Some questions about breast forms

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I wear only one form on one side. It's Amoena silicone, I was professionally fitted. I'm incredibly insecure about it. It slides around, sags, limits my wardrobe, I worry about it looking different, people finding out, etc. So I was hoping that you guys had some of this figured out and could help me out.

1. Should I try for a lightweight foam one? I'm hoping it won't move around so much and will enable me to wear strapless bras with strapless and backless dresses.

2. Getting professionally fitted is really expensive. It's not that easy to go through that and then just order it online. But how else would I find a good fit? My insurance doesn't cover any of this.

3. Uh, what about when a guy touches your chest, but you don't feel comfortable telling or showing people that you wear one?

4. I know I can sew in pockets, but I'm worried about the pockets being really obvious. And sometimes a bra doesn't lie completely flat, and you can see the inside of the edge of the cup. So I'm worried about either the cup or the bra form being able to be seen. Every outfit being high-necked isn't practical either.

5. Off topic for this subforum, but I REALLY want fat transplant surgery to address the unevenness. I'm just one cup size in difference, so it should accomplish symmetry (with a good surgeon), but there's no way I can afford it, especially since I'm on disability, and my insurance won't cover it. Are there any other avenues that are available for getting this procedure? It's not something that I'd crowd fund for.


Thank you!

Comments

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited May 2017

    Sothursty, you bring up a lot of big, and important questions.

    1. Probably worth trying a lightweight form (foam). They are definitely lighter, washable, and could be a good option for you.

    2. Have you contacted Nearly You? They provide a lot of help, which could work for your situation. http://www.nearlyou.com/?v=47e5dceea252

    3. Naturally, a sensitive issue - and very dependent on the partner, what you share beforehand.

    4. You should be able to find bras that have the correct pocket size, and styles, to accommodate a prothesis, without it showing. Where have you shopped? Again, try Nearlyyou.com?!

    5. Another very personal choice, but perhaps worth getting the details on how much it would really cost, and the recovery period.

    Glad you found us, and thanks for sharing!

    You may find other ideas here: Prosthetics

  • Luckynumber47
    Luckynumber47 Member Posts: 397
    edited May 2017

    Have you tried Nordstrom? They'll sew a pocket in any bra for free so you can try on a whole variety of bras and see what meets your needs

  • kareenie
    kareenie Member Posts: 339
    edited May 2017

    Have you looked at Amoena contact form? Ir has sticky on the edges and sticks to your chest. You can wear with any bra and does not move around. Mine is called Balance Contact Delta. They cone in different shapes. Mine is hollow in back to even out asymmetry.

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited May 2017

    I tried several silicone forms and they all sagged. It was ridiculous. Now I just use stiff, silicone bra pads.They keep their shape and stay put in a yoga top (can't wear bras, because of lymphedema issues). Since you have to match the other boob, I would experiment with non-silicone forms.

  • carmstr835
    carmstr835 Member Posts: 388
    edited May 2017

    I had a bilateral mastectomy 7 weeks ago and have been to 3 different establishments that claim to provide mastectomy products. I was given several places by treatment center. I called the one most likely to have several different products because they advertised everything. I was very disappointed, it was unprofessional and not very sympathetic to my personal issues. I brought clothes to wear but was told on the phone I could only bring one shirt, they only had an hour to spend with me. I explained my purpose was to be able to wear my former clothes. I recently (before my breast cancer) bought 4 new bathing suits and was hoping to be able to wear them as well as my blazers and bras.

    I was a 42 DD. I am now completely flat. 37 inches around my chest.

    I arrived at 10 am for my 10 am appointment and was met with a lot of commotion and a room full of people (5-6). Men and women both. I walked in and there was a woman behind the counter talking with another woman. I walked up to the counter, they continued to talk, no welcome or smiles or even an acknowledgement that I was there as they continued their conversation. I was within 2 feet of these employees, they could not have missed me. Eventually she asked me my name, and I stated I had an appointment for 10. She nodded, and continued her conversation with the other employee and as she talked to her, she motioned for me to look another direction and said I was to go with her.

