Depression and waiting for results.

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Ciaramist
Ciaramist Member Posts: 14
edited December 2016 in Waiting for Test Results

hi all, I previously posted my situation so I won't get into that right now. I'm waiting for biopsy result on a breast tumor (15 days ish till I get them)

The problem I'm having is what I think is depression. I don't know how to cope. I'm failing as a mother, I cannot be as engaged as I normally am. I'm failing as a wife , I am failing as a human being. I'm in a dark place and as much as I'm trying to put on a happy face, the tears won't go away, I can't even fake being happy anymore. Is there something I can ask my doctor to give me , to help me sleep, to help me get up in the morning and be engaged in life. I feel desperate and alone And scared . I need help. I need help for my daughter's sake.


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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited December 2016

    Hi!

    You are NOT failing. You are just stressed