Biopsy done and waiting - Telling family

I agree. Don't tell the children until you have a diagnosis and a treatment plan so you will be able to answer their questions w/o sending them into free fall. Do some research, but try to stay away from Dr. Google. Too many things on the web are outdated or 'sensational' w/o sense. The main topics on this site has a wealth of information. Hoping for B-9 for you.

To me this is not a lot different than if you were considering worrying about telling your entire family about having your pap smear every time.

Until you know you have something to worry them about it is really premature to be agonizing over this. Most breast biopsies are benign.

My son is 46. I did not tell him until I had my diagnosis, had completed all tests & was scheduling surgery. Because he is my only support, he came to be my nurse so I had to tell him at that point. Grown sons are men. Many either don't want to know all the health details, or they get so freaked out they are useless. LuckyNumber is right - you have to take care of yourself first now and you don't have time to be MOM to make everything better for them. Hold off until you have your plans in place.

I think you are wise to wait on telling the kids, even though they are adults. Telling them before you have a plan will just stir up a lot of anxiety for them, which will probably make the two of you that much more anxious. I bet they will be stronger than you think.

I found out about my breast cancer while on a family vacation in Jul 2015. I only told two people--my DH and my sister, who had also had BC-- until I had completed more testing and had a plan in hand. Once the plan was in place (all that took about 3 weeks), only THEN did I tell my kids. And the way I did it, well...it turned out funny.

I decided to call a family meeting on a Sunday afternoon. When everyone was there I asked my 30yo DS to bring us a plate of fresh cookies I had baked. He walked into the family room with the cookies like he was holding a dead cat, and said, "I sort of feel like somebody has cancer or something." Well, that certainly broke the ice! So I owned up that I did, indeed, have breast cancer, that I would be having some surgery, and I wasn't going to die. So, then we ate cookies and watched "Muppet Treasure Island"--nothing like a bit of Tim Curry to get your mind off things. Of course, as it turned out nothing went as planned-I needed extra surgeries, chemo, more surgeries, had complications--but my DH and my kids really rose to the occasion. They cooked for me and drove me to appointments. They did the grocery shopping and the yard work. They hung out with me and watched stuff on Netflix when I wasn't allowed to go out in public (on chemo.) And none of them ever batted an eyelash when they saw me with my wig or beanies (I never could let them see my bald head, not even my DH.)

Interestingly, about 9 months after my BC diagnosis my DH was diagnosed with advance stage prostate cancer. Knowing that the family meeting/cookie bit was not going to go over again, this time we invited them to our local pizza dive. This time it was my 23yo DD who said, "I feel like there's something y'all want to say." My kids are nothing, if not intuitive. So we got a round of beers and a pizza, and told them the plan, simply and plainly as we had before. They took a few minutes to absorb it (and the beer), and then life went on pretty much as before. They kept the dog for us when DH was in the hospital. They again cooked and shopped for us. Thankfully, DHs cancer was contained so he didn't need rads or chemo. But if he had, I'm sure my kids would have stepped up in any way we needed.

Just sit tight for now and be ready for anything.

Yes, Chriscraft, they're fine now. They understood I had to wait until their sister was ready. I had to call each of them with the news since we couldn't all get together. Surgery was Wednesday and on Sunday morning my DH took a picture of me - looking happy and healthy - to update my Facebook page. When I called each of the kids that evening they knew I really was fine because they had seen the picture.