More anxiety NOW after chemo and surgeries

Hey Bclibrary. Im sorry you are having a bad time. Now is the time to set up a lunch date with friends. Meditate or oray. Stretching and yoga. Swimming. Call a friend and gossip lol. Read a book. Go get a facial or a massage. Pamper yourself. Watch a comedy. Im sending positive vibes your way. Gentle hug

I have found most women are the most emotional after chemo and surgery ends and either en route to rads or going through rads. 

I remember feeling like I ran a marathon, but doing rads was like -- oh no, I'm not done.  More to go.  These are normal feelings.

You will get through them and then move on to other coping mechanisms. 

It is all hard, but you will find your way.

I am feeling the same way and am glad you posted because I almost started a similar thread myself. I am about 2 months out from finishing treatment--my crash has come in the last month, after finishing all treatment. I was so positive, strong and cheerful during treatment, and then in the last month I just lost it. Terrible anxiety, can't think about the future as I am afraid of the other shoe dropping, my own pathology was not very positive either. I was so surprised I feel like this after how strong I was the whole last year. It doesn't help that I was laid off from my job and I now have WAY too much time to think.

I reached out to other survivors in a local support group and was surprised to get a huge amount of responses reporting the exact same thing. I hadn't thought about it this way before, but most people said, you had to steel yourself to survive and get through the last year, and now it's over, you have time to let go and collapse and actually feel all you had to close off to get through the last year.

What was interesting to me is I work(ed) with domestic violence survivors and families in a housing program. The families would get there and finally be in a place of safety and yet the women often just collapsed in a puddle of anxiety and depression for about a month after. They would come to me in such distress and ask me why, when they were finally safe, were they experiencing such distress and immobility. I would tell them THE EXACT SAME THING my fellow survivors now tell me: you have TIME to experience your emotions. Before, you were in survival mode. And I would also tell them, there is nothing wrong with you, and you need to feel this in order to move on. I am trying to have the same understanding and empathy I had for them, with myself.

Every day, I have anxiety, fear, and sadness. Every day I have been getting up, exercising, reading, taking care of the house, looking for a new job, walking my dogs, doing my nails, meeting friends, etc. I want to just stay in bed and watch tv. But I keep moving despite my feelings. I think it is good for me, and I think I am going to just keep moving myself through this. And then I have days I do let myself just stay in bed, and that's OK! What we have been through is essentially a trauma, a terrifying experience. We have to let ourselves feel that, as awful as it does feel.

I am completely unashamed to rely on antidepressants and anxiety meds. They're helping me survive and filter out my extreme feelings and focus on healthy coping skills.

I hope some of what I said helps. I don't want anyone to feel like this, but in a way it has been a relief to me to know that this is normal and that so many other survivors experience this--because I know I'm not alone, we can support each other, and there isn't something wrong with me.

You're not alone. I'm sending you a virtual hug.

Take care,

Lindsay

I was recently diagnosed with breast cancerand have had one chemo treatment, I have terrible anxiety every time I visit the oncologist. My next treatment is April 26, 2017. I had a hard time sleeping last night due to anxiety of the treatment and my hair loss. Any help? Suggestions?

Cmurray, a LOT of us here have suffered with terrible anxiety during our whole treatment. I know I did. I finally had to bite the bullet and get my doctor to give me an anxiety medication. It was the only thing that really helped.

if you've tried everything else and nothing is working, don't be afraid to ask for help. Taking medication is not the easy way out. But it will certainly help you cope. And it's not forever.

Hi everyone, I was diagnosed a year ago and thought that I had pretty much cried a lake full of tears - but managed to carry on as you do. I am finding things really hard now as I approach my year anniversaries. I say in plural. The year since going to my GP with a lump, A year since by biospy, I have just had my annual mammography and now find myself waiting for results which pretty much makes me so anxious I cant concentrate on much else. This week it is a year since my diagnosis and so it goes on. Thankfully I have finshed Chemo and Radiotherapy but being triple positive I still have 5 herceptins to go and I have started on my years of Letrozole. I have lympdema which is under control. So I guess I should count myself as lucky to be here. I just wish those damn tears would stop.......I hate being sad..... I used to be a great planner and would you believe, for the first time in my life I have a couple of dollars in the bank - I have been told by my other half I can book a holiday anywhere I like and I cant as am waiting for results and I have a bloody pain in my neck that I need to get checked out first.

Sorry to whoever reads this as it is a bit woe me.

