My girlfriend may be having a breast cancer reccurrance?

azuritejason,

What makes you say that you believe she is "experiencing a recurrence of her bc"? Not sure I can provide you any advice there without a better understanding.

as counterintuitive as it might sound, does she have a therapist? if so, that person could listen to your concerns and might know how to approach this. If not, what kind of relationship does she currently have with her Mom? Could you talk to her? Is there anyone else she is close to? I'd start there.

Good luck!

You are obviously a very caring friend, and this is a good place to find support. I cannot know what your friend is experiencing, but perhaps she is just going through what we all have to face. One test or another is worrisome or inconclusive and our heads start spinning as we wait, only to find out it was nothing. Maybe she doesn't want to be an alarmist and is just waiting for the all clear before addressing it. This "limbo" can be a rough time.

Even if the opposite is true, it is her choice how she deals with it. I had a friend diagnosed a year earlier than me. I could see the signs that she was back in the dragon's mouth, but she denied it when I asked her, so I just made it subtly clear that I was there for anything she needed. But she told no one and worked until the time she was hospitalized for the last time.

Bottom line, it may be impossible to make educated guesses, and you probably won't influence your friend just because you want her to open up. She will have to make that decision. Just let her know that you are there for her, and let her decide the path she wants to take. It may be easier on her not to have to face it, although it may be harder on you. That's where your support comes in. You may have to do it her way because she gets to call it.

I wish you both the very best, and I hope your concerns are unfounded.

I've worked in psychiatric facilities and you're right about the abuse having lasting effects on her. That is a very common outcome. It's probably PTSD, but there are also some personality disorders that often accompany it . Those are very difficult to deal with. There's a website called psychcentral.com and they have an online support forum for people like yourself. It's a great resource for those in relationships like yours. I'm not trying to diagnose her so please don't interpret it that way. I'm only trying to validate your thoughts on that topic. You sound like a wonderful person to care so much about someone struggling like this. All to often, people will abandon others dealing with it.

I have the same questions in the previous replies. What makes you think she's had a recurrence?