Round and round and round we go....right side pains

aggiemegs · March 2017

I will first start by apologizing, as it seems the only time I ever post here is when I have gotten myself so worked up that I feel like I have nowhere else to turn. I know you all understand this merry-go-round/roller coaster. I don't want my already worried husband to ride it with me, and I don't want to be seen as "the girl that cried wolf" by my friends as I go through these periods of worry, only to have it be nothing. So here we go again.

A few weeks ago, I started having EXTREMELY sharp stabbing pains on my right side, just below my ribs. On a scale of 1-10, I'd say it was a 7-8. These pains were scattered over a few days, with no rhyme or reason to them, and they usually lasted about 1-2 minutes. (I keep a symptom tracker notepad on my phone, so I can always look back and reference when and what) Some of these pains were so excruciating that I seriously considered asking my husband to take me to the hospital, but before I could get to that point, it would disappear. So I haven't even mentioned the pain to him. Between the stabbing pains, there has been a pretty constant dull ache in that area that has yet to go away. I didn't call my doc, because I already have my next regular checkup scheduled for tomorrow, so I'm just waiting to talk to her then. The last extremely sharp pain I had was on 2/28. Until today. Now it's happened 2-3 times again today.

Logically, I've spent the last 2 weeks searching the forums for right side rib pain, and have myself with one foot in the grave, since it obviously means I have liver mets, duh. To be honest though, I actually noticed that about 50% of the people with this issue seem to have it be a fatty liver, ulcer, or absolutely unknown cause, and the other 50% end up with extensive liver mets. So I guess only time will tell. Part of me is relieved that I have an appointment tomorrow, so I can finally talk to my doc about this, part of me is scared to mention it (I'm so bad about that!), part of me is terrified she won't be worried at all, and will tell me it's nothing to worry about, and another part of me is scared to death that she will order tests. (That's a lot of parts!) I honestly don't know what I'm hoping for right now. Well, yeah, I guess I do. I'm hoping for an answer. And I know I'm not going to get an answer tomorrow, so there is more waiting ahead. And I have a work trip coming up in a week and a half, so I'm not sure if I want an answer before or after that, lol. I'm a wreck. I am failing miserably at my job right now, because I can't focus anything on this....just like in the beginning when I was first diagnosed. I just know something is wrong, and I want to know what it is and just how wrong it is.

Thanks for letting me have a safe place to vent my fears and worries. I wish I had a real live person I could do this with, but it's silly to make anyone else stress this much with me! I hope you're all having a great week!

aggiemegs · March 2017

Oh yeah, forgot to add...this week, I've worked from home twice now, because I'm so stressed about this that I can't drag myself out of bed in the mornings. I'm so incredibly exhausted constantly (I took a 5 hour nap on Saturday - I NEVER nap), and my BP has been in the toilet this week. I'm falling apart, people!

Freya244117 · March 2017

Hi megs, you have an appointment, so thats a good start. Make sure you tell your Dr everything you wrote here. The waiting is always hard, but it is what it is and we just have to learn to cope with it. Best wishes.

ShetlandPony · March 2017

Aggiemegs, worrying and wondering is the hardest thing. Do tell your doctor your symptoms and also how the worry is interfering with work. She should order a scan, and right away so you don't have to continue worrying. You are right, it could be various things other than mets. Gall bladder trouble comes to mind. Even if it is mets, it would be better to know, stop wondering, and take action.

wallycat · March 2017

I'm so sorry you are dealing with a worry. I hate when I get worked up because it is a helpless feeling.

Don't forget that it could easily be a pulled muscle, pinched nerve and even gallstones.

aggiemegs · March 2017

Thanks so much everyone. It's always nice to know I'm among friends here.

Shetland - Because of my triple negative status and lack of pcr, my MO and I decided to try 8 rounds of Xeloda, modeled after the very successful Japanese CREATE-X study. It helped add disease-free years and increase overall survival for triple negative patients without a pcr. I finish up Xeloda this month, which is probably contributing to my anxiety, since I will soon be done actively and/or pro-actively treating this beast.

aggiemegs · March 2017

Just left my MO. She was concerned for sure, and had me scheduled for a CT in 5 hours. Terrified, but ready to know something

ShetlandPony · March 2017

Ok, aggiemegs. Hang on and you will have more information soon. Did you mean that your scan is today? Your onc ordering the CT does not necessarily mean she thinks it is cancer, just that for someone with a history of bc, ordering a scan right away is the appropriate thing to do. I'm waiting with you.

(I see you read my question about why Xeloda before I edited it out. I did a bit of research and found the answer that you gave above.)

aggiemegs · March 2017

Shetland - Yes, scan is today at 4:40pm CST, so I should have results either tonight or tomorrow. At least it's not going to be dragged out anymore! She ordered CT of chest, abdomen, and pelvis, just to capture the whole area and not miss anything. Fingers crossed for a junky gallbladder or fatty liver, lol

aggiemegs · March 2017

Had my CT. He let me look at the images, but I have no clue what I was seeing, lol. He said I should have results tomorrow, so yay! The wait is nearly over

Falconer · March 2017

Holding you in the light, Aggiemegs.

KBeee · March 2017

Hoping your Scan results are clear. I get severe pains like that on my right side since chemo. I finally bar towed it down yo consuming dairy. I never had problems with it prechemo

aggiemegs · March 2017

All clear! I do still have a gallstone (same one from 2015), but nothing looked inflamed or anything, so she's not sure of the cause of my pain, but I'm happy with an all clear scan, for sure!!

TizzyLish · March 2017

HOORAY! I've been following this thread very closely. Your description of fear, and not wanting to worry your loved ones, fear of mentioning things to your doc, fear of NOT mentioning things to your doc, fear of scans, fear of knowing the truth, fear of NOT knowing the truth, all hit very, very close to home. I could've written every word. Thank you for expressing what's been in my head for a long time. I have a u/s recheck of a palpable area of alleged fat necrosis in my prophylactic side next week. Part of me is sure it's really fat necrosis. Part of me is filled with full-on terror.

I wish I could better handle the anxiety about recurrence. Sometimes I feel like it will drown me.

Scwilly · March 2017

I am so happy to hear you have gallstones - though that sounds crazy!- I was in your position last October and I too have been following your post . I didnt want to join in myself because as you will see form my streamlines and didn't want to scare you. I wish you well and speedy solution and treatment for you pain.

Sarah