    There was no hi my name is or welcome to our store. I dutifully followed this person to a back room that looked more like a storage warehouse area. She was busily adjusting things, putting things away, and closing doors as I just stood there watching her. Then I decided to sit down, but was never invited to. Then she sat next to me busily got out paperwork and began firing questions at me (never did introduce herself) and demanding ID as well as insurance card. I expected to share those with her, but it just wasn't very welcoming or nice. Then she asked a lot of personal questions as well as my social security number, and I really was uncomfortable giving out my personal info. Why she needed to know my marital status and if I was in a relationship is beyond me. I was not asking for credit and they are not my doctor and my insurance pays in full.

    Next she stated I was to take off my clothes as she left the room to copy my personal papers. She never told me what to take off or even why, I assume my coat, shirt and upper undergarments. There was no cover up to wear. The door was large and I would be visible to anyone on the other side when it opened. I sat there for a while, then decided this was not for me. I am just not ready for this yet. I just got up and asked for my papers back and left. I told them I just wasn't ready. Then I cried in the car and left with tears. It was bad. But I do need to be able to wear my clothes.

    A few days later, I tried again at a Wright and Philippis out of town. I arrived on time and waited about 15 minutes. It was much more professional. I was called back to get fitted. I told her my former size and said it is most important I can fill out my clothes, but all the larger breast forms created a huge gap between my chest and the bra. They said that is the way they fit. So I left there with nothing. I did finish the appointment. I did not cry. I was more frustrated. Should there be a 1/2 in to 3/4 inch gap on your chest where I can see the breast form inside the bra, and so could anyone taller than me standing next to me?

    Next, I went to a university teaching hospital prosthetic department. I had an hour appointment with them as well. It wasn't much better than Wright and Phillipis. However she was able to fit the bra next to my chest if I chose to be a "B" cup. Well, I was a "DD" that just is not going to do anything for my clothes. She thought I looked great in the "B". She seemed very upset, that I had too much criteria and she just doesn't have what I want. I wanted the bra to fit the prosthetic and fit against my chest with no gaps and fill out my clothes. At least a D, if a C fits my clothes, then a C. I don't want a padded bra or one with a wire, I was told no wires by my doctors. I also want the breast form to be in front of me and not wider than I am. I can't be comfortable with breasts that point outward towards my underarms. I never had my breast where I could feel them under my arms and that to me is just weird. She kept trying to fit the wrong breast forms in a different sized bra, using a B cup bra with a C or D prosthetic. They did not stock enough for larger people. So I left there with nothing as well.

    Is there a way to find a prosthetic and a bra to fit? I can't use the internet, I won't know how it fits. I also need them to take my blue cross PPO. I can't believe this is so hard.


  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited May 2017

    Carm, I am so sorry for your experiences. That just sucks. I am a small person in comparison, which comes with a different, but similar set of challenges. Also, I can't wear a bra, because the band irritates my lymphedema and gives me swelling below the armpit. I use yoga tops for bras. In the first mastectomy shop I went to, they just looked confused when I said I couldn't wear a bra and that was pretty much that.

    However, assuming you find a better shop to help you, bring your favorite blazer and try it with different sizes of boobs. Then go as small as possible. The larger the foob, the more uncomfortable it generally is.

  • MoreShoes
    MoreShoes Member Posts: 322
    edited May 2017

    carmstr835, I feel you pain. One year after the BMX I'm still wearing the post op prosthetics. It's about time I find some real ones but I don't know what to choose. My breast used to be size D, I went to foams size C. Lately I tried my old bras again (no I hadn't thrown them) and they just didn't feel like me anymore.

    I got two different types of prothetics to try out from the fitter but I'm torn. The one is light weighted and feel natural. But it's also saggy. The other one is from more stif silicone, is a little heavier but looks great under clothes. I was hoping to find a post with experiences from others.

    Good luck in finding a shop that can help you. You were right to walk out of the first one. Maybe size D or C can work for you. And maybe finding someone to help you with taking in some of your new clothes.

