Biopsy today after 13 years NED help!

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  • Ridley
    Ridley Member Posts: 634
    edited February 2017

    hey Wallan, sorry to hear your boss and HR are being difficult. I'm not sure where you are in Canada, but I would find either a Wellspring centre or the social worker at your hospital to have a discussion with. What your work is doing doesn't sound right. I didn't read all of the replies, so this may have been mentioned, but make sure you document all the conversations you have with you boss and HR.

    Good luck

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Well I am overwhelmed by everyones responses now.

    Thanks so much. I guess I am not over reacting.

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  • bevin
    bevin Member Posts: 1,902
    edited February 2017

    so glad that you are doing what is right for you and not being influenced. It amazes me an HR rep would say these things to you. Pray you tx is easy on you and tough on your cancer. Keep us posted.

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Hey ladies:

    I saw a lawyer. The law says a company can get rid of you anytime they want actually as long as they give you enough notice and its not during the short term disability. If they do let you go after you return from short term disability, you can take them to the human rights tribune and sue for discrimination and also negotiate a bigger severance package. You do have to prove your employment termination is tied to the short term disability somehow. So you need to document everything. The lawyer said unfortunately, discrimination can be hard to prove.

    In my case, I was told it looks like discrimination, but I need to document it all. If I can get HR to admit what they said to me in writing, I have proof.

    I also found out I have two weeks full pay sick time before I go on shortterm disability. Its actually written in my contract. The HR lady told me as of the day of my surgery, I am no longer on the payroll and will not receive any pay. She said I have no "sick days" at all. I am only to deal with the insurance company. And the insurance company needs to assess if I am able to work to approve it. I feel like she told me I am scamming the company for time off or something. Legally they have to pay me for the two week sick time the lawyer said. So I could sue for this pay as well.

    This is all new to me. Last time I had BC, I never had any of these issues.

    Also, I told my boss in confidence about BC and the whole friggin company knows now.


    Nice, huh?


    But I am now thinking of moving forward and forgetting all this stuff. SNB surgery is Friday and I need to focus on getting better.

    If I lose my job, so be it.

    wallan


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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited February 2017

    I am so sorry that you are dealing with allnofvthatvred tape at work. Hoping you can focus on healing. Best wishes for a speedy recovery after your surgery

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited February 2017

    Wallen - I don't know where you live, but it is obviously in a "right to work" state. If so, yes you can be terminated any time for any reason. Hope you are documenting because you may be eligible for unemployment insurance also if they don't terminate you "for cause". And you can fight that too. But yes, you can also sue if you think you have a good enough case.

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Hey everyone:


    Thanks again for your support. I am moving on from work stuff. Its time to focus on my treatment. I cannot wait now to get things going.

    I am starting to feel less overwhelmed, and more optimistic. I'm thinking i can do this cancer treatment!

    wallan

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Hey everyone:

    My SNB surgery is now behind me. I didn't turn blue. LOL. My pee did.

    I get results Feb 21. Ten days....

    I am kind of hung over from the anathesia today. My pain is actually mild though. I did take oxycodone for pain and this made my stomach hurt and I felt kind of sick on it. So I am not going to take it. I can take tylenol.

    Tomorrow, I am visiting with family and getting my mind off the whole thing. I am trying to not wallow, if you know what I mean.

    I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon on Monday for a consult about reconstruction. I am looking forward to what they will say.

    i will keep you posted .....

    wallan

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited February 2017
    I'm sorry you have to wait so long for the results. Take care of yourself and enjoy your family visit. ((( Hugs)))
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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited February 2017

    Wallen, I have some idea of how you feel. I was forced into early retirement I think because I took a month off for reconstruction surgery. But many others were being laid off at the same time. My company was trying to get rid of expensive experienced engineers. I am glad in a way to be free to enjoy my life.

