Stage 1 and struggling

Hi Kathy. I certainly felt like that. After 4.5 years my anxiety is still high sometimes. Just this morning I had a total meltdown about Windows10. I'm not sure, but I think Tamoxifen increases my anxiety.

What have I done that helps? Well, I mentally tell myself, "ok, let's go over the stats." When it come down to it, our odds are really good. I know, I know there are exceptions, but there is no reason to believe you or I will be one. I do rely on Effexor to even me out, and early on I was on Klonopin for a full year.

In the end I have accepted that what will be will be. It took a long time to get there. One wonderful doc said acceptance might take a year, even two. Such truth in that statement.

Exercise help. Avoiding sugar helps me. The other thing I used to ask myself was "Am I going to die today? NO. Then live today."

I belong to a rowing club for Breast cancer survivors, and one of our members just celebrated her 69th birthday, and she's a 22 year survivor. Remember that many women complete their treatment and never come back to these boards. You only hear stories about women with recurrence because they are the ones coming back for support

Hi Kathy, I know I struggled with these very same questions and especially at six months out. I remember feeling a swollen gland and having a cough not too long after my third and final surgery and was in a panic thinking it had already spread. It does get a bit easier as time goes by and I don't obsess about it like I used to but I think it's something we just learn to live with. Honestly, I sometimes ask myself why I still visit these boards because isn't that just a reminder to think about cancer? But I do because if my thoughts can help one scared person, it makes me feel like something good has come out of this crappy ordeal. Someone questioned why I didn't push for chemo, because I had a grade 3 tumor but a low oncotype score and I had a total meltdown that took long conversations with a nurse navigator to diffuse. I just try to not to worry about tomorrow. Chances are good that you will put this behind you and you'll live a long healthy life. Hugs to you

Hi,

Just want to add that worrying and stress is bad for your health. Focus on everyday life, take a long walk in the Park, spend 10 min a day on a free meditation on a cell app Like headspace.

You can do things to prevent recurrence:

Limit your drinks to 3/week or less

Exercise 3 times a week (check free programs for cancer survivors at the YMCA)

Walk everyday

Eat Mediterranean diet

You have an EXCELLENT prognosis!!!! People who have breast cancer return, stage one, usually have bigger tutors, and/or involved node(s), or are triple negative or are her2+....none of which you are. AND a low oncotypeX! Time to celebrate. Yes, you will have down times. Expect that. But your chances of going stage 4 are very minimal.

Hi all, I'm struggling with stage 1b. I had two small tumors in same side 2 mm and 4 mm with additional DCIS around. Also had small DCIS on right. I was first told stage 0 bf surgery. I didn't meet guidlines for chemo but Dr recommended it. I've done 3 cycles of 4 and ready to stop. I don't hve support at home and hve 3 kids. I'm always stressed out and go to treatments alone.

I do hve some side effects like pain in muscles and some numbness in feet. MO said to stop if numbness in hands and feet occur. My local MO doesn't seem concerned.

My question is has anyone stopped treatment ??

I think it's not all that unusual for us to feel more anxious after treatment is finished, for all of the above reasons. When we're going through the treatments, it's all we can do to just keep going, let alone think about the future.  In fact, I have read on this site that as many as 80% of people diagnosed with breast cancer will go on to have some degree of PTSD.  I fall into that category.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2015.  In the last 12 months I have had 2 lumpectomies, a bout of sepsis, 4 rounds of chemo, diagnosed with 2 gene mutations, and had a BMX.  I held up very well through the whole thing, until I suffered severe tissue necrosis and lost half of what was left of my right chest and a huge 6cm seroma of the left side. It was so horrible I could hardly even look at it, and I've been a nurse for 39 years!  I went into a deep funk---I could hardly bathe & dress, or even get off the couch. I was totally uninterested in reading, watching TV, going to a movie, going to church, or even going out for ice cream. My DH was frantic with worry. Thankfully, he got me to a doctor and she diagnosed me with PTSD immediately. She put me on an antidepressant (Lexapro) which also has some anti-anxiety properties. She also gave me something to help me sleep, because I had hardly slept from the day of surgery. Within 2 weeks I felt like myself again, even though the wound healing still struggled along for a total of 16 weeks. 

I'm 7 months post-BMX now. I'm off the sleeping med and weaning off the Lexapro. Both meds helped tremendously. I never went in for talk therapy for this because I had a pretty good handle on my feelings.  Your mileage may vary.  I find that it helps me to not think too far into the future.  Three-four months is about my limit.  If I find myself perseverating on things farther out that, I just have to shut it down.  I get busy with housework, or doing something for someone else. Anything but allowing those intrusive thoughts to take over and bog me down.