  • Kicks
    Kicks Member Posts: 4,131
    edited May 2017

    Carmstr - IF I had a 'complaint' about the place I go for my bras and pros. - it would be that they only carry 'stuff' for larger women. They always have to order in bras (and every few yrs when I get a new pros.) for me. Depending on the particular bra, I wear a 32 or 34 and either an A or B. I call Nicole when it's time for more bras and she orders in ones she thinks (based on her records of my 'likes' - no pink or purple and must be underwire) I would like. When in, I go in and try them on, get the ones I like and the ones I don't like they return.

    I don't remember at this moment ever sewing a pocket into a bra. I get mastectomy bras that have the pocket. I also buy some real 'cheapy' bras at Walmart (etc.) that are 'uplift bras with a pad' because they are CUTE and cheap. Most have a the pad is in a 'pocket' so take the pad out and put pros. in.

    I've never had a problem with a 'sagging' pros. Well, there was 1 bra I got early on that my breast 'sagged' but it was not an underside.

    I do have a strapless bra but don't wear it often, no problem with it.


  • GeorgiaRai
    GeorgiaRai Member Posts: 175
    edited May 2017

    I was happy with the first set of silicone forms I got after surgery, and have reordered the same ones as needed over the years. But it took me longer to find a bra that held them the way I wanted. I didn't like them moving, falling forward, riding up, etc. Luckily, I don't have any residual pain along my scars or in my chest, so what I ended up with was a "long line" bra from TLC Direct. The band is wider, and rides lower than regular bras, so it doesn't slip. It's not super low cut/demi in the front, so I can't wear low cut or wide scoop-necks, but regular V-necks, t-shirts, button ups, etc. cover it completely. I just keep ordering the same bras over & over because nothing else works for me.

    They also make a long line version of their "especially for you" bras - bras with pockets that are pre-filled with lightweight beads - that I really want to try. Those really seem like they'd stay close to the body and not gap at the top.

    Carnstr, your story hurts to read, and I hate that you were treated so badly. Do any of your local hospitals have a "women's shop"? That's common here, but maybe not where you are. If you decide to risk it on an online purchase, I know TLC lets you return anything that doesn't work for you, and their prices are much more reasonable than what I purchased (and didn't like) from the fitter. Best of luck to you.

  • AKJ
    AKJ Member Posts: 190
    edited May 2017

    I finally settled on Coobie bras. My prosthesis sags a bit but I sew some stitches under it to keep it in place. The bras come up high enough under my armpit so it doesn't cut into the swelling from my lymphedema. It took a long time trying different things. I also have a lightweight swim form that I wear sometimes but it tends to move around and I'm constantly adjusting it

  • Goincrzy8
    Goincrzy8 Member Posts: 387
    edited May 2017

    If you are not happy you should tell your insurance company so they can refer you to someone else. Will they pay for and do you have a Nordstrom's close by? I am lucky the place they sent me, lady was nice, perfect fit and large size bra's in decent design and color.l

  • Luckynumber47
    Luckynumber47 Member Posts: 397
    edited May 2017

    I had a fitting at a local mastectomy shop and it was a disaster. Bad neighborhood, prostitutes wandering in and out, rude, inexperienced fitter, etc. Then I had a fitting at Nordstrom's. The fitter was very professional and took enough time with me to be sure I got the right prosthetics but their bra selection was terrible. Sure, they'll sew pockets in for you but they had very few bras without underwires.

    My best fitting bra is an Amoena Holly SB. Before surgery I was a 42G and now I'm a 40 extra flat. The Amoena bra is a 40B and holds both my #5 and #8 prosthetics fine, (and any other form/padding I use) and stays close to the chest. All of my former clothes fit fine except now I look slimmer and trimmer.

    I took a couple low cut dresses with me when I went for a fitting and just couldn't find a bra that didn't show so I use Tapes-To-Go to keep my dress from moving and showing my bra

    I have gone through many bras in the year since surgery trying to find what works best for me and my new body. I'm sure after some experimentation you'll get there too.

  • kalenji
    kalenji Member Posts: 12
    edited May 2017

    I also wear one form on one side. I think the key to the right fit is to keep trying different forms and bras until you find something that works for you.

