Here's what cheezed me off today

Options
17576788081

Comments

  • Luckynumber47
    Luckynumber47 Member Posts: 397
    edited April 2017

    Thanks Stllivin. Wish I needed more jewelry or a new car. I did put the phone on the monthly payment plan so he'd be "reminded" every month. You'd think after 30+ years I'd have him better trained.

  • kathindc
    kathindc Member Posts: 2,042
    edited April 2017

    Lucky, don't count on it. My husband and yours could be twins in gift giving and this has been going on for 43 years. I did get Christmas gifts the first year we were married. Instead of looking at the sizes of my clothes while I was at work, he described me to the saleswomen. Not one thing fit and there has been nothing since. Not even jewelry. He sees nothing wrong with that scenario.

  • Luckynumber47
    Luckynumber47 Member Posts: 397
    edited April 2017

    So, kath, what do you do? I hope you take all your girlfriends out every year to celebrate with you or buy yourself something awesome. At least you can get clothes you like.

    When I "discussed" this with DH I told him the bottom limit for my gifts should be $100. After all, we give each of the kids $50 for birthdays so I should be more. I think next year I'll post a list of hints for him since he seems so idea challenged

    Really, though, it wasn't so much the lack of a gift, it was the total thoughtlessness. Even a full year out from surgery I still struggle emotionally and I just wanted him to show/tell me how much I matter to him. I guess guys just aren't wired for that

  • glowgene
    glowgene Member Posts: 37
    edited April 2017

    I feel like this is a silly thing to be upset over...but man it's put a dark cloud over my head. At every step of my process, from finding a lump up until getting my actual diagnosis, I've been told that this is nothing to worry about. At the ultrasound, they said they were certain it was a fibroadenoma, but they still wanted to have it biopsied due to a lobulated edge. I said I wanted it out due to it's size so we just scheduled the excision w/o needle biopsy. I never asked for the U/S report because I didn't think it would have anything meaningful in it. Turns out I had a BI-RADS category 4B with "Suspicious abnormality. Moderate suspicion for malignancy." All is well now and I trust my doctors, but I'm still concerned that they will continue to look at my age and stats and make incorrect predictions about the severity of my disease in future.

    I've nearly died twice in the last 2 years because doctors wouldn't believe me when I said something was really, really wrong. "You're too young. It's probably nothing." No! I know what nothing feels like! This is not nothing! One nurse at the ER hooked me up to a heart monitor after I spent 9 hours in the waiting room with (what we eventually discovered was) a blood clot in my lung and said, "Oh! So you weren't faking it?"....Really?!

    My primary care physician (who has been with me for all of my diagnoses) told me that she now treats me as if I am a very healthy woman in my 50s or 60s, as it seems to be a better assumption as far as diagnosis goes. I wish I could convince my other doctors to think the same way. It would make me feel a bit better when they discuss likely outcomes.

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited April 2017

    Was supposed to go to my nephew's birthday party today but because my idiot neighbors were partying until 2 a.m. neither my hubby or I got much sleep so we aren't going be going. We were looking forward to being at the party

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2017

    Hey, Everyone! Just checking in. Been very busy with Mom. Good to see everyone still feels they can come here to vent. Sure does help sometimes. And just so you know, I agree that men can be brainless neanderthals 90% of the time. And that includes husbands and brothers! Keep cheezin' and giving 'em hell. Hugs!

  • Penzance
    Penzance Member Posts: 101
    edited May 2017

    Agree men can be #*+@. Director at my company just took a whole week off work because he had fallen off hisbike and hurt his arm (no fracture). Same guy thinks I was pretending when I struggled to use my hand on the macrobiopsied side... I didnt even take time off, used a bank holiday weekend for the procedure. Now I have a client (married, but divorced several times and has a lot of affairs...) trying to 'date' me, he thinks that because I have cancer I must be desesperate to 'enjoy life' before I die... And this morning I had the bus driver trying cheesy talk... Particularly pissed off as he was 1 hour late yesterday, and the week before there was an accident, so it's taken me 5 hours to get to work 2 working days in a row: as if I didn't have enough problems at work already!

  • Lulu22
    Lulu22 Member Posts: 175
    edited May 2017

    Not exactly about BC but kinda, here's what pissed me off today.

    Brothers and I have been busting our butts doing close to 24/7 at severely ill dad's bedside. Sister, who has been in Florida for the last 3 or 4 weeks "to pack up the winter house for the season" comments that she would have been home sooner to help but her husband wanted to spend some quality time together. WTF? She and her husband are both retired and in good health. I have a part-time job, a kid still in school and a husband working 60 hours a week while in treatment for advanced melanoma. I have a 50-50 chance getting 5 more years with my hubby (even assuming I don't have a recurrence) and you two need quality time?!

