MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited December 2016

    thanks so much for the get well wishes! it will be a long, hard row to hoe, but the glimmer at the end of the tunnel is so enticing! I just want some kind of normal in my life. Or at least some energy.

    I was dx with: Lyme, Babesia Duncani (funny since my son's name is Duncan), Babesia Microti, Burcella, Bartonella, C. Pneumonia. No wonder I couldn't get better!

    Yes, I feel the doctor community has to learn to listen to us. They are tied up by the CDC's protocols, and the fear of repercussions. They need to get back to the motto "First do no harm!"

    Diana, My PCP kept telling me that I should see a psychologist or at least go into CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) I told him I liked the therapist I had and she and my acupuncturist were convinced I had Lyme. I kept questioning my sanity, which is easy for me to do. lol

    guess what, he is not my PCP any more!!!  


  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited December 2016

    mac, Heaven help us when we get into our senior frailty and cannot strongly advocate for ourselves. We will be goners for sure. I am glad you had the stamina to press for answers and get to the bottom of your symptoms. Also, good for you to keep the people that helped and throw out the others (who needs 'em!) Despite your woes, it is good to hear from you. I luuuuuved the comic.

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited December 2016

    Melanoma removal, Thursday, the 8th, 7:45AM PST. Glad it is sooner than later.

  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited December 2016

    eph, is your removal with a MOHS surgery or excision? Is it an all day affair? waiting for clear margins? whatever it is I will be thinking of you and praying all day!

    Interesting enough that is the day I see my dermatologist up in Boston. My kids won't let me drive off island anymore ( I'm too spacey) So my DD is gonna drive down to the boat to pick me up and then after the appt. she gets me over to my DS who drives me back down after he gets outta work. I said just put me on the bus! But no they have to keep track of momma. lol

  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited December 2016

    eph - that was my question too. If you can do the MOHS surgery, you may be there awhile but you can be sure they will get clean margins. I've had five MOHS so far. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited December 2016

    Hmmm I do not know. Will find out though. Thanks.

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited December 2016

    Mac, so sorry for your travails and happy you are finally being treated. But counseling??? Seriously??? It makes me completely livid 5 times from Sunday that when women have medical complaints, they tell us to go see a shrink.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited December 2016

    Guess where I was this afternoon? That's right, getting my mammogram that I was supposed to get in summer. Had to squeeze it in in this benefit year, and I think I will wait til 2018 for the next one. THAT'S RIGHT, I AM TAKING 2017 OFF!!! You heard it here first.

    Anyway, the whole appt. was a breeze. the best once I've had since 2008. Wait make that 2007, since they missed my BC in 2008. I was outta there in 45 quick minutes. I made myself some hospitality hot chocolate (first serving this season) and only had a few hot sips because they called me back so quick and then even in the inner sanctum waiting room I had only time for another lukewarm sip or two (and enough time to find one jigsaw piece) before it was on to the machine.

    I told this tech that she had ONE SHOT to get each view. No retakes due to blur or underarm skin folds. No extra radiation of any kind due to tech error. She was a woman of my age and she STEPPED UP to my challenge and then topped me by taking only 5 views instead of the usual 6. "I think they can see the nip good enough on the lateral view," she said, except she did say nipple because she was not quite as casual as I am making out.

    So, you see, if I had invited any pocket company along, you would not have even had time to nestle down into my pocket lint, let alone try to get me to share my hot chocolate with you. I was home within the hour and am sitting comfortably now, NOT EVEN FEELING SQUISHED because I told my tech my treatment side was a delicate flower and to be gentle with it, and she was. Double-plus good.

  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited December 2016

    Love the hot chocolate picture & story. Almost time for that in Houston. Eli - so glad the mammo tech was responsive and the pictures were a snap. Hooray for good techs.

    Eph - any word about the plan for Thursday?

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2016

    Freaky, I had my first hot chocolate today too! I wonder if it was at the exact second as you...