I strongly recommend that anyone who has feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, lack of interest, or unreasonable sadness for 2 weeks or more should talk to their doctor. You may have depression, anxiety, or PTSD (or all three), all of which are treatable conditions.  You don't have to suffer through it.

KathyL642 - our stats are very similar. I think the way you feel and the anxiousness is normal. I felt the same way too. It will get better with each appt and annual exam. This October is my 5 year anniversary. I still worry if I think too much about the what ifs, but I try not to let my mind go there. Hang in there!

Hi, my diagnosis sounds almost identical to yours. Bilateral mastectomy, Stage 1A, no nodes involved, no chemo or radiation, oncotype score 3, ER/PR positive. I was diagnosed in May 2014 and have been on Arimidex since then. I have side effects(joint and muscle pain) and have also developed osteopenia and an area of almost osteoporosis. Just had my first injection of Prolia yesterday. The first year seemed to be the most worry filled. I still sometimes have days where I am filled with worry and dread. Those days are getting further apart. I realize that I am very fortunate and the potential for recurrence is low. In a lot of ways my diagnosis opened up new things for me. Things and experiences that I probably would have not done or put off for the future. I bought a horse! I ride 3-4 days a week. It brings me great joy and I am more fearless than I was before my diagnosis.

I hope things will get easier for you! You have done everything possible to rid your body of bc and you are in treatment with tamoxifen. My neighbor has a long term survival story. She was diagnosed in 2002. Lumpectomy, radiation and 5 years of tamoxifen. She is active and healthy in her early 70's

Wishing you the best!

I have decided, one year out, not to let any opportunities pass me by. Every time I wonder “what if I suck at it” or “what if I don’t like it” I kick myself and just do it. Opening myself up to new experiences has been a lifesaver---well, a mind-saver--for me.

positive, I would do what you feel is the right treatment for you. I was 53 and had an oncodx of 34 er+ pr - and her2- I didn't do the chemo recommended and I did as much AI therapy that I could. I am 58 and off all medicine and feel good. No sign of cancer, I am enjoying my life and happy I went with my research and gut instinct. If you feel good life is good.

If you feel better doing chemo than do it. There is no right answer.

Hey there:

I have multifocal breast cancer. Last time, I had stage 3A with 2 positive nodes, ER+/PR+ her- and 7 CM tumor. I really thought I was toast and I think my oncologist did too. But 13 years later, I have not recurred. Believe me, it took me years to crawl out of the anxiety and depression and fear of every ache and pain being the end of me. I had all the guns thrown at me - mastectomy, chemo, radiation, hormone therapy, oophorectomy. I think I had PTSD because I walked around in terror that my life was about to end for many years.

I was dx with stage 1 multifocal breast cancer on the other side this Jan 2017. It is not a recurrance of the old cancer, but a new cancer on the other side. In hindsight, I wonder if I should have had a prophlyactic mastectomy on the this side years ago. But it is what it is. Do I have a return of the anxiety now? Yes and no. I am in limbo waiting for the full pathology report and if I will need chemo. Before my recent mastectomy, I was told I would not need chemo or radiation. But now, after surgery, this has changed likely. The waiting is torture to know what treatment I will need. This gives me anxiety because I know what I am facing if I need the full gamut of treatment. On the other hand, I have learned how to manage the fear of recurrance so I feel "experienced" and I think with some anti anxiety drugs I am good to go.

I have learned thru all this you do need to focus on living your life for YOU one day at time. I think of other people I have known who are told they have esophegeal cancer and die three months later, or lung cancer and die 6 weeks later. This past summer, my neighbor literally had a fatal heart attack right in front of me. So I realize now life is fragile and no one knows when their time is up. No one. It can happen anytime. So I feel sort of grateful that I have breast cancer and my prognosis is not as bad as dying in three months. I want to live until I am old and grey. But I don't want grippling anxiety to stop me from enjoying the time I do have. Easier said than done. But this time, if I do get that anxiety, I will get treatment so I can get on with it. Thats my plan anyways.

Hugs to you and know that with stage 1 BC, your prognosis is excellent.

wallan

Wallan, thanks so much!!! I needed this today and prayers for great news!!!

Love it!!! I'm changing my attitude to "SO WHAT!" 😁. Reminds me of a saying that helps me also. We can't always change a person or situation, we can only change the way we react to them!

Wallan, thank you for your posts and "the golden rules..." I'm trying to get a handle on my anxiety.