Bumps in the Road

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time Kayrnic. I've never had shingles, but I know a few people who have and they can be horrible. You don't have to feel bad about complaining. Heck, I just cussed up a storm after splitting a nail (2 years after chemo and my nails are still a mess!). It is not easy to work around appointments and scans and other appointments and illnesses. It sometimes feels like cancer is a full time job in itself. Are you at least able to take some time off to give your body a rest?

Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping for good scans come January.

Shingles can be so miserable, I think anyone would complain. You are right, it does seem like cancer is a full time job. I haven't been able to work for 3 years now. I do miss it, especially the interaction with my patients. But I'm thankful I'm not working, besides not able to do my job, it was stressful. I have enough stress in my life. I wish you could find a way to quit working if that's what you want. Do you have long term insurance, dependent children? Those things make a difference in how much you draw. I will pray that a road opens up that will allow you to. Wishing you the best.

kay, please, you do not have to apologize for complaining. We don't have to compare levels of difficulty and only allow worst case scenarios to vent here. We all can understand your level of frustration. Embrace your anger and your upset feelings and the unfairness of it all. You are allowed to have all those strong feelings and do not need to put on a happy face or minimize what you are experiencing.

Since we are at the end of another year, its a good time to evaluated what is working and what is not working in your life. Cut back on the unnecessary. You are still finding value in work, both financially and socially. See what other areas in your life you can cut back on so you have more energy for work. Only you can say what those areas are, but you could do less housework, make quick meals, do less volunteer work, delegate more at home, ect. Simplify. And do NOT feel guilty about it. Look at it like a game as to how you can go about your day in a smarter way. I have found by "editing" my life and eliminating the unnecessary and the obligatory, the rest that remains is more suited to what I really want to be doing.

And look for ways to add more fun to your life. I have had to consciously allow myself to put off responsibilities and go have fun. It could be as simple as a Netflix binge, or taking a walk instead of dusting and running the vacuum. Or if your money goes to buying new tires for the car, take a day trip or country ride in that car and make good use out of your purchase, turning it around into something more pleasurable.

Find a way to reward yourself at the end of each month after the shots and the pills. Retail therapy or a delicious meal out or a show, or whatever you can come up with. Plan something each month, so you look forward to that and it helps you get through all the bc maintenance. And don't just do it one time . Do it every month. The maintenance is increasing, so increase your level of care for yourself.

In answer to above, you can take the vaccine after having the shingles. It supposedly will help make a second outbreak not as bad. I don't know about insurance coverage if you are younger than 50. It is a live vaccine so that may make a difference on whether someone on chemo can take it. It and the pneumonia vaccine should be 4 weeks apart ( from zostavax)

I certainly don't blame you for venting. I think I may have a little phobia about shingles! I had patients with pretty terrible cases in my nursing nephrology practice. It can be terrible

Kay, sometimes it just sucks being a cancer patient. It's hard not to let it take over your life. Have some chocolate. Drink some wine. Have a nap. Go to the beach. Don't worry about complaining -- that's what we're here for!

I bet part of your tiredness is due to (a) it's dark out and (b) the rigors of the holiday season. Not to mention that shingles is nasty (I'm told -- no experience here). Bubble bath?

If you don't want to work, consult a financial advisor. Maybe there's a way not to do so.

In the meantime, have some hugs. When you run out I'll happily supply more.

I GUESS you are tired seeing as you are teaching children! My hats off to anyone doing that job. I work in a school and dealing with kids all day no matter how smart or cute or cooperative they are is exhausting!!! Add cancer and shingles to that and I am surprised at how mild your "complaining" is. Hang in there kayrnic, I hope you get a two week holiday break at least and the shingles are just a one time anomaly for you.

dearest Kay,

It's been a while I could write to you, but you're always in my prayers. I'm sad about the shringles, but glad it's somehow under control now.

Working is such a challange for a MBC patient. I had to close my company shortly after dx, I think you have been quite a champion ! So far.. I hope your future decision on your career is primarily based on your well-being rather than your financial situation.

As your dx buddy I get you well. I too feel tired at times.. But then think We have been also blessed to see this far. Today I went to the movies to watch the latest Star Wars movie.. I remembered thinking I wouldn't be able to make it to see the previous one .. now thinking maybe I might also enjoy episode 8!

My dear friend, the best meds is to avoid as much stress as possible and get rid of the toxic people around you. Please focus on this. I ditto all previous comments, great advices indeed.

I used to say one day at a time.. Now my new motto is one breath at a time. To make sure each new breath is worth the struggle we are going through. I am so happy to have a teenager son around, had no hope during dx, he was just 6 then.

If you won't struggle terribly with the finances, I suggest you consider retiring seriously. You need all the time as much as possible for yourself.

Love and huge hugs! ))

Ebru