Rosevalley - this is for you!

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  • Kandy
    Kandy Member Posts: 1,461
    edited January 2017

    Rosevalley, we all hate to hear that you don't think it's working. So discouraging and I'm sure you are exhausted. You have taught us all so much about so many different things and I just would like to thank you for being so open and allowing us to be a part of your life. Your will to live and determination to keep going is amazing. Unfortunately I really have no advice for you, but I hope you know we all care about you very much. My prayers are with you, that maybe something will give you some relief.

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  • feelingfeline
    feelingfeline Member Posts: 5,664
    edited January 2017

    Hope you have managed some restful sleep by the time you read this Rose. XXX

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  • Iwrite
    Iwrite Member Posts: 870
    edited January 2017

    Sending hugs <<Rose>>...hope today is more comfortable for you.

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  • Loveroflife
    Loveroflife Member Posts: 5,563
    edited January 2017

    Yes, hope today is better than yesterday. Hugsimage

    image

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  • feelingfeline
    feelingfeline Member Posts: 5,664
    edited January 2017

    Amen to that.

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  • Rosevalley
    Rosevalley Member Posts: 3,061
    edited January 2017

    My tumor markers have gone up 568 points in 2 weeks and the cancer in my stomach and intestines has made it impossible to keep anything down. It's 10 am and I have puked relentlessly 6 times. Taken zofran around the clock and feel just horrible. The oncologist switched to Halaven and I got that yesterday. It's had zero effect.

    I have open almost all of my DWD capsuls and they are a bitch to open. My fingers were raw after the first 50. I had to use little sissors to get the powder out and into the bottle. It's rediculous. I am so plagued with pain and reflux and nausea that I just want to leave. Thank you for your kind words of compassion and support but my dance with this beast is nearing an end.

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  • Loveroflife
    Loveroflife Member Posts: 5,563
    edited January 2017

    Aw dear Rose :( Could the Havalen possibly contributes to the N/V? I know you were only able to keep milk and yogurt down, but I wonder how much casein protein in them fed the fire. Wish I could do something to ease your misery/pain.

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  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited January 2017

    oh Rose. I'm so sorry.

    It is ridiculous that DWD pills are that hard to use.

    Praying right now that you get relief soon.

    You are amazing.

    Jill

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  • JWoo
    JWoo Member Posts: 1,171
    edited January 2017

    Very sorry to hear of your pain and progression, Rose.

    As you know, you are loved by many. Not only your lovely family, but so many that have never met you in person. Please know that you have given us so much in the time you have been here. Laughter, knowledge, compassion, and all with honesty and grace.

    Whatever your next step is, or where you are, we all have so much love for you.

    I wish you and your family peace.


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  • feelingfeline
    feelingfeline Member Posts: 5,664
    edited January 2017

    image

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited January 2017

    Sending my love....

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  • kathindc
    kathindc Member Posts: 2,042
    edited January 2017

    Much love Rose. You are a true inspiration and teacher. May you find your peace. Love and ((((HUGS))))

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  • Zillsnot4me
    Zillsnot4me Member Posts: 2,687
    edited January 2017

    Peace be with you, your family and friends and us. You have more than earned it.

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  • cling
    cling Member Posts: 333
    edited January 2017

    Rosevalley, just want you to know that you are loved and admired. Wish you peace, though selfishly I want to see you here much much longer.

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  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 1,562
    edited January 2017

    Ah, Rose, we are all with you and would lighten your load if it were possible. Thinking of you everyday. Brenda

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  • CatsRus
    CatsRus Member Posts: 310
    edited January 2017

    I have been silently following your posts for a long time Rosevalley. I wish you peace and relief from pain. I thank you for sharing your story. Please know how many people you have helped. I will keep you in my thoughts

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  • Lita57
    Lita57 Member Posts: 2,437
    edited January 2017

    My dear Rosevalley,

    You have been such an inspiration for me, and for ALL of us.

    May your words ring true to your last breath.

    This is how it SHOULD be...you saying goodbye on your OWN terms.

    Your family and YOU will know when it is TIME to go. And I know you will have all your beloved ones all around you.

    The Supreme Being of the Universe LOVES you and he/she will welcome you with wide open arms!!!

    Do NOT worry about your children, friends, family, etc. They WILL be cared for. (I lost my mom when I was in high school and my youngest bro was in middle school...we did just fine, but yeah, it was tough for a while, I won't lie, but we DID get thru it....kids are tougher than you think.)

    Just let it all go peacefully and with gratitude.

    We ALL love you,

    Lita


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  • molliefish
    molliefish Member Posts: 723
    edited January 2017

    ffarewell dear one. Thank you, bless you. We love you.

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  • Mominator
    Mominator Member Posts: 1,575
    edited January 2017

    Rose, thank you for sharing yourself and your family. It's been such a roller coaster ride for you this past year. Hoping that the good memories outshine the rest.

