Anyone come out better than they were before?

loribee,

I am stage IV and have been for the past 5 1/2 years. I can't deny the physical changes cancer has brought with it, but my life is pretty darn good. I work full time, travel and enjoy time with family and friends. Just got back from a professional conference in Palm Springs and had a great time. While true that my breasts will never come back, I will always have to deal with mild lymphedema and my meds make my joints ache (if I am sedentary), I am alive and happy. What more could I ask for, besides a cure? Take care.

I think this is probably true for a lot of people who undergo some kind of major health change. My husband became fully disabled with heart & lung disease about 12 years ago.  He has had many hospitalizations, even open heart surgery and prostate cancer (the same year I had breast cancer, too!).  Although he has a great attitude, never complains, and tries to get something accomplished every day, it doesn't change the fact that his health has taken a severe hit. Every year I see him lose a little more ground. He will very likely never be better than he is today. 

I had breast cancer in 2015. It's been a rough go at times. I, too, had hoped to get my health in order, lose the weight, blahblahblah, with mixed results.  My MENTAL health is as good as ever (with a little help from my friends Seroquel, Trazadone, and Remeron).  My physical health is stable.  I have pretty bad chemo brain 15 mo PFC and I'm not sure it's ever going to go away. 

One thing that has surprised me is my reaction to work.  I've been an RN for 40 years, which is a looooong time in nurse-years.  In the last few months I have found that I daydream a lot about retiring.  I don't know if this is a result of the breast cancer struggle, DH's battle with advance stage prostate cancer, or my mother's long decline from kidney failure and dementia. I just feel overwhelmed and a bit burnt out.

What breast cancer took from me is my blissful ignorance.  Not that I've lived a charmed life. I've had plenty of bad stuff happen. But none of it affected me quite like breast cancer.  I went from not thinking about breast cancer AT ALL to thinking about it every day for the last 2 years. I don't perseverate on "what if it recurs" or "maybe I'm gonna die from this" but I definitely think about the breast cancer experience every day. That's what breast cancer has taken from me.  The ability to go through a day without even thinking about cancer.

Im not sure im better, per se, than I was pre-cancer....except one major thing-now I dont have cancer! Which is totally worth a few aches and pains. I did take up rock climbing and yoga which has been great physical therapy. 4 months post treatment, I ran my fastest half marathon ever. I thinl it has to do with just not caring about pain anymore.

Lady here at work, mid 40s, was diagnosed approx 7 years ago. Got the "you have breast cancer" phone call as she about about to start teaching her Zumba class. Said "Ok - time to fight" and proceeded to teach her class. She is still a Zumba/Body Pump/Beach Body instructor and continues to kick much ass.

