December 2016 Surgeries

thekeensheep I agree. I don't have a choice, I am not sick, I have a few bad cells. I have to do what needs to be done, I am in control of my feelings, emotions, but the medical stuff is out of my hands. We got this!

I have a slight following of friends, etc that keep tabs on me via FB from lymphoma, and when I do my checkups every 6 months I post. What happened with me here is that I went in for my 6 month checkup for lymphoma, and had complaints of sleeping excessively again, fatigue, pain in my shoulder blade, down my ribs, and horrible breast pain into my axillary ( I should note here that my lymphoma was in my axillary on the same side of my BC). I was sure that my lymphoma was back as there is a 90% recurrence rate of my type within the first 2 yrs, and I am barely 1.5 yrs post chemo. But my bloodwork was better than perfect, and I was given a notice of recovery status. I was referred for a sleep study, and my followup mammo and US (which I am ordered for each 6 months). I posted publicly that I was fully cleared of active lymphoma, and lots of celebrations happened. 1 month later to the day, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. So with that, everyone was kinda automatically in the loop because I went from being 'cured' to having extensive breast cancer that needed surgery within weeks.

I am a PhD student and I teach at the university and the university farm. I had to inform my department and my professors of my status immediately because I was initially told surgery within 2 weeks. I took a leave from work immediately so I could get my house and life in order so quickly. I only informed those that I worked directly with, but word spread quickly. I waited to make a public announcement on my FB until after my biopsy and the information that I needed a first available surgery. My boyfriend was part of it from the beginning as he attended every lymphoma followup appt, my mammo and US, and my biopsy. He passed the info to his family even though he didn't really know how to, but I encouraged him to do so in an effort to ensure he had a support system in place - and they have been magical. We then worked with his ex-wife to talk to his 10yr old daughter about the situation.

I know we all process and handle things differently, but there is HUGE power in allowing people to help. I learned that my first time around. People truly want to help and be there in many varying capacities. Some will cook for us, some will drag us out of the house, some will take us to a movie, some will just come and sit with us and drink a whiskey and unapologetically bi*ch about life. Some will send us supplies from afar even though we haven't seen them in a decade. It IS good for us, and it is good for them too. It is mutual healing. It is a powerful way for people to connect, even though it is hard to allow it in some times. I feel like we need to allow people to help us even if it sometimes isn't what we really want. They feel valuable in giving you their love, and it doesn't push them away. It creates a mutual support system.The only thing we have to do is just say thank you. In the end everyone feels better, and is mentally and emotionally stronger. You will also find that some people will disappear - remember that it is NOT you...it is them. They . Cancer is scary and sometimes people just don't know what to say or how to say it and they are scared of doing the wrong thing, or even that it might just be too emotional for them. Let that be okay. When you are better, and they are comfortable, let them in with no judgement - they don't want to feel guilty about not 'being there'. Some people you barely know will come out of the woodwork and be amazing and you will have new friends and loved ones because of this. It is all valuable.

I feel like I have grown this large tribe of support behind me because I did put it out there. It helps...every little bit. You don't have to respond to every email or FB comment, or even answer the door. But knowing people are there and truly care that you are alive and want to see you succeed can be super powerful when we all of the sudden are feeling mortal and no longer invincible. The more positive energy we allow in, the better we are in this.

I do wonder if I am also quite open about it in a way because I will be going flat. I am a well endowed gal now at a 36D, and my breasts have always gotten a lot of attention. I was a fitness competitor for many years, and have never been able to hide them much...I have never been too fond of my breasts but because they have always been so visibly a part of my identity, I always accentuated them in a way with how I dressed. So now I am going from large to flat as a board, and there will be no hiding it as I am very turned off by prosthesis, and will be openly living flat. I am athletic so this won't be something I can hide....so I guess I am just outwardly owning it before rather than having to deal with an inquisition after.

Hello everyone!

I know I'm late to the party but here I am. I'm having a bilateral mastectomy - right side has cancer (lymph node involvement as well), left side will be prophylactic. I'm lucky to have been referred to a breast surgeon who'll do axial mapping so hopeful I'll lose only a few lymph nodes (crossing fingers!). I've opted for reconstruction so will have TE put in as part of surgery...which will be 12/09. Anxiety is really creeping up as we get closer and will be scrambling to get stuff ready. My birthday happens to fall just 2 days before and I've asked the husband for a recliner as a present.

I've been pretty public about diagnosis- have even YouTubed about it. The support I've received has been just...overwhelming and humbling. People I've never even met have donated meals, sent me hats and funny cards. I was hesitant about sharing details, but I'm glad I did.