    Sending you so much love ❤️ and best wishes and prayers for comfort and peace. (((gentle hugs))) Madelyn

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  • MaineRottweilers
    MaineRottweilers Member Posts: 156
    edited January 2017

    Rose, I almost never interject myself in conversations on this board but I follow closely and have learned much from you. By watching you, I will know how to die with grace and dignity when my turn comes. I didn't want you to leave this world without me telling you that you have touched my life and made a difference.

    Peace to you and your family. We will cross paths again.

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  • Woodylb
    Woodylb Member Posts: 1,454
    edited January 2017

    Rosevalley, you have been an inspiration to me in every way . I wish you peace and strength and mostly i wish you puke free, pain free days. I send you allmy love and support and loads of hugs . May the light surround you and keep you warm. Thank you for you , you are a wonderful human being.

    In all loving kindness ...

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  • jensgotthis
    jensgotthis Member Posts: 937
    edited January 2017

    so much love to you Rosevalley

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  • lalady1
    lalady1 Member Posts: 618
    edited January 2017

    Lovely Rose - I and so many others admire you so, what a fighter you have been. Only kind thoughts for you now. My orchids wave hello again, and my 17 year old Persian who is becoming ill like Percy will join him soon. He is a BCE too!

    (()) Claire in overcast Socal

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  • Kjones13
    Kjones13 Member Posts: 1,520
    edited January 2017

    rose--although you have shared this part of your life with us, with grace and dignity, this cancer does not define you. Your life has been so much more than this shitty cancer.

    Your cancer sharing will forever be written here for others to read. Your honesty will be a comfort to so many...as it already is to us in the here and now.

    Ever since Barb passed and your sweet dog passed and I felt your anger through your post on the death and dying thread...you opened my eyes. I had been floating through this dx in a fog. You helped me find my strength. You woke me up and helped me focus on what is most important in this life, my family. You are an incredible mother and I admire you so much.

    Your legacy is one of strength. It is not weakness to say enough is enough. You are brave, even though you didn't ask to be put in this position. 2Tomothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

    Loving Kindness to you and your family ❤️

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  • Bestbird
    Bestbird Member Posts: 2,818
    edited January 2017

    Dear Rose, the words of your friends on this thread who embrace you are a testament to your kindness, warmth, intelligence, insight, support for others, and candor. Few leave this world recognizing how deeply they are loved. Hopefully you will always, always know how deeply your incredible spirit has influenced others for the good.

    With appreciation, andmiration, and love.

    - Anne

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  • Lita57
    Lita57 Member Posts: 2,437
    edited January 2017

    Yes, dear Rose, you have run the race, and now it's time to go home and wear the crown of laurel leaves.


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  • sugarplum
    sugarplum Member Posts: 318
    edited January 2017

    I'm another lurker who has been checking on you several times a day for the past year - you've always left me speechless with your strength, honesty and compassion. You're truly a force of nature. I will miss you SO much but also honor and support any choices you make.

    Much love from a fellow Pacific Northwesterner - Julie

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  • Rosevalley
    Rosevalley Member Posts: 3,061
    edited January 2017

    I am comforted by your kind thoughts. I keep hoping that the haleven will release my gut so I can take my DWD meds. So far I have thrown up relentlessly all day - literally everything. I didn't even drain ascites. I am down to 650 yesterday since nothing goes down. I have my pills and my juice to mix it in. As soon as I think it will stay down long enough to cross me over the river I'm taking it. It sit's on my dresser mocking me.. I was a fool not to take it when I felt better and could swallow and keep it down. Hind sight is 20/20. If I can't take the meds then I am at a loss what to do. I have been so weak and miserable I haven't gone on the computer.. sorry. I need to tell DH how to post final message.

    My observation at this point is that we are kinder and more loving to our animals. My Percycat (16) and Flower (18 yr old terrier) were both euthanized with a tender goodbye, all of us at bedside, IV and 1 minute of release then sweet death. No pain no suffering just clean sweet release from age and disease. We are much kinder to our animals then our people. That's too bad for the people.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited January 2017

    Oh Rosie.......I do so wish you peace.....

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  • zarovka
    zarovka Member Posts: 3,607
    edited January 2017

    Rosevally -

    I am glad you got that murphy bed installed before you left this world. Your daughter will sleep on it and think of how you spent your last days worrying about her bed. Praying you get a moment of respite to get those DWD meds down. You'll be in peace with Stephanie and Percy Cat and Flower soon.

    Now I'll know to take my DWD meds, if I have to, while I can still swallow. Where in the world would I have learned that if not from you. Thank you for courageously sharing the whole story.

    You will always be alive in our hearts here on BCO as we fight on for our families inspired by you.

    >Z<


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