  • Rockym
    Rockym Member Posts: 1,261
    edited May 2017

    Sounds like your sister doesn't really give a crap about her father and would rather take care of her own needs and wishes. She is either avoiding because she can't handle the emotions or she is avoiding because she is selfish. Either way, that totally sucks.

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited May 2017

    Lulu, I agree with Rocky. Your sister's behavior sounds very selfish

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2017

    Pen, man you've been surrounded by d(&%#@bags lately. Rocky and I once said we were going to carry glitter around in our pockets and when people said stupid things or acted like idiots we were going to sprinkle them with stupid dust. Seems like a tradition that needs to be resurrected!

    Lulu, I have a brother who is just like your sister. Instead of helping with my invalid mom, he says he wants to take long rides on his motorcycle and play on his ski boat to "enjoy what life he has left". He's never had a life-threatening disease. Unless Chronic Selfish Dumbass is now classified as a disease. Men! I swear testosterone causes stupidity!

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited May 2017

    I am so peeved off this morning. Had to call the police about a neighbor playing music so loud I could hear it over my bedroom fan which was on high last night. The person who answered the call acted as if it was an imposition for her to take the complaint. The ditz actually had the nerve to tell my hubby that if the music stopped to call back and let them know. My hubby almost said to them "Am I supposed to stay up all night just so the you don't have to send an officer over to enforce the noise ordinance?" Running on about three hours of sleep because of it.


  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2018

    Wow! Just got a chance to check in and it sure is quiet on here. Hope that means everyone is well and no one is cheezing you off. Stay well and cheezeless!

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited February 2018

    My mom cheezedboth me and my hubby off this week. She took what was supposed to be a simple birthday party for her and tried to make it a big production.

  • Juli24
    Juli24 Member Posts: 90
    edited February 2018

    my hubby! This man is never wrong. I also have never heard him apologize unless threatened. He never says anything nice & brings his work grumpiest home to pick on me. I am Stage 4 with secondary Multiple Schlerosis. A knee replacement in October threw me into a huge MS relapse. I haven’t driven or walked since the surgery. I use a walker or a wheelchair. I guess he is sick of my illnesses but heck....so am I. He used to help me....now he walks away. I’ve been sleeping on the couch. It is the only comfortable place. He doesn’t even say goodnight. It is like we are roommates.....and bad ones at that. This is my first bout with not being able to walk & it’s scary. I can’t live this way with such negativity and stress. Started looking at assisted living facilities but not sure how I will do financially. I just want out of this loveless existence. Anyone else gone thru anything similar. Advice greatly appreciated

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2018

    Mommy: Life is hard enough without drama queens spoiling the special days that are few and far between. My hubby and I have our 30th anniversary coming up on the 20th and we aren't telling anyone where we're going and what we're doing. Just don't need the drama.

    Juli: I know exactly what you mean. Maybe your hubby needs to get some therapy. Some people can't handle weakness in others until it happens to them. From what I've heard, most husbands aren't supportive so you're not alone. It's ok to become a little selfish and make the world all about you. You're going through hell and you don't need anyone's approval if you don't get what you need. You've probably been the one who always took care of others and damn it, it's their turn to take care of you. If they don't, kick 'em out and do what you need to do. And no guilt! Love and hugs!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2018

    So after all these months of being AWOL, I'm finally back home. Some of you know that I have been out of town taking care of my invalid mom. My sweet mommy passed away on June 1st, preceded by the unexpected death of my younger brother after surgery. A month later my cousin passed from complications of diabetes and 3 weeks after that a former student was killed in a car accident. So the suckfest was over right? Wrong! During my mammogram today, a spot was discovered in my right breast. Yeah, the "good" breast. So they did a sonogram and found not one but 3 spots. Count 'em! THREE!!!!!! Now I have to wait 6 months and do another sonogram before we begin to have any answers. Great! Right now, I can't even look at all the people walking around in their pink shirts and pink ribbon hats. I'm just sitting at home crying. I don't know what else to do. This sucks!


  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited October 2018

    (((((((Rohanna))))))) Sometimes sitting and crying is the most reasonable response. Is there another test they could do to get answers sooner than 6 months? I would go nuts waiting. I'm really sorry about the loss of your Mommy and all the other important people in your life. That is just way too much to happen in a short time. I'll join you in hating every *&%$ pink ribbon I see.

