Medicine, Miracles and My Thoughts-Six Years

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DivineMrsM
DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
edited April 2017 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

Six years ago today, I felt a gnarled thickening in my left breast and life was never the same. Testing soon revealed I was dealing with stage iv er+ invasive lobular carcinoma.

It surprises me when I think of all the phases I've gone thru since then. Paralyzing fear, crash course cramming to educate myself on the disease, a year of dealing with big treatments; months recovering from them.....slowly pulling out of a nose dive, filling an urge to visit places far beyond where I live, trying new things, reassessing all things. Over the past six years, I've decluttered...prioritized...downsized...simplified, adjusting to different life passages for myself and my loved ones. For awhile, I kept busy and on the go to distract myself, then later I preferred a more home-centered slower pace.

I try to remember to stay present today, to live in the moment. I've read that the opposite of uncertainty is not certainty; it is open mindedness. I like that concept. It helps me keep moving forward.

Many years before bc, I bought a sign that said "believe in miracles." It hangs in my kitchen every winter and has offered me hope at different times in my life. Is my good response to bc treatment God's doing? My take is that modern medicine is the reason for my stability so far with the disease. My belief in God (ever-changing since being diagnosed with breast cancer six years ago) sustains me in other ways. I am glad to have both.


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  • 50sgirl
    50sgirl Member Posts: 2,527
    edited December 2016

    DevineMrsM, Six years! WOOHOO! It sounds like you have experienced a transformational journey during the past six years, and I have no doubt you will continue to change, grow, and learn about yourself and your priorities in the future. I would be remiss if I did not tell you how much your contributions to these discussion boards mean to those of us who read them. Your thoughtfulness and attitude have helped to educate and support us. You have a way with words, and there have been several times that I have read your posts and thought, "Yes, perfect! I wish I had said that." I look forward to reading your posts for many more years.

    Lynne

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited December 2016

    DivineMrsM,

    We are so thankful to have you here, sharing your story, contributing daily, supporting others, and spreading hope. Grateful for you and all you do. Congrats on your 6 years, and here's to many, many more!

    Big hugs,

    --The Mods

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  • Kandy
    Kandy Member Posts: 1,461
    edited December 2016

    Congratulations Ms Divine on reaching your 6 year mark. I do hope you have many many more to celebrate. I also reflect on how BC has changed my life. I guess some for the good and some for the bad. I think when your mortality has been put in your face, the mind has no choice but to change in order to survive. It definitely teaches some values that sadly enough is not learnt until then. My favorite saying is, We don't remember the days, we remember the moments. I do realize this is not a place to discuss religion and respect everyone else's opinion, but I do believe God is in control of everything. Miracles only happen through him, medical technology would not be where it is today if God hadn't intended it to be. I try to concentrate on faith, I have faith that what is meant to be , will be. Enjoy your anniversary and Merry Christmas to everyone

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  • Heidihill
    Heidihill Member Posts: 5,476
    edited December 2016

    Congrats, Divine! I like the idea of open-mindedness leading to change and growth. I'm looking forward to seeing more transformations in the years to come, of which I hope there are many.

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  • MSL
    MSL Member Posts: 101
    edited December 2016

    Beautiful post Divine. And a lovely picture.

    Thank you for your leadership and presence in this community - you are most generous with your thoughts and compassion and you are someone many of us turn to for inspiration and guidance.

    Congratulations on 6 years. 6 years of not just staying alive but really living.

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  • wam
    wam Member Posts: 168
    edited December 2016

    Thank you for staying here these six years! You always have such good things to say to brush back the fear. I have followed you since I was diagnosed in 2015.

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited December 2016

    Yes, great post Divine! i need one of those signs for my kitchen as well. Like Kandy, I have been through transformations too, good and bad. But all of it adaptive as I try and not just survive but thrive. So thanks so much for that. Beautiful Pic!

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  • kaayborg
    kaayborg Member Posts: 613
    edited December 2016

    Thank you for sharing this! Your words really resonate with my journey thus far, down to the last paragraph. Enjoy this holiday and on to many, many more!

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited December 2016

    Thanks for all the nice words, everyone. I, too, benefit from insightful, educational and informational posts from you and others on this forum, a place that has made dealing with bc much less isolating.

    Kandy, I do not mind any references to God and try to be respectful of all views, even those who do not believe. From time to time, I draw comfort from the saying, "everything is unfolding as it should". My own concept of God has transitioned away from a lifetime belief in a male-centric religion where God is "Lord" and "Father" towards one where God manifests both male and female characteristics. It feels very right to me, like I found the piece that was missing that I'd been searching for.

    MSL and others, it is thru this forum that I even learned how to go on with daily life after being diagnosed, by reading posts from others who were basically walking in the same shoes as I was. It has meant so much to me to know I am not alone and that we can see ourselves as living with the disease and not dying from it.


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  • AmyQ
    AmyQ Member Posts: 2,182
    edited December 2016

    Beautiful DivineMrsM - Just Beautiful and congratulations on 6 years. You truly have been helpful, inspirational and a leader on these boards. What a gift to us all.