    I started with a professionally fitted silicone form, but I didn't find that it gave the right shape and fit. So I took a risk and ordered another silicone foam online and I was glad that it was just what I wanted. I also have a foam form and a microbead form, but the silicone still gives the best shape, though it's heavier. I also tried different mastectomy bras and there were a few which I liked and I bought a few more and in different colours.

    I thought black bras are quite discreet - others can't tell if it is a pocket edge or the bra, or if there's a gap between the bra and the chest.

  • Icantri
    Icantri Member Posts: 93
    edited May 2017
    It really is a trial and error for some of us. In the 6 months since my unilateral mastectomy in November 2016, I have bought more bras and forms than I care to admit. I just can't tell how it will work until I live with it for a while.

    Also, I have such issues with the skin being so sensitive. Some bras are fine but I get a rash after wearing them (it is not mets, they already biopsied the rash). And any little seam that isn't smooth drives me crazy, like a dog with fleas.

    I swim, too, so there's another situation I have navigated with various suits, prosthetics, etc. I am currently wearing a sports bra under a regular swimsuit. But I found that regular suits with bras in them can be sliced open to insert a breast form. I did that too until that suit got too big. This is similar to what Kicks said about using cheapie uplift bras (thanks for that idea! I didn't know about those. Although I did try some bralettes to use like a half cami but didn't like the lack of support for my natural side)

    Cheap ($20ish) silicone forms can be found on amazon, which is what I am using for swimming and sometimes runnng.

    So I need sports bras. I am trying to use my old regular ones with a knitted knocker but see above regarding skin troubles. Cheap silicone form slides around and gets sticky hot when sweating.

    LuckyNumber thanks for the tapes idea. I might try that when I really care about coverage.

    Anyone else having skin troubles where bras or knitted knockers rub?
  • Heidibird
    Heidibird Member Posts: 213
    edited May 2017

    I am another who had a UMX. Luckily my fitter was kind and very understanding of what I wanted. While I am a larger woman my cup size is typically an A or sometimes a B. She spent a lot of time with me after ordering several different bras and forms to see what would work as what they had on hand did not work. I ended up with an Amoena form too. I liked the look because it had a slight natural "drape(or droop) to it that my natural breasts had. I did not want the foob side standing up at attention when the other side could not get that perky no matter what I wore. I have to admit that I did not like the weight of the full silicone foob. After having it just a couple of weeks I went on the TLC website and ordered the one that was part silicone and part microbead. I do like the weight a lot better. Sometimes I wear the silicone one under certain clothes because it looks a little better. I found it interesting that the place I had mine fitted for charged $100 more than if I had ordered the same one from TLC's website. tsk tsk. I have tried several different types of bras and am still figuring out which are my favorites. I love TLC's return policy and when I have called to ask for information they have been very helpful.


    I like the cheapie bra from Walmart idea and will try that too. Thanks!

    I was told I should not use "just" a foam form all the time because the difference in the weight since I had a UMX might cause back problems down the road. When I am home lounging during the weekends I either put in my knitted knocker (and they do sometimes itch)or nothing at all.

    I do have a few tops that the mastectomy bras tend to show a bit from so I have ordered little semi-cami things to hook to the bra strap and seal off any peeking out. if anyone is interested I can give you the website where I bought those.

    ~Heidi

  • carmstr835
    carmstr835 Member Posts: 388
    edited May 2017

    Thanks everyone for your suggestions. I will try again on Tuesday. But your suggestions and posts validated my feelings, thanks for that :)


  • carmstr835
    carmstr835 Member Posts: 388
    edited May 2017

    Well, it didn't go well at all. She said she had ordered some bigger prosthesis, but she brought out the size 8 with a 42 D bra. 42 size 8 is a B cup, she told me it was a D. I just looked it up it is B cup, she lied. I thought it looked very small. I tried on my blazer, and it didn't look very good to me, however she said it looked great. I put on my t shirt and the material rode up my chest all wrinkled, I would have to keep straightening it all day long. I never had that issue before, I always filled out my T-shirts. I was 42 DD and 5'10". She informed me that if I didn't find anything I liked, I did not have to buy anything.