@lindzanne that was worded perfectly! I would have to agree we are in survival mode. And afterwords I don't think our minds can process what we've gone through! It's also hard to explain this ... because unless you have been through this it is so incredibly difficult explain to someone!!! know matter how supportive they are!! I keep telling myself to live in the PRESENT because that's what I should be doing, but I can't seem to manage it. Staying busy is the key ! But when it's hard to get out of bed in the morning ...staying busy becomes a challenge.

I haven't been on the site for awhile and saw this had some new posts as it was marked on my favorites. I've had some great months since I last posted but am really, really struggling this week. We lost a member of my local support group, she was so strong and healthy and then went so fast from bone mets. It happened a couple of weeks ago, and sent my anxiety through the roof. It also coincides with me trying to set up a follow up appointment with a new onco--I got a great new job in May with good insurance but the insurance company really messed up and didn't get my insurance going until 2 weeks ago so I am late for my follow up! And I loved my old oncologist but can't go to her because my insurance won't cover her and I don't WANNA switch! For some reason the follow up appointment is terrifying me despite having no tangible symptoms or concerns. I know it's from this woman dying----im back to thoughts of, it's just going to come back, what's the point? I hope someone still checks this thread, I could use some hugs and encouragement to get this appointment done and keep moving, and to see the value in it all. Hugs to all of you, too.

Good morning ladies. I'm so glad this thread got resurrected, as I suspect my emotions will be one of my biggest issues. I just had surgery last week and I'm waiting on my new pathology report to determine treatment plan. I'm trying to focus on healing and wellness right now. Knowing my emotions will most likely continue to flare at different times during this process helps, as I don't do well with the unknown. I'm a preparer, and I was totally unprepared for this whole ordeal. You can imagine how I handled that.

I've never taken mood stabilizers, but my doctor prescribed me some xanax before surgery. I was too afraid to take them and had planned to discard them, but maybe I'll hold off in that.

I'm sorry for your losses and fears, but I'm so thankful you're able to share with others. Have a wonderful day

Hi Everyone...it has not been easy!! I worry a lot! And, my psychiatrist has dx'd me with PTSD... I worry ALL the time and *hate* when my DH brings up "where we will live after retirement". Geez...I just hope I'm here - next year!! I have spent money that I don't have - because I keep thinking - oh well - I probably won't be here in the near future. But, then as the months go by, my spending is catching up with me...

Lindzanne and Helen - it is so good *seeing* your names on here...I too was dx'd and went thru treatment around the same time as you...sorry to hear you are feeling the way I am though!!!

Helen - my hair grew back curly and grey as well! It was already sort-of greying - but - always very thin and straight. I never really liked it before - as it was too thin and straight. Now I don't like it because it is wayyyy too curly and have an imbalance of more hair in back - than in front!

Sending (((hugs))) out to Everyone...

Hi, I am just curious if your anxiety has caused u to have a shaky feeling on the inside of your body? To explain it, the feeling I'm talking about is like if u drank too much caffeine feeling?

I have finished chemo and radiation. I am still getting Herceptin and will get hormone pills soon. I get scared and anxious because if I am not fighting it I think it will come back. I really don't want to live my life afraid that every twitch I feel is cancer.

I was so happy to see this thread & read through everyone's comments. It's helpful to know that once again I'm not the only with these feelings. I'll be two years from my diagnosis the end of January. My oncologist kept warning me about the potential depression & anxiety after treatment. But I kept pushing on, thought I was doing well. Until, this past checkup. I had to have an MRI. And that just triggered me. My anxiety has been high, some depression. I like others will be planning a future event & find myself stopping & thinking (what if I'm not here for that). Since that MRI, I've just had so much additional stress ~ my stepfather is stage 4 kidney/bladder cancer; a young cousin is stage 4 anal cancer; a member of a support group passed away; & another just found out she has a second type of cancer (not mets); the anniversary of my dad's passing; and almost two years since diagnosis. It just all got to me so much. So today I took my first Lexapro. That makes me anxious too. Yes so full of irony - taking a med that could potentially help my anxiety/depression caused me anxiety. 🤔

BC requires a time for grief afterwards. It teaches us that life can change on a dime and that scary. It's treatment is brutal. I think also though that it can teach us about our own strength and we need to try to remember we've gone through this to live. I mean really live. I have full on panicky moments worrying about reoccurrence but want to spend this precious life not worrying all the time. I don't want this BC DX to steal one more precious moment. In defiance I try each day not to be depressed. It doesn't always work but it's worth a try.