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Hey ladies:

    The date for my mastectomy is now confirmed - March 8th. I did see a plastic surgeon for reconstruction who initially told me I could have immediate reconstruction the day of mastectomy on the left side. And she could start reconstruction on my right side (because last time I had a mastectomy and did not get reconstruction). The plastic surgeon had an awesome attitude too.

    Now, she just called me and told me I cannot have immediate reconstruction afterall because the breast surgeon and her looked at my scans again and they will not be able to save my nipple or enough skin to create a flap for the implant for reconstruction.

    So... that means delayed reconstruction.

    And it raises alarm bells in my head. What am I truly facing here? As if my anxiety and despair wasn't heightened enough. I am still waiting for results from the SNB too... that comes in on Feb 21.

    Last time I had breast cancer, I had surprises after surprises. First they told me when they look at my mammogram and ultrasound that i only had a cyst and it was not cancer. I requested a biopsy. Then when they biopsed the cyst it was a 3 cm tumor and they didn't get clear margins. So then I had another surgery and they did a mastectomy because the tumor was another 4 cm and to get clear margins they needed to take the breast. It was all shocks one after the other.

    So this time I am leery. And the plastic surgeon and the breast surgeon telling me yes, definitely you can get immediate reconstruction and then changing that... it triggers the past.

    I need drugs..... LOL

    wallan

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited February 2017

    Dear Wallan - I'm so sorry you seem to be starting down this road of disappointing/unhappy/dismaying surprises again. I really feel for you. I don't have any wisdom or advice to offer but am sending lots of support and several hugs. I hate this disease and I hate the way it lies in wait and pounces on us - and specifically on you at this point. Re: drugs - seriously, do you have Ativan or the like?

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Hi Hopeful:

    Thanks... No, I don't have drugs. I was going to get them, but I feel better after venting and thought I could handle it all. I have this board and a few friends who listen. But seriously, I am going to the doctor now. I am not handling it.


    wallan

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited February 2017

    Wallan, it is exactly times such as this that Ativan is made for. I hope your MD is empathetic and helpful.

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Hi Hopeful;

    My GP is a very compassionate guy. I just found out he faxed my insurance forms for my short term disability into the insurance company and is not charging me for this. When I brought the forms into this office last week, his nurse told me they will NOT fax them and there is a $40-50 charge for filling them out. So this was a nice surprise when I asked about them.

    Unfortunately, I cannot get into see him for two weeks - he is booked solid. So no Ativan from him for right now. The breast surgeon already told me she will not prescribe any anti-anxiety or anti-depressant meds - that I must go thru my GP.

    The medical system is so frustrating!

    Can I ask anyone - how long did you have surgery for treatment after you were diagnosed?


    wallan


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  • Wildplaces
    Wildplaces Member Posts: 864
    edited February 2017

    Hey,


    What a a lot of things to deal with....

    First of all let me say the FOOL who said chemo would not work the first time around ....how unprofessional, uniformed and insensitive.

    Really let's call it - how f...ing stupid!

    It sounds like it very small this time around and you are being very brave in facing GOOD definitive surgery - it will give you great margins and given your nodes are not involved /if it turns out to be hormone positive you may not need chemo this time around. I have had my breast out and for me it was right decision.

    One day at time...

    As the world and their quirky comments - we have all had our share of them, personally I have learned much about the human nature during the last six months. Yes, despite knowing better, it can irk me on my sensitive days but I am slowly leaning to deep breath and let go.

    Very best wishes for a speedy recovery!!

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited February 2017

    Dear Wallan - I hope your GP can squeeze you in sooner and can't believe your surgeon wouldn't help :( but am glad the forms were faxed. It's about time you got a break of any sort.

    I didn't have surgery until 8 months after I was diagnosed because I was on neoadjuvant Femara, so I'm not much help there. It seems to me that many women have surgery between 2-8 weeks after dx. and my nurse navigator told me that leaving aside neoadjuvant treatment, within 12 weeks was desirable and that if my surgeon felt it needed to be sooner they would tell me in no uncertain terms. Maybe that gives you some sort of ballpark figure? With a recurrence I'd think they'd go for sooner rather than later but that's just my guess.