    However, after 10 minutes of trying things, she said that I had to decide if I wanted it. (she was 20 minutes late, and this appointment had lasted only 10 minutes.) I asked if I could think about it. I will call her, that this was the best so far, but I am not sure this is what I wanted at least not sure right now. They really don't fill out my clothes, I know they will be hot in the summer, and then I will have 5 weeks of radiation in September and something this heavy might not be what I am looking for. She informed me if I didn't buy anything now she was going to charge me personally for the fitting $52.00. My insurance company is supposed to pay for my prosthesis, I guess if your not happy, they charge you, not the insurance company, therefore they force you to buy them. $52 to me or $500 to the insurance company. That is black mail.

    I called my insurance company, and put in a complaint. They will investigate it. But the sad thing is, how many other women have they forced into buying these? And this is a Medical school type University Prosthetic clinic. I think they must be paid by commission. At least she sure seemed to believe this was her personal property and it was a lot of work for her to help me. My insurance only pays for 2 prosthetic breasts each 12 months, I would be stuck with these for a very long time, and if I am healthy next year, it would cost me my deductible that is pretty big, to get another pair in 12 months. Let's just say, I probably would not get anymore for quite a while.

    https://www.mastectomyshop.com/pages/Amoena-Breast...

    These forms she had there were this brand (amoena)... so these are the sizes she lied about. I saw the size 8 on the box. The bra was 42. I am thinking that is too big of a band on that bra as well for my chest that measures now 37 inches. I have no idea, I just know that I was not happy or comfortable and felt she was trying to force me to buy them.Taking advantage for sure.

    I also drove 2 1/2 hours each way to go to these 2 appointments, it isn't like I enjoy wasting my time. I never should have gone back today. I will learn not to trust my instincts.

    I hope no one else ever has to deal with this person, I will push the insurance investigation, not for me, but for everyone after me.

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited May 2017

    Carm, I would urge you to order some micro-bead forms for now, via the net. They are cheap, and you can experiment with sizes etc. They are also light and easy on your chest. They will stay put in those cheap stretchy bras they sell at drugstores. I too had poor experiences with the foob sellers, so you are not alone. Maybe we should start a foob shop.

  • GeorgiaRai
    GeorgiaRai Member Posts: 175
    edited May 2017

    Carm - nobody should be treated like that...and then to make you pay them for it?!!? I'm glad you filed a complaint, but I know that doesn't help you get what you need right now. I'm so sorry.

  • Heidibird
    Heidibird Member Posts: 213
    edited May 2017

    I too am outraged that a sister survivor was treated like that. Shame on that saleslady!

    We had 2 ladies in our town who went through BC treatment together two years ago and when they were done they opened a shop called TATAS for Now because they said it was so hard for them to find what they wanted and needed locally.

    ~Heidi

  • lrwells50
    lrwells50 Member Posts: 254
    edited May 2017

    Carmstr, where are you located? There is a place in Dallas called The Maddox Shop you might try if you are anywhere close.

  • carmstr835
    carmstr835 Member Posts: 388
    edited May 2017

    Irwells, I am in Michigan, 60 Miles north of Detroit.

    Momine, where can I get the bead forms? Can you send a website or company name?

    Thanks Heidi and Georgia for the support.

    I would like to not be quite so obvious about my mastectomies, I don't mind much when I am where no one knows me, but I am rather well known around here, and going from DD to nothing is definitely noticeable. So far I haven't gone anywhere without a coat on, but the day is coming when it will be way to uncomfortable to cover up so much in public, so I hope I can get by with those bead forms Momine was talking about.

    Cindy

  • GeorgiaRai
    GeorgiaRai Member Posts: 175
    edited May 2017

    I've never tried them, but I've seen them at TLC:

    TLC Direct

  • Heidibird
    Heidibird Member Posts: 213
    edited May 2017

    I have a bead form that I use for around the house on the weekends when I decide to put something in the bra. They are quite comfy. TLC is super great abut allowing you to return whatever you don't want or like.

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