Getting reconstruction can be a very positive experience!

pupmom, I think you speak for a lot of women. When I had my BMX I decided on no reconstruction. Didn't want that stuff.

Well, was left with a hideous mass of folded ugly skin and scars on my chest. It's been 15 months since my BMX, and I really can't wait to get started on reconstruction. I always had beautiful breasts and I never realized how vain I was about them. I truly thought I would be fine going flat. I'm 60 years old. It's not like anybody is really looking at my breasts anymore. Except me. And I can hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror. I think Reconstruction is going to do my mental health a world of good.

That was THE only thing that kept me going, a light at the end of the tunnel that was surgery and txs topped off with side effects and complications. I was DD/DDD and while they were even, they sagged and I just didn't like them. Now I'm a nice size C cup. And even though I'm having issues with a little leak right now in the rad side, no way would I permanently have them removed. People I talk to understand how I'm fretting more about being 1-boobed for 6 mo than the issue itself. I had issues with my TEs too with infection and wasn't fretting over the infection but possibly losing my TEs. So I'm thrilled to have been a candidate for recon and would do it all over again going through the same issues. It's a great self esteem/mental boost and physical one too now that summer is here and I'm wearing very light more showy clothes. I also HATE wearing bras and with implant recon, it's quite firm so no need to!

And the bonus thanks to a federal bill passed years ago is recon is covered by insurance! Not everyone knows this.

I don't think they'll undo the insurance coverage for recon. Way way too many people get bc and opt for recon. It's been in place since I think it was Reagan who did it. Nancy his wife had bc if I recall.

Speaking of Nancy Reagan, I was suprised to hear she was being pressured to do lumpectomy and radiation when she wanted mastectomy. Obviously, she made some good decisions she lived to 94.

With all the talk of heath care savings I would walk on hot coals to protect our right for insurance covering reconstruction.

Just happy we have options!

I am still waiting for reconstruction and can say that feeling mutilated, un symmetrical, damaged, abnormal etc has had a FAR greater impact on me than the diagnosis of cáncer...............I feel embarassed writing this as it seems so trivial in comparison to other things but it has felt like a living nightmare for 5 years now and every summer I feel worse as there are cleavages on display, people relaxing at the beach etc and I cannot do that.......yes I might go to the beach once or twice in total instead of twice a week but I am sooo self conscious there it is not relaxing or enjoyable any more.......

"I am still waiting for reconstruction and can say that feeling mutilated,  damaged, abnormal etc has had a FAR greater impact on me than the diagnosis of cancer,"

Lily, I feel exactly the same way.  I really thought I would be fine with no recon. After all, I *am* 60. It's not like people are ogling my breasts. Who needs breasts when they're my  age, right?  Well, I had a tremendous amount of tissue necrosis on one side and a huge seroma on the other. It took 4 months to get it all healed up--thank God for wound vacs, or I'd still be packing wounds!  I was left with a chest full of scarred, folded skin that really looks hideous. I can hardly stand to look at myself and I try very hard not to let my husband see it either.

I was unable to tolerate any sort of bra or breast forms at first. Around 7 months post-BMX I received some Knitted Knockers and I was amazed at what happened:  I immediately had a boost in self-esteem. I didn't want to take them off, ever~!  I wore them every day for a week and then made my decision. I NEED reconstruction for my mental health.  That's all there is too it. 

I have had to put off having reconstruction for a combination of reasons.  My mother has been extremely ill for the past 6 months and has nearly died twice. She is in end stage kidney failure and has stage 4 kidney cancer with mets to her liver. She's failing fast. I have scheduled surgery twice and had to cancel twice. At this point, I'm just going to wait until she passes, which I expect will happen within 4-6 weeks. However, the silver lining with this is that I've had plenty of time to research my options. The recon decision I might have made at surgery is definitely not the decision I'd make now.   Having interviewed 2 local PSs made me realise that NO ONE was listening to what I want, but rather they were pushing their favorite surgeries (lat flap with implants--no thanks.)  When I'm ready to pull the trigger I will be going to NOLA for DIEP recon.

Wow, Lily. Why are you on an 8yr waiting list? That seems REALLY excessive

Its  long story but in a nutshell, they lied to me for the first 2 years and told me recon was not available even when I showed them written documentation showing it was an automatic right.  When I was so distressed in an appt with my Oncologist 2 years later he picked up the phone and sent me to the surgeons.  They looked at me and said they could onlyoffer something with a prosthetic which I do not want adn never have as I react so badly to all kinds of foreign substances....so I was finally sent to a plastic surgeon who took a brief look at me and told me it was at least 4 years waiting list.....and said goodbye, she thought I was odd that I left her office sobbing.......since then the waiting time has gone up by a year and is now a mínimum of 6 to 7 years from addition to the waiting list but as they lied to me for 2.5 years then for me it is over 8 years - the joys of a public system...........I  have made an official complaint to the health dept government for my área about the fact I was lied to and that I want the years I was deprived of being on the waiting list for added to my waiting time, aka punishment for daring to want my rights, ie to feel reasonably normal again......this year it is even worse as i have lost more flesh above where the breast should be and I do not feel comfortable in any summer clothes.  If they do not agree to reinstating the years they prevented me from having on the waiting list then I am going to the national level. 

I cannot put in to words how distraught I am today when I found out there is still another 4 years to wait if I don´t win my complaint..............as there are so many women waiting - great eh a first world country that is cruel.......shameless........inhumane....

Meow13, I wonder how many of these bad flap outcomes are due to a PS that just isn't experienced enough? when I was investigating the LAP flap, the recommendation was to be sure and pick a surgeon that was very experienced in micro surgery

My younger daughter came and stayed 2 weeks after my BMX. I just had to stay out of the kitchen - I obviously failed at cleaning lessons

Trishyla,

I am going in for a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction (silicone implants) on 6/2/17. The only "advice " or direction I have received is from fellow survivors and in these forums. I don't know if size has anything to do with the amount of pain. You are encouraging. I almost decided to pass on the reconstruction , but you're right - even if it's "little B me" and the 50 lb. dog, I think at 49 it would be psychologically beneficial . My main concern is pain and recovery time , living alone .

My 6 year old under-the-pec implants look 'okay' when I "pose" with my hands on my hips and shoulders pulled back, maybe a little twist to the side....

and they look 'okay' to others since I only wear dark shirts or layers.

But they are ripply because the muscles squish them around, and uneven, and really weird and puckered on the sides...

Yes, I can live with it and do what I want to do. but then again do I want to look at this and think about this everyday for the rest of my life? I am only 53. I am scheduled for DIEP. I want to feel normal. I sure hope it is worth the major surgery. My husband gets it and supports me. Other people, not so much: why? you look fine! I wonder how it is going to go, having surgery and 6 weeks or so of downtime "out of the blue" as opposed to when everyone knew I had cancer.