Biopsy today after 13 years NED help!

Hey guys:

Do you think they take into account your cancer history when they plan your treatment for a new primary? After so many years NED, do you think its treated like a brand new cancer? Because it is so small, I agree treatment can be surgery maybe and hormone therapy.

But since I had a large tumor and lymph node positive last time, I wonder if they will consider more aggressive treatment. I guess I just have to wait and see.

I told my boss at work that I need treatment for early stage BC, (he knows nothing of my history) and he was exceptionally supportive. Its just deciding if I need a longer term medical leave because this affects income. He is asking me what I want to do. Right now, I am off work because I am a basketcase. But, its not a formal "medical leave" as of yet. I am just writing my thoughts out loud and I know no one can answer this. Its helpful just to get off my chest to people who understand. I just need to wait to see treatment plan and hold my boss at bay.

Hey Sheila:

Thanks .. it is small. I just got a call from the surgeons office - 1:30 PM on Tuesday is the consultation. 6 AM is the MRI.

Things are moving. You are right. I feel less anxious when things are happening.

I did ask why I need an MRI and I was told there is more than one lesion that may or may not be cancer. So they need to know if its multifocal disease. In my mind, I don't care. I am getting a mastectomy.

Hi Meow13:

Thanks for sharing this. I am wondering about the psychological toll of a mastectomy on me too. I already had one on Right side last time. So I am lopsided. Surprisingly to me, I do feel very subconscious when wearing a bathing suit and won't get wet in public. Its irrational I know, but I am self-conscious. I do have a swimming prosthesis, but its a different size a bit and shape. I thought of reconstruction a hundred times, but never took the plunge. I convinced myself I am alive and that is what counts. Why have more pain and surgery I thought.

But this time, with another mastectomy, I am thinking reconstruction. Its the perfect opportunity. I do wonder if it makes a difference in your body image. I mean really, its just two lumps on your body right? But your clothes fit and no prosthesis. I have never talked with a woman who had reconstruction except for one woman many years ago. She was unhappy because they reconstructed one breast lower than her natural breast on the other side and it looked horrible. This scared me off too from any reconstruction.

You say you are happy and look natural? That is pretty awesome. I do know medically speaking that mastectomy is the only way I will go. I can't fathom wondering if the lumps they don't remove with a lumpectomy will ever turn malignant. Or, if any new malignancies will surface some time. I sort of wish I had had a double mastectomy last time. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

How long was your recovery from the surgery?

wallan

Thanks Diana:

I am so sorry to hear of your mets. That sucks. Who knew BC can spread to your peritoneal area of all places. How are things responding to treatment?

It is much harder next time around mentally. You are dead right about why too. It is the dread and horror of having to go thru everything again. I tried to explain to my husband that when he goes to the dentist and has a bad root canal he is afraid of the dentist after that. Only its 500x worse for me because of the horror of treatment I am about to face and because of knowing it may not cure me and I may need this forever now.

I am trying to be positive and optimistic and not defeated. - but I must say underneath it all I am pissed off and sad and terrified. My family is saying, what is the big deal, you did this once and it was fine. No it was NOT fine. It was traumatic.

it is working up the gumption to do it again.

Thanks again Diana for saying that to me. I feel validated.

God bless. You are in my prayers.

wallan

Hey:

I just returned from my MRI. That was an experience I have never had before. I felt like a torpedo in a submarine. LOL. The poor patient after me would not get on the table after she saw what she had to do. They were trying to convince her when I left.

My surgeon appt is in a few hours. Apparently the MRI results will not be ready for a week. Another whole week. That means surgery will not be for another whole week most likely. How am I going to distract myself for that long I wonder....

I have thought of seeing an oncology social worker or psychologist. - I actually booked an appt with a psychotherapist and went and saw her yesterday. I just looked in the local phonebook type thing. But she was unfamiliar with cancer patients and had alot of BC and ovarian cancer in her family she is dealing with now, so not the best resource in some ways. I need to go to the cancer centre and talk with people there. I need Ativan. LOL.

I may go back to my family doctor for referrals to someone to talk with.

I will vent here to ladies who know.....

Thanks everyone.

wallan

Hi everyone:

Just got back from my surgeon. She expedited the MRI results. I have two tiny tumors less than 1 cm. Nodes look clean on imaging. But she suggested a sentinel node biopsy first to check for micromets to nodes - scheduled Feb 10. If negative, I will not need radiation or chemo. If positive, I will likely need radiation and chemo. Blah....

Then, she said I will have mastectomy with reconstruction node positive or not. The mastectomy + reconstruction will happen within a month. She referred me urgently to a plastic surgeon for the reconstruction consult. I did have a mastectomy last time, but NO reconstruction. So she needs the plastic surgeon to decide if I can have reconstruction on that side now when I have my new mastectomy.

So I am relieved that there are only two tiny tumors and likely no mets to lymph nodes. She was very reassuring and kind.

I am going to go to my family doctor for anxiety meds. I still need to wait and I find that I am stilling thinking its still CANCER.

wallan