  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited December 2016

    Eli, glad you had a breezy mammo day! Hope the results are as good!

    momine, I feel like sending all those docs that misdiagnosed or failed to dx, copies of my blood work. But then I think, I don't want to spend any more energy even thinking about them! But I will educate the docs I still see.

    barbe, I love your new (?) picture.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited December 2016

    Barbe, I bet yours was better. I just had the food service mix packet that I found laying on the coffee bar. Exact same second? Maybe it was. If so, we will have to coordinate our first seasonal wassail as well, or would you prefer eggnog?

    mac, It probably would be a waste of time to inform your ex-docs where they erred in judgement. Their minds have probably moved on, and you can't shame egos of doctor proportions anyway.

    --------------------------------

    Now, please read following HOLIDAY TALE of how I did take just a little time time to communicate with one doc...

    So, back when my mom was in the ICU on a ventilator (which was during both Thanksgiving and Christmas--there's your holiday tie-in) and it was touch and go, her PCP was stopping by on a daily basis and one day he said to me, "Your mom and I go way back, and I know she would not want to live all hooked up to tubes and machines..." Guess he was trying to feel me out on if I was a "pull the plug" kind of daughter or not. Well, first of all his "way back" was a crock because she had just started with him 9 mos. previous (!) and he, unlike me, was not spending hours with her and was not there for the few moments when she might come out of the heavy sedation long enough to give a barely perceptible nod of her head when asked, "Do you want to keep fighting? Can you make it back?" So, my reply to the doc was this, "You told me no one knows if she can get off the vent. and ever breathe on her own again, but she wants to, so let her TRY. (Right here, I cannot type those capital letters big enough.)

    (Intermission to say it took a good while, but she did get off the vent., rehabed in record time, made the move to my state, and came to live in my home for 13 mos.; and my mother had a good laugh too about what the doctor considered going "way back.")

    So, for Christmas that following year, my mom and I made sure to send her PCP a Christmas card, which included a pic of her and I having a great time out at my son's soccer game that Fall. That was just our way of putting an happy epilogue onto all the doom-and-gloom hospital drama. Did the doc actually get the card? Who knows? Did we get a return card? Are you kidding me? But who cares because sending that card FELT GOOD and was the symbol of the plug that didn't get pulled.

    (The end.)

    ---------------------------------

    I know, I know...now you are all thinking, "Oh, that elimar! Even her warm, fuzzy holiday tale had to portray the doc in a bad light." I'm sorry, I can't seem to help myself.


  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited December 2016

    El, now THAT is the way mammograms should be done--all the time, for everyone!

    And good for you for sending that Christmas card!

  • kkuziel
    kkuziel Member Posts: 191
    edited December 2016

    Hi all, have enjoyed reading all the good news and some of the not so good news. I guess I fit into the latter category. Had mammogram today. They saw some calcifications and want to do biopsy. To say the least I'm pissed. This is not how I wanted to spend yet another Christmas (cancer diagnosis was in December of 2012) I'm either in shock right now or I'm taking this better than the first time. I was not prepare for this stuff to come back, even though it was in the back of my mind. I take that stupid little pill like clockwork and had hoped it would be the magic bullet. Maybe it will be, maybe this will be harmless calcifications. But the fact that they didn't brush them off as harmless concerns me. Has anyone had a similar situation? Thanks for being there when I need you all.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2016

    Kkuziel, having a new primary isn't the same as a recurrence so you can always "hope" for that...amazing what we consider good news once we've had cancer in the first place!

    Hugs to you, sweetie.

  • molliefish
    molliefish Member Posts: 723
    edited December 2016

    All the best tomorrow E

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2016

    We'll be there with you today, sweetie. E has already made us some hot cocoa.

  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited December 2016

    Thinking of you today E.

  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited December 2016

    Kkuziel--after we are diagnosed they don't brush off any mammogram findings.Praying it's B9. So not fair to be going through this for another Christmas season.


