to choose.

In my case, immediate recon was also ruled out, and my doctor asked me to delay recon until I was done with treatment. At first it was weird, and it took me quite some time to get used to it. By the time I was all done with treatment, my desire for more was somewhere below nil 6 years out I am still flat.

kira, I'm so sorry for your circumstances. I can tell you - as one who knew from Day One that I did NOT want reconstruction, and really had to push to get my doctors to understand and respect my decision - those first few weeks and months were brutal. Losing your breasts is a huge deal, and even when staying flat is a choice, it's a drastic and life-altering change. I remember those early days - not wanting to see my own reflection (I had the added joy of being bald from neo-adjuvant chemo), and not wanting others to see me. All through rads, I was physically comfortable but emotionally/confidentially fragile. It was several months after I finished all treatments - once I got breast forms I liked and some hair - that I felt like I was finally "in recovery" and on the road back to being myself.

Granted, it was easier for me because all along I was secure in the knowledge that reconstructed 'breasts' would not do anything to enhance my life; I was content being flat, but it definitely wasn't easy adjusting & accepting the new me.

So give yourself some time. Heal, recover, get some strength back, and don't give up hope. As others have said, a plastic surgeon may find a solution for you! My PS definitely knew more about recon than my breast surgeon. For instance: I had implants (cosmetic) at the time and BS told me that would make recon easier since I already had a spot for new implants. Uh...no - that was not accurate at all! (It actually would have complicated matters.)

I hope you find strength & peace in spite of all that cancer has taken from you.

Rachel

I did fat grafting on radiated side and it improved the general área and quality of the skin and deeper tissue a lot.  I alsu use cannabis oil mixed with coconut oil and massage that in a few times a week - I am still flat on that side and hate it......as its not by choice but every surgeon who has looked at me since I did the graft and moisturising says skin is in good condition. It was not before for sure......

I am on a hugely long waiting list for reconstruction, been waiting 5 years so far........so I know how you feel, please don´t feel alone xx

Sending gentle hugs, Believe3. We understand your feelings, and being drained from all you've been through. We hope this community serves as a source of support and encouragement when you need it most.

The Mods