Sept 2012 chemo
Comments
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Jennie, any ideas? I think I am not doing enough other than staying fit but so easy to get apathetic. Sick of activities of daily living like cooking and cleaning too.
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It was really weird to me - I was doing ok, sorta carrying on, and suddenly hit a very tough spot. Lots of anger, sadness, just seemed to get "stuck in a rut". All I could think was "why now??" It was about a year since active treatment ended. Never thought it would happen that much later. I think it just took that long to sink in. Like I woke up one day and it hit me that all those docs lied to me, it's not going to get better, all that crap about "you will get back to normal".... "it just takes time".... blah blah, they are full of it. And I better get used to the "new me" because there's no going back. Trouble is, I don't like the new me, not one bit. No one warned me that I would never have full use of my arm again. That I would have pain. That I would get LE. That chemo would screw up my immune system. That tamoxifen would put 25 extra pounds on in one year. That I would not be able to sleep on my side anymore (I was a side sleeper, don't sleep well on back). It all just sucks. Hence the anger and sadness.
As far as any suggestions, well I actually started seeing a counselor. It is helping, I think. It's normal to feel that anger and to mourn all that we've lost, but we have to process it and work through it and she is showing me some ways to do that, and hopefully get "un-stuck".
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All our sisters in this thread are holding near to our hearts Sherbab (Sherri). She is in her final days of hospice care. We are deeply saddened.
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Thank you, Jo, for communicating between her family and us. so sad...
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Jo am thinking of her right now and so much appreciate that you keep us all in the loop, including Sherri.
Jennie I hope you are getting past some of that anger and sadness. I know I am finally climbing back up again and I suppose this could be metaphorically speaking too since I leave for Nepal to lead a trek in 6 days~~endorphins do wonders though I am sure there is more to it than that but I always feel better in the mountains. Not only that but I shed all home responsibilities~~that has to be a big positive for me.
Yesterday BCO published some shared experiences from around the world on a thread:
http://www.breastcancer.org/community/acknowledgin...
I added mine but it was so interesting to hear from people in places like Greece, Italy, UK etc.
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Sept 2012 chemo lost a sister today - Sherbab is an angel.
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So sad to hear that, prayers going out to her family.
This is the tough part of this wonderful community.
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Sadly, I have added Sherbab/Sherri's name to the BCO List of Angels. Thank you to jojo2373 for letting me know of her passing. My condolences to her family and all of her friends.
celia088
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To all the September Girls. The loss of Sherbab is a blow to her family and all of us.
"May your heart always be joyful, May your song always be sung, May you stay forever young"........Bob Dylan
Celia088, you helped me get through today. It's a sad day. Hugs to all.
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To my fellow Hotties: I know the loss of Sherri has had a big impact on us all; I'm still a bit numb from the news. As Jennie said, this is the tough part of this wonderful group. Sending hugs and prayers to you all. I am so honored to be part of this special family and love you all. xoxoxo -
I am so grateful for our Group~~it gives us strength but also so much support no matter what the situation. Hugs to all.
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3 years ago we started, so blessed with BCO and these ladies! Our friendship continues today, on earth and with our angel.
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Three years ago I was finishing up chemo the end of February and starting radiation soon after. About two months ago I began to get my energy back, and I am still here. This group kept me going when the going was rough. Hope all will check in with a progress report. We all regret the loss of Sherbab. Hugs to all
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It's hard to believe we will be having our 4 year DX anniversary soon. I will be dealing with hormonal therapy aches and pains for 7 more years, but will continue to keep cancer away. Not a day goes by I am not thankful for all the ladies in this group!
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Hi everyone!!! Love you all! Thinking of you Kelley B!!
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It's been 4 years for us - thinking of Kelley B and remembering Sherbab.
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Just checking in. Love you all xo.
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Wow, here we are again Neta69! Love you! Who else will notice?
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Always here and with you all......
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May you all be living life to the fullest. Love to you all.
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Does any of our starting group of 60 in September of 2012 come here any more or is it only Facebook? This group kept my spirits up for a very difficult year. I have been so grateful to breastcancer.org for all the useful information I found on the website. I still check in every few months. Remember we are going to have an onweb reunion after 5 years from what date? I'm doing fine. Hope all of you are. Cheers
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Cindi, as you can see, it is mainly FB. Many of us remain connected that way and I for one am grateful for the original group. I even see our Canadian sisters and in June will be a close neighbour of one in Victoria, BC. Meanwhile as I see from your recent FB posts, that you check FB out once in awhile. I think I am second oldest after you but have not had the secondary issues to deal with.
Hugs, Marian
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I still check in here almost weekly. There are several other groups i follow, but this is the one that provided me with the most support and friends for life.
I love the idea of an online reunion for our 5 years. I will propose it on FB....surely we can do a live chat as far as technology has come in 5 years.
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It is one of my Favourites so when I check BCO it shows up and I also check weekly.
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Still looking at the sod from the green side.
Is there someway we could set up an on line group meet sometime in September? Wish all would check in. I do check Facebook occasionally. Will mention this to the Hotties.
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Hi Cindi! I asked about you on our Hottie Google Sunday before last and good to see you. Emily Heck organized it and though I was half an hour late due to figuring it out, it was really fun. Teresa from NY also had same problem but with emails we got her on too and went over the hour~~no surprise.
Marian
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5 years and counting..
I wish i had known how having cancer was going to change my life. A few silver linings, but alot of hurt, pain, and ongoing challenges. A class should be offered upfront to level set the emotional changes upcoming too. I know we felt "turned out to the masses" without a plan. Thankfully we had each other.
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Cindy - I believe I am one of the 60 that was in that group of 2012 . Today is exactly 5 years ago since my diagnosis of IDC. I am still around - getting on with living - travelling lots and generally very healthy.
Sorry to hear about your uterine cancer - that truly sucks - but so glad that you are recovering from the further chemo and surgery. Take care of yourself.
I don't know about the facebook page - is it open to me - if so, how do I go about joining.
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Adagio, I will ask about our FB group~~Cindi is not often on
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I'm starting my Chemo in September. Don't have a date for the infusion party but am getting my port put in on Sept 11th. Horrible day to have a port put in my opinion. Thursday Aug 31st I go in to get my tonsils removed. The PET scan found a small mass in my right tonsil. My EnT wants it out ASAP so they can biopsy it and see what it is. I hope it didn't spread that far. Except for my right breast and lymph nodes lighting up like a Christmas tree and the tonsil the scan showed all clear.
I'm debating having my parrots farmed out while I recover from the tonsil surgery. Not sure if I'm going to do that though. I kind of need my babies.
Not going to lie...I'm pretty terrified. So much going on all at the same time
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