    Hang in there.

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited February 2017

    wallen - Will the GP just call an Rx into the pharmacy w/o a visit? If they're objecting because it's Ativan, see if they'll call in Xanax.

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Hi MinusTwo:

    Yes, I was thinking of going to the pharmacy and asking. So Xanax if not Ativan? Thanks for the tip!

    I will let you know if I am successful.

    wallan

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Hi Wildplaces:

    Thanks for your response. I am chuckling. Yes. it was f***king stupid to tell me the chemo will likely not work. LOL. It did work. 13 years later NED. Until this new primary, which apparently is not a recurrance of the old cancer. So, yes, the treatment worked last time.

    I do think a mastectomy is the best way to go. I feel very right about it. And so far, nodes not involved. I find out Feb 21 for sure. So, it looks like treatment will be gentler this time around. I'm hopeful of that. (See - I do have hope LOL).

    I am looking forward to the anti-anxiety drugs though. I am getting exhausted from all the angst and perpetual turmoil my mind puts me through. I need to relax and chill out and I can't seem to do it myself. I am driving myself absolutely nutty with worry about the future and all the what ifs.... Cancer sucks!

    How are u doing?

    wallan



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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited February 2017

    Wallen - they are both prescription so you'll have to get your GP (PCP) to call it in for you. He really should be able to do that w/o an office visit since you've seen him lately.

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    Hi MinusTwo:

    I will call his office and see if I can get him too. The triage nurse there is a real gatekeeper. I will need to put on charm. LOL

    As for the pharmacy, they sometimes call the GP. I am not really sure if they will without an actual prescription though. They have in the past to refill a prescription that does not have any repeats anymore.

    I will let you know.

    wallan

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  • wallan
    wallan Member Posts: 1,275
    edited February 2017

    So ladies:

    No anti-anxiety drugs as of yet. I get in to see my GP on Thursday. I need to see him for a prescription.

    I do see my breast surgeon for my SNB results tomorrow and I also have pre-op for my mastectomy tomorrow morning.

    You would think I would be happy.. but I am very emotional tonight. It crept up on me. I had a very pleasant, calming weekend that I thoroughly enjoyed. My anxiety was at bay for the most part. Today, I pulled out hobbies I havent' done for a long while, feeling strong and motivated.

    And then tonight, I feel this ache in my gut and a rising fear or sorrow that comes and goes. I need to print the pre-op forms and I start crying. Now, I feel sorrow and anxiety. I figure its all triggered because tomorrow I get results. Even though I want those results. Even though I have been waiting and waiting.

    I figure I need to get this out and write it down. So here I am.

    I will let you know how my results turn out tomorrow... wish me luck.

    wallan

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  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited February 2017

    Wallen - in your pocket tomorrow.

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited February 2017

    Wallen, I am so sorry for the terrible anxiety and sorrow you feel. Thinking good thoughts for tomorrow.

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  • TwoHobbies
    TwoHobbies Member Posts: 2,118
    edited February 2017

    Wallan, I really think you are going to get good news. Im glad you got a good weekend and its understandable to have these moments. I will be thinking of you.

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  • Lovinggrouches
    Lovinggrouches Member Posts: 530
    edited February 2017

    Prayers Wall!!!!!!!!

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  • Optimist52
    Optimist52 Member Posts: 302
    edited February 2017

    Wallan, I know how hard it is. At least you are moving on with treatment now and getting answers. Hope for great results.

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  • Sadiesservant
    Sadiesservant Member Posts: 1,995
    edited February 2017

    Sending positive thoughts for tomorrow. I know how difficult this is but tomorrow the path will be clear. All the best. Pa

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited February 2017

    Holding you in my thoughts tonight, Wallan. ((( )))

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