Scared and can't pull it together

Hi Ktweasel, and welcome to Breastcancer.org! We're sorry for your diagnosis and for what you are going through, but we're glad that you reached out!

Now that everything is so strange and new for you, we wanted to recommend you to read through the pages of the following section from our main site. It's called Breastcancer 101, and has been designed for those newly diagnosed, to help you understand test results, the individual characteristics of the cancer, treatments that are recommended for you, and more.

Hang in there. There is plenty support on the boards just waiting for you.

Wishing you the best!!!

The Mods

I am also newly diagnosed this week, don't have further test until Monday (MRI) and doing the same as you are: thinking about worst case scenarios and obsessing over every little issue I've had over the past couple of years and wondering/worrying if any are related. I can't sleep or function well at all. Took two days off work because I can't focus and that stresses me more because I know I'll need to take more time off later, so I wish I were emotionallystrong enough to work now.

I'm sorry I have no advice (though the veterans here might) but I wanted to reach out and say hello from someone else who is going through it.

Hugs to you and keep us posted on what you find out.

Ktweasel and Epic:

Sorry you are here -- but you WILL find support. I could not have made it through without BC.org.

First, many will tell you and I'm not sure it helps to hear but it's true...you are in the worst time right now. Believe me, the fear lessens as you gain more information and this path does level out some. I imagined all the worst case scenarios, too, and felt extreme moments of fear due to having a 9-year-old child to worry about. But it got better with information/education, action (surgery + adjuvant therapy for me), support. I am now almost three months past surgery and starting to feel, well, not normal because it's a new normal -- but I'm settling into my new normal. You will, too!!! Ask questions/vent/etc. And get a GREAT medical team on your side.

My plan was taking each issue one at a time -- one moment/day at a time. Take a breath. Come here. Guessing there is nothing you can say or ask that has not been said/asked before.

Big hug to both of you!

Hi so sorry you have to make this journey. I understand how scared you are. I was diagnosed in January and the phone call was like being hit in the stomach so hard I couldn't move. I cried and I have days where I still cry. This is a great place to get support and answers to questions you may have. Try just to take it one day at a time since it's very overwhelming. Treatment today is much better than ever and there are many resources available. Best advice I can give you is to find a doctor who makes you feel comfortable, ask questions, and know we are all here for you. I wish you all the best you got this.

Okay, Ktweasel, the HER2- part of your hormone receptor status tells us that this is a less aggressive beastie than it could be (HER2 overexpression is a driver of growth). And the ER+ means that you'll be able to use endocrine therapy. These are good pieces of information and will help you and your team as you start to make your treatment plan.

Please, please stop "kicking yourself". That just 'adds insult to injury' (as the expression goes). You are dealing with it now. You need all of your mental energy to collect information and engage in discussions about what you want for your treatment. Spending some valuable energy castigating yourself is not really helpful. (please read that with sincere empathy, not scolding) Now is the time to pamper yourself, go for a massage or a mani-pedi. Spend time enjoying your lovely children to take your mind off being worried. I agree with all of the women above, this is one of the hardest times because you don't have your "marching orders" yet and can feel powerless. It is a steep learning curve. Once you've selected your team, made your plan and get going, you've turned an important corner. Until then, practice good self care and do things you enjoy with those you love. You can do this! We're here with you. ((hugs))

Hi, I was just diagnosed March 1st, I am 47 years old and have two children 10 and 12. Things do get better, I have my surgery scheduled in 10 days, double mastectomy with DIEP flap immediate reconstruction. My best advice is let yourself grieve, don't be hard on yourself. Keep yourself busy, do things you enjoy. I still have days that I cry, but not as often now that I feel a bit more in control of things. I deal with depression already and upped my anti depressant, started exercising, I walk about 12-15 miles a week. All these things help and make me feel a bit more normal. Hang in there, there are a lot of great ladies and men on this board. Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself. Sending positive vibes your way.

I was also diagnosed this week (yesterday). I am also a mother of 3 (23, 19 & 8). Right now the only person that knows is my husband. My oldest daughter is scheduled to take the LSAT for law school in 3 weeks and I can't add this stress to her, especially since I don't know what it all means yet. I also don't know how to pull it together at this point. Today I went shopping because I didn't want to stay home alone to think. But then I felt like such a fake as I ran in to people that I know and of course said "good" to the "how are you" questions. I don't know how I'm going to function working tomorrow in the ER without falling apart!