I think it is important to be honest about which aspects of physical impact could be the result of normal aging, slowing metabolism, etc., and which might be attributed to cancer treatment. I had fatigue, and aches and pains prior to diagnosis, all normal age related stuff. I was diagnosed at 54, had 6 rounds of TCH, then continued Herceptin for the year. I did not have radiation but did experience skin healing issues and reconstruction complications that resulted in 15 additional surgeries after bi-lateral mastectomy and a separate complete axillary clearance surgery. Am I physically as good as I was pre-cancer? The short answer is no, but if you met me you would never know that I have had even one surgery - I look just fine. Nobody guesses my age, and I look healthy because I am. I am in the gym working on strength improvement now that I am done with surgery, and I am proud of my progress. I don't know if I will attain pre-cancer fitness, but I am also 6 years older - I have to factor that in as well. I have been on BCO for a long time and I know there are definitely people here who have changed their lifestyle and lost weight, even large amounts, after diagnosis and treatment, it can definitely be done. I think treatment can make it somewhat harder but if you are determined, it is achievable. I participated in a study with the University of South Florida right after I finished chemo - I still had expanders and was in a wig. This study was focused on Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction and was super helpful in showing me that I can't change yesterday, can't control tomorrow, I only have the moment I am currently living in. This helped me release a lot of worry, about the past and the future - all I can do is prepare physically and mentally, but I can't control what may happen. Like kcat above, I am more chill now and definitely don't sweat the small stuff. I also learned to say no more easily, I was more of a pleaser pre-cancer - I waste less time doing things I don't really want to do. I am very happy with my life situation - love my family, they have been super supportive. I have great friends who all stood by me without exception, and I have deepened relationships with many. I was happy before cancer, and I am happy now, but I had already seen the impact cancer can have - how unfair it is, and knew how short life can be. I had lost my dad to stage IV cancer, but also lost my brother, diagnosed two years before me, to a rare bile duct cancer. I knew before I was told I had cancer that appreciating my life, every day, is important, and that the only time you are guaranteed is right now. In an answer to your other thread about chemo and cognition, I will answer here - I also participated in a study with the University of Illinois regarding cognition post treatment, and received my scores after the study was complete in the testing process. I scored better than most post-menopausal women who had not been diagnosed with or treated for cancer. I do not feel that chemo specifically had any effect on my cognition, other than making me tired and meh feeling during the process - I still did the same tasks during chemo and afterward as I did before. I did take a leave from work during chemo, not so much because I couldn't perform my job, but because I had five surgeries in the 14 weeks prior to starting chemo and the job was in a bio-hazardous patient care environment. I returned 30 days after the last chemo, while I was still on Herceptin. I feel as capable now as I did before being diagnosed with cancer, but I feel more mentally and emotionally prepared to deal with what life may hand me, and I feel lucky to be here.

I"m still in the midsts of my treatment, but I have a close friend who went through all this about 6 years ago and she is definitely in better shape physically then she was before! She became mentally tougher and physically in the best shape of her life...she had chemo, double mastectomy, hysterectomy (all as a single woman) she had some setbacks along the way...but came out better then ever all these years later!

It is possible!

Good luck moodyblues. Will be praying for you. I just had my bilateral MX on 22/2 and feel far better than in the two weeks before the surgery.

My inspirations are my aunt who was diagnosed at 39 with Stage3b when she had 3 young kids, one who was in the middle of several ortho surgeries. She battled the mastectomy, RT and chemo 13 years ago and survived with a smile despite the obvious chemo and radio side effects at the time. She's as beautiful as ever, exercises regularly, dances, has a fulltime and part time job, and as she puts it "has lived to tell the tale" and feels none the worse for it. She came to my wedding one month after her mx and 6 weeks after having finished coadjuvant chemo, and was the best looking at the party!

My second inspiration is my bestie who was diagnosed with idc 2 and a half years ago and had the works....bilateral Mx, Rt, chemo and breast recon. She's had a total makeover, looking better, exercising daily, and lost weight. True after surgery, it takes time to recover your arm strength, and she admits it hasn't returned to normal, her nails got a battering and tamoxifen gives some aches and pains. But she's there surviving and encouraging other people that it's doable and worth it!

Finally my mum was diagnosed with advanced ca at a time where chemo was just cyclo and 5fu; so without Adriamycin and Taxotere she probably didn't stand a chance. Still she lived her life to the full. The day I broke the news that she had liver mets she cooked a dinner for twenty people. Less than 2 months before she left us, she went for a three week holiday abroad, and in one of our last conversations she told me that if she were to be reborn she would choose to live her life exactly as she had done.

I'm glad I found this bco as its great to feel that I'm not alone.

And yes LoriBee while the going is tough, you can make it as so many survivors can testify. And while you cant predict what side effects you will experience there's a lot of people who will be around not only to support you emotionally as on this page but also in practical things. What I have learnt from my 3 inspirational women in my life is not to refuse help, as it does make a difference.

Thanks to all for your support and sharing your stories. It helps so much.

Accept all help now gratefully and know that someday you will 'pay it backwards' and be of help to others when they need it.

My biggest inspiration was my aunt, who was diagnosed with BC in the 1960s (when she was in her 50s). She went through, what we would now consider, pretty brutal treatments; but came out on the other side and lived a full and interesting life, dying at the age of 88 without ever having a recurrence. I wear an amethyst ring she gave me almost every day (and to every doctor appointment for 'good luck').