I WANT MY MOJO BACK!

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Hurry ~ This code expires 12-22-2016

Okay aparently the above QBC coupon didn't work.. here is a new one 12 percent off good til end of 12/25/16

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Hi ladies- bumping the thread and venting a bit. Looking for some survivor stories who got their mojo back.

longish vent/ramble:

I'm halfway through chemo and in full chemopause. So many helpful suggestions from the members! The vaginal dryness and increased difficulty in achieving orgasm (even when solo, much less with my husband), are frustrating. I've been using JO vaginal moisturizer everyday until I can find a better replacement. Unfortunately, coconut oil made me burn, so I'm a little hesitant to try olive oil- not sure what other sensitivities I have. I'll give the other recommendations on the sticky post a shot down the road! I also scheduled an appointment with a gynecologist, but most of them that I've seen so far are just concerned about keeping cancer and infection away from my ladyparts. I need someone who really cares about my sexual health. Maybe that someone is a psychiatrist since the brain is one of the biggest sex organs?, but I dunno.

I realized that in the journey of cancer treatment, the doctors don't tell you everything to expect because it's just too much to handle. I knew I'd be on Herceptin for the first full year, but no one told me that I'd be on Tamoxifen and otherwise kept away from estrogen given my ER/PR+ status for the foreseeable future.

Does one's lube function ever come back, post menopause/chemopause, or is estrogen really the accelerant that gets your glands and mucosal linings going?

I guess I'm looking for survivor stories and some hope - stories about survivors where their ability to get turned on and orgasm may have actually gotten better or just returned to pre-cancer levels...

My husband is very understanding and knows that my body is being hijacked by chemo, and we engage in other intimacy other than just PIV, but I've never faked orgasms with him, and I know that inside, my muted enjoyment diminishes his enjoyment as well.

/vent off

Apologies if I disappear for weeks on end. Have been pretty tired lately and trying to keep the career and household afloat in between the doc/treatment visits. Love to all.

anoncub- been still thinking about what you wrote, that you're keeping career and household afloat while receiving chemo. It's so much, all that your body has to do.
I'm sure that in time you will feel better. I didn't have chemo but I went back to work full time after MX and then worked through radiation. It took me a couple months to start getting energy back. Give yourself time and rest and rely on your kind DHs love and understanding to trust it will get better. Hugs.

Good for you, ClarkBlue, for being proactive. Tuning in to your body like you do is important, I think. For me, I feel like a few days to a week between intercourse allows time for healing. Any longer and it seems like I start to lose the progress I've made as far as comfort. As far as the four months, I'd say that things improved over a longer time than that, as I adjusted physically and psychologically, and found practical solutions as well. I purposely keep a schedule (without ever putting it that way to hubby); in other words I don't wait to be in the mood first.

Has anybody been on both an aromatase inhibitor and Faslodex, and did you notice any difference in comfort between the two? Things were better for me on tamoxifen than on the more recent aromatase inhibitor, and now I am hoping that on faslodex things will be a little better again. But then again, I had permanent chemopause happen just before starting the aromatase inhibitor.

Falconer- infinite hugs for you, my friend. Thanks for the pamphlet re-link! Yes, we are in similar situations. I'm not sure what kind of endocrine therapy I'll be on after the year of treatment, but it'll be until my body decides to stop producing estrogen, I guess. I'm trying to develop a better attitude about creams and maintaining/exercising the ladyparts and libido, but I harbor a lot of resentment towards it. The therapist says it's a good sign, since apparently I've moved from action and dealing with the cancer eradication to focusing on quality of life. Sigh. And I'm with ya- I was at the exercise, eat right and don't gain weight before b.c. struck.

ClarkBlue- thanks for sharing your tips and experience. It's encouraging to remind me to try to do all the maintenance stuff for my libido, even when I really don't want to.

Frill- I just ordered some HyaloGyn based on your suggestion! My MO said she'd consider writing me a script for estrogen cream, but wants me to exhaust other non-estrogen options first. Man, I can relate to what you said. I do enjoy time with my husband, regardless of my orgasms, but I get the sense that he is anxious about my mental state, not wanting to pressure me, etc. I've been trying to make myself feel sexy and desirable by putting on the full face of makeup and wearing the cute outfits I have (when not feeling the worst from treatment), but it's a lot of effort and my brain just won't SHUT UP about cancer, making it difficult for me to let go and just immerse myself in the moments.

I fluctuate between my heart breaking for us and then being pissed off beyond belief. But I will soldier on with you, fellow mojo warrior! I refuse to give up on orgasms! I mean, heck... at this point, I'm happy to give up chocolate, especially since my taste buds have been hijacked, but I'm not going to give up trying to get my mojo and orgasms back.

Hi All - new to this board, after visiting with my OB/GYN today due to painful intercourse. I wanted to be sure nothing else was going on - but it turns out I have a tear...and I just have to use it more. lol. I admit - it has been very difficult to be active since starting chemo last September. We were lucky IF we did it at least once/month. Doc says I need to do it more like 3/week...which after the last painful time - scares me terribly. Dryness doesn't seem to be the issue - but will use some of the silicone based ideas mentioned in previous posts, along with coconut oil. Difficult trying to get hubby on board - now that I have almost put HIM in atrophy! lol. But being that I am only 50 (and he is 55) we just have to figure out a schedule to be sure we don't 'lose it'. We still have a 12 year old at home - so that is also difficult finding alone time without a knock on the door asking us what we are doing. oy. Any other advice or suggestions to help me get through the pain...is there any position that will be less painful?

Kdtheatre, hands down best lube for us has been astroglide. Everything else has burned. I don't know about 3 times a week. We did it one week and it took me a week to recover lol.

nayda, - here is another board that is also helpful! https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/150/topics/826426?page=8#idx_217

Lucky-- 😂😂😂😂😂😂 brilliant!

Ty for the link anotherNYCGirl

MO prescribed Ritalin for my fatigue issue. At first the dose didn't do much, so we doubled it. Y'all, it's an amphetamine. After one week ... more sexy thoughts, (that is, from zero sexy thoughts a week to plenty every day), more energy just to actually undress (Femara, ugh), more lubrication, easier O's and definitely much better ones. 10x more effective than any coconut oil! Still a little insertion discomfort but we are both able to enjoy ourselves without having to stop for artificial lubrication, or having to stop because I hurt, or having to stop because I'm not going anywhere.

I'm totally surprised. And totally thrilled.

Sounds EXACTLY like a UTI.

I am confused. Why did the doctor prescribe Ritalin? I have some. My daughter has major ADD. Might try it but want to understand why this would work?

Leigh3232 are you looking for literature, pics or movies?