Glad to meet all of you! I had started a private FB group for those starting chemo in June (I'm more of an FB person than message boards)- if anyone would want something like that for our group, let me know. Would be happy to start one.

Hi all, I am scheduled for Dec 6th (with unilateral masectomy and thought TE placement, but after talking to BS office, it sounds like that comes later for me. Just wondering if anyone else is getting the expanders later as well and what the dr said reason is. Will be an extra surgery I am assuming. Anyways, thinking of everyone facing their surgeries this month too. As mine is getting near, I am getting nervous and a little sad at having to lose a body part. Thank goodness for support from thisbsitr, family and friends amd my faith.

Thanks!

Traci

i had my bilateral yesterday at UNC (Dr. Gallagher). And I'm home sitting in my recliner watching Netfix. The thing that's hurting the most is my throat. They had to intibate. My chest is sore but not bad. The drains are not hurting but cumbersome. The space between the two incisions is a bit swollen and sore. I have to wear a compression bra at all times. You have no idea how much I want to take the damn thing off! It's like the longest day at work ever!

Senitinal nodes mapped on both sides! They took 2 from one side and 3 from the other. Waiting for their pathology

Hi everyone!

Had MX and reconstruction yesterday. Doing much better than expected. Was reading the emotional posts from many of you yesterday about how you are feeling. It was so much easier than I could have imagined. Staff here is very attentive and have done a wonderful job in managing the pain which is entirely tolerable. All the best to those having surgery in th next few days

Hey all,

My double went ahead as scheduled Friday. Some complications, all axilla lymph nodes removed (rats, was hoping they were clear now but suspected it was back), then we had to go back into surgery because of bleeding and a developing hematoma. But I was up and drinking coffee the next morning! Hurts, but not nearly what I thought it would be. But, yeah, drains, gross and four of them. Bleh.

RS, in answer to your question, no, haven't told many people at all, just a few close family and friends. Successfully kept off facebook.

I had my double mastectomy on 11/25. Had my follow up on Friday with my BS and hes happy with my progress. Im sore but these drains are annoying. Go back to BS on 12/7. Right now im off work until 12/19 unless the drains come out by 12/12 (i hope so). I was pretty sore the furst week, but everyday is a little bit better.

I am glad to hear the recovery seems to be ok for some here. Good news. I am of course concerned too...for the upcoming mastectomy on the right side...meeting surgeon on the 8th...I will most likely end up with one enormous boob and one..well totally gone...I am just concerned of that feeling...being "lump sided" for some time...Just heard they usually can not do the breast reduction on the healthy breast due to infection at the same time...I wish they could..

I am preparing by having a "cleaning team" come to my apartment and clean everything to a tee. I hate to have a mess around me but just moved so there is so much mess I can not deal with, trying to get that organised as much as I have the strength before this.

Been away and feel like I've missed so much! :-)

thekeensheep: I loved what you wrote about sharing your diagnosis and there being power in allowing people to help. I think it gives the people who reach out to provide support as much comfort as it does us. Reminds me that we're in this life together. You are truly inspiring and kudos on being in the PhD program! You go, girl!!

Pepper43: Welcome and I'm glad you've joined considering the less than ideal circumstances. My surgery is the 6th so we'll conquer this in the same week. Happy early birthday and I'd love to check out your Youtube videos if you're open to sharing how we can find out.

Traci: I almost wish I was getting the TE later, but feel it's too late. My concern is if I have to go through chemo do I really want to be dealing w/having a TE and getting it filled, etc... I realize it's an additional surgery, but handling things one step at a time doesn't seem like a bad plan. I'll be praying for you!

Armecia, JCN16, Melinda0628: Wow! You all offer such encouragement! Armecia, I hope you get excellent news back from your pathology report. Prayers for continued rest & recovery.

NorthBrooklyn: I'm sorry to hear you had some complications but sounds like you're improving already! Such good news. I'm already wondering how I'll make it to surgery Tues. morning w/out my daily cup of coffee, lol! I know that will be one of the first things I want when I wake up. Praying for your continued healing.

MexicoHeather: Welcome! Will praying for you tonight that all goes well tomorrow. I like your cat and love your smile! :-) Happy early birthday!

Kattis894: You are so wise to have a cleaning team come in to get you organized and tidy! Would love to have that myself. Instead, my mom will be here tidying which will make me feel guilty in the process. I think my comments have come full circle because I know my mom wants to help and this will do her heart good. Just like thekeensheep mentioned that it's good to allow others to help when the offer.