  • kkuziel
    kkuziel Member Posts: 191
    edited December 2016

    Can't get in to see the surgeon until January 5th. This is so reminiscent of 2012-2013 I can hardly stand it. Everyone goes on vacation (understandably) and things grind to a halt. If these are harmless calcifications I guess it won't matter. I just hate the wait. Like a giant black cloud over my head for the holidays, again. Guess there's not much I can do. I remember hearing how things don't have to move as quickly as we think they should when it comes to cancer, from this very surgeon, so I guess we'll see how it goes.

  • Loral
    Loral Member Posts: 932
    edited December 2016

    kkuziel- just not knowing is what causes the anxiety, try to have a nice holiday!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2016

    Last year during the holidays I got to hold my first granddaughter after 4 grandsons! I held her on my chest right over the biopsy bandage wondering if I'd see her grow up...

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited December 2016

    No MOHS. According to my guy, not really an option on melanoma. .07 on a scale of .01-1.0; considered "thin melanoma". Have to wait about a week to find out re: margins. If margins aren't good, 2nd excision, twice as big as today which in my opinion, was big. Melanoma itself was about the size of a nickel. He took that + tissue surrounding and then the whole thing was diamond shape so the resulting scar would be a line. Where it is though is where arms/shoulders etc move from, on right side and right handed. He said to expect that the incision will expand some just because I won't be able to not use it. I am optomistic; it's all I can be.

    On another note, so sad about John Glenn. I idolized him as a kid.

  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited December 2016

    Eph - glad it's done and hoping the margins are clear.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited December 2016

    Eph, the one good thing is you got it done now. I know you have to get the path. results but I do hope this will be the end of it. You don't have to impress the importance of a cute vs. an ugly scar on me. I have scar-o-phobia, and the jury is still out on what my neck is going to look like. I think the scars need to be as invisible as possible. I don't like looking at those souvenirs at all.

    kkuziel, I always feel sorry for the women who get BC scares or, worse, BC diagnoses at this time of year; but face it, there is NO good time to get that kind of news. I don't know much about calcifications. It seems they are a sign of something being wrong, but how wrong I don't know. If B-9, I think the area has to be especially watched in the future. If not B-9, well, you know the drill. I know why you might feel calmer this time around...because you already have knowledge and you already have a team in place, if need be. Seek out your own moments of joy this holiday season and do not let BC rob you of it. That is fighting cancer too.

    image

    I say this every year to any and all ladies in active treatment: DON'T SWEAT THE HOLIDAYS. The holidays take energy you might not have. So what if the halls are not decked? Delegate if you want to. If not, you can down-size this year and if anyone balks about that, remember it says more about them than about you. Real friends and supportive family will understand. DO FOR YOU THIS YEAR, and be shameless about it.

  • Lita57
    Lita57 Member Posts: 2,437
    edited December 2016

    Wonderful advice, El.


  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited December 2016

    eph- so glad you were able to get this done quickly as we know waiting makes areinds think the worst and plays mind games. Praying for all clear margins and quick healing.

    Had chemo number 5 yesterday and all went well. Blood work is still improving and white cells bounced back from the low of 2.3 to just over 10 ! Daughter is here until Monday so going shopping today and baking tomorrow for a family gathering. So thankful that I pulled through to enjoy all this. Life and is and I feel blessed.

  • Loral
    Loral Member Posts: 932
    edited December 2016

    Diana and Eph...the power of Prayers!

    Enjoy the day.

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited December 2016

    any of you nurse type folks able to translate: "This is a thin melanoma, with a junctional component
    prominently involving the biopsy margins, and with invasive

    melanoma very close to the margin as well. Complete excision

    including a rim of normal skin is recommended.
    "

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited December 2016

    I'm not a nurse but I think you and I both know it means they gotta go back in. Hugs sweetie!

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