Has anyone here had a disasterous reconstruction?

I'm wondering if anyone has had similar experiences to me. I had a double mastectomy 3 years ago, after finding that I had breast cancer again, for the third unrelated time. I was offered an immediate reconstruction with implants on both sides. I hadn't given much thought to having reconstruction at the time, but expected that they knew what they were doing. It was decided that, because I had no pec major muscle on my right side, and had previous quadrectomy, that a latimus dorsi flap would be performed, as well as an implant, on that side. It was decided to reduce the size of the left, which had a previous lumpectomy, to match the right side. As soon as I saw my ''reconstructions" I was shocked. It was quite obviously a complete mess even straight after surgery.

Now, three years down the track, things are much worse because I have capsular contraction on both sides. My chest looks unbelievably hideous, and when I show people, they are shocked. And I'm suffering pain. I have read that the risk of capsular contraction is much higher in radiated breasts with implants, and both mine have had radiation. I'm now hoping for double deip flap surgery to give me some semblance of breasts, but I cannot afford to have it done privately, so I'm having to wait on the public hospital list. So sick of it all.