nipple removal and reconstruction in general

hi all,

i had a bilateral mx in may, cancer in both breasts but thank G-d none in my lymphnodes so i didn't have chemo or radiation. immediate reconstruction with round silicone implants. skin saved in both but only one nipple saved. my results are not great, and i used a very well-respected plastic surgeon in westchester county, ny. dr. salzberg. whom i liked very much but am now starting to feel like i was sold a bill of goods and got some bait and switch. he has a very casual approach and is sweet and funny, however nothing is a straight answer suddenly and it's not really looking good at all.

the breast with no nipple is a completely different shape than the other one. and it has no projection from above. i was told AFTERWARDS, that yes, the tissue underneath the nipple must be removed so they end up flat....nice to not know that beforehand. it is an oblong shape when viewed from the front and does not fall into a rounded shape at the bottom. it seems squeezed out to both sides, due to the nipple removal incision.

it also feels extra tight and unnnatural. like when i lay down on my side it feels suspended strangely.

my muscle seems to spasm a lot too.

the other breast (left) with the nipple, is ripply from the muscle i assume. it feels a bit like it is in my armpit slightly. my original nipple is in a strange place. kind of down and to the outward angle.

in september dr salzberg built me a new nipple and fat-grafted. the nipple is fine, but in a different place than the one on the other side. the fat grafting, i really don't see any difference. the lipo is insignificant too, after i was told i would look like i had a flatter stomach. nope.

originally i was not given a choice and they gave me the round implants 550. i asked for the teardrop ones but they dismissed my request out of hand, and said something like "no, you don't..."

now i have a follow up appt next week. i am told they can fat graft more to make my breasts bigger, which i do not want. they are big enough. i feel like he will keep experimenting at my expense and i don't have time for it.

has anyone had similar experiences with losing a nipple and did anyone ever replace their implants etc to a completely different shape and come out looking good?

i keep seeing pictures online where everyones breasts look great and i hate mine.

i'm getting so depressed about this.