  • Rockym
    Rockym Member Posts: 1,261
    edited October 2018

    Pink ribbons are effing ridiculous. I don't know a single person that has had breast cancer that thinks these things are good. I would tell a person wearing this crap thta they are really supporting the company and not the women, but I have bigger things to get ticked about ;--)


  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited October 2018

    Awwwwww Rocky, sorry you’ve had such a string of loss and bad news.

    Totally agree about the pink ribbon crapola. I like pink clothes, but won’t wear them in October. Much less buy, or support anything with a pink ribbon on it this month.

    We are aware. Support research.

  • Rockym
    Rockym Member Posts: 1,261
    edited October 2018

    Rohanna has had the loss and bad news, but my life sucks too from time to time ;--) We both lost our moms this year.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2018

    So I heard from the oncologist who disagreed with the mammography and says there are 2 spots instead of 3. Great! SMH! I asked if we could do something before 6 months and she said she's not worried enough to do a biopsy yet. Well, I'm glad to know SHE'S not worried! I don't know what else to do. The waiting is agony!

    I was wondering if anyone has any experience with cbd oil? I've just started using it and I'm really happy with the results.

    Hope everyone has a great weekend and stay warm!

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited November 2018

    Really cheezed off at my FIL. He proceeded to tell us yesterday that we needed to re-home our new kitten because we didn't need to have another cat. He also told us that if we go to Thanksgiving over at their house, we cannot talk about anything to do with what we like to talk about. I almost told him where to put his head.

  • Julesm59
    Julesm59 Member Posts: 24
    edited November 2018

    Mommy, I would tell FIL that you will have what ever number of cats that you want. They are alot more supportive than he is. He told you that you can't talk about anything other than what he likes to talk about, what a controlling @#$#$. I would be cheezed off as well. Nothing like having a non-supportive FIL.

    Rohanna, she's not worried, but she doesn't have these spots growing inside her. I would be cheezed off.

    I have been reading this site. You women are warriors. I am so glad this site exists and has been for over 7 years. Wonderful empowering warriors.


  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited November 2018

    What’s it to him how many cats you have? How does that become his right to stick his big nose in what you NEED vs WANT?

    Think I’d skip the dinner too if he wants to control the conversation.

  • pingpong1953
    pingpong1953 Member Posts: 362
    edited November 2018

    Rohanna, you've already had cancer and they want to wait? You're high risk - why would they wait? That's crazy!

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited November 2018

    Thanks Gals! Hubby was none too pleased either. My FIL can be a real jerk most of the time.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2018

    When someone tells you how many pets you can have in your own home, what you need, and what you can discuss in their homes, it's time to slowly cut those ties. Your FIL is trying to control you and that never turns out well. It just gets worse. I used to have issues like this with my MIL and I slowly pulled away until we have no contact. My DH goes to visit her several times a year but I stay home. My cats bring me laughter, love and compassion. Something she never did. I don't miss her!

    I don't understand why I have to wait 6 months either but I was told it could either be cysts or deep tissue bruising. I'm taking tumeric, vitamin C and cbd oil. Just covering my bases. I asked the oncologist why I had to wait and she said she agreed with the doctor who read my mammogram and sonogram and there is no reason to panic. My original cancer was slow-growing and maybe that's part of it. But what says this is the same cancer?

    Meanwhile, I'm putting up Christmas decorations early just to make myself feel better. Not putting up a big tree this year. Bought two 2 ft. Norfolk pines and put them on each side of the fireplace. I will lightly decorate them and put some garland along the mantel. I've got peppermint oil going in the diffuser. We're not going to MIL's house for Thanksgiving. My husband is but my daughter and I are staying home. Won't have to make a ton of food but, get this. My SIL is a condescending hateful busybody and insists she make all the food for Thanksgiving. Her food is absolutely disgusting and in years past, she would hide most of the food and dole it out to her 2 brats. This year she asked my husband to get me to make a pan of dressing to send because she only makes stovetop stuffing and everybody hates it. Can you believe her nerve? Maybe I'll "accidentaly" use too much salt! LOL

    Hugs, Cheezers!

  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited November 2018

    In May 04 my mom died. I couldn’t get away till Thanksgiving to take her ashes 1,000 miles north for burial. Where 4 bil live. Not one of the jerks offered me and my pregnant DD to stay with them. Or to have dinner with them on T day.

    I haven’t been back in 14 years, have no interest in going. Don’t want to hear “family “ news. DH doesn’t understand this.

    Can you tell I’m still pi$$ed 14 years later?

    Don’t go, enjoy the day at home without the restrictions.

  • M0mmyof3
    M0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,696
    edited November 2018

    We are. That way my new kitten gets to have quality time with Mommy, Daddy and siblings. Plus, she will get a little bit of Turkey just like her elder siblings.

Categories