    Merry Christmas!

    Amy

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  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited December 2016

    6 years is great, glad that you are here. I look forward to reading your posts.


    Janis

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  • zarovka
    zarovka Member Posts: 3,607
    edited December 2016

    Thank you DivineMrsM. Merry Xmas.

    I'm only 1 year into this, but right behind you.

    >Z<

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited December 2016

    Lovely post and photo, Divine! Christmas blessings and continued good health to you! Deanna

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  • TarheelMichelle
    TarheelMichelle Member Posts: 871
    edited December 2016

    I am so happy for you. You look so pretty and healthy in your photo. You are one of the ladies I look up to here. I'm right behind you, celebrating 5 years of Stage IV.

    You are Divine, because you have kindly helped so many here.

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited December 2016

    Congrats Ronda, I love hearing every story! Nice to "see' you Fitz!

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  • PHOTOGIRL-62
    PHOTOGIRL-62 Member Posts: 285
    edited December 2016

    Congrates DivineMrs.M and Ronda. You give us all hope everyday. Happy Holidays and to many more!!!

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  • marie5890
    marie5890 Member Posts: 3,594
    edited December 2016

    Goodness.

    6 years. We both went thru out "what is it" stage at the same time. I went the B9 route, with the determination to educate myself about BC, and then others, while you went down the BC route.

    So much has happened in both of our lives since then.

    Yes I believe in miracles, and the evolving of our lives based on what we are experiencing.

    It's a blessing to have known you from the starting gate in all of this, Mrs M

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  • lulubee
    lulubee Member Posts: 1,493
    edited January 2017

    Divine, so happy to see your beautiful smile. You were diagnosed a couple of months after I learned I had bone mets, and I do remember those early days for both of us here on the Stage IV boards. I always appreciate your posts and your lovely, bouyant spirit. You inspire me!

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  • Moissy
    Moissy Member Posts: 550
    edited January 2017

    Thanks for taking time to write this thoughtful and encouraging post. It reminds me that others have felt all the same emotions as I have. I always enjoy reading your posts. Thank you.

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  • Southernsurvivor
    Southernsurvivor Member Posts: 632
    edited January 2017

    Divine,

    What an inspiration you are! Congratulations on 6 years - a feat definitely worthy of a celebration! I always enjoy reading your knowledgeable and insightful posts. Keep 'em coming! I do believe in miracles too and God has certainly sustained me through my worst pain and trials of this terrible BC.

    Thank you for sharing your story!

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  • Nan812
    Nan812 Member Posts: 289
    edited January 2017

    Hello,

    Thank you all for your posts.

    I know we all have different stage 4 stories and it is an inspiration to hear them and a blessing to tell them when you are so far from the point where any one thought you could.

    Keep shining bright!

    Nan

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  • screech
    screech Member Posts: 212
    edited January 2017

    Love modern medicine! Divine-you absolutely inspire me!

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  • Brendatrue
    Brendatrue Member Posts: 1,830
    edited January 2017

    TheAlwaysDivineMrsM--

    Over the years, whether I have been more present or less present in this forum, I have been grateful for YOUR presence, your perspective, and your willingness to open your heart to others. Thanks for sharing stories from your inner and outer journeys for over six years.

    You and others like you give expansive meaning to this quote:

    "A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life." Isadora James

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  • Kjones13
    Kjones13 Member Posts: 1,520
    edited January 2017

    I missed this post. So happy for you! You have always been so helpful to everyone on these boards. I hope and pray the good days( years too!) keep on coming!

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  • jensgotthis
    jensgotthis Member Posts: 937
    edited January 2017

    beautifully said Ms. D

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  • kayrnic
    kayrnic Member Posts: 1,708
    edited January 2017

    So happy for you! 6 years is awesome. The concept of GOD is an interesting one with this disease! I believe in him, but I have a hard time feeling like he controls the disease outcomes. Everyone "thanks God" when things are good, but no one "blames God" when things are bad. I feel like if I thank God for my good outcomes, then is he to blame when someone doesn't make it? or has pain? or progression? My relationship with God has changed a lot over my almost 5 years with MBC.

    Love and hugs to you Mrs. M!!!!

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited January 2017

    Thanks, all you lovely ladies, for your replies and kind words. I hope for years and years and years of stable for every one of us.....

    Kay, one concept of God that I used to have was that "he" was "up there". After the bc diagnosis, I wanted, needed a God who is right beside me. Something closer. And seeing God now not as a masculine deity only but one with feminine traits as well makes me feel more balanced. More whole.

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  • PattyPeppermint
    PattyPeppermint Member Posts: 11,162
    edited January 2017

    loved reading your post re 6 years experiences. I always love reading your post. Tanks for sharing

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  • Shutterbug73
    Shutterbug73 Member Posts: 791
    edited January 2017

    Much love to you as you celebrate six years Divine! I always appreciate your thoughtful posts.

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  • Wiegp22
    Wiegp22 Member Posts: 268
    edited March 2017

    omg, u found a lump on my birthday and now I will remember that Dec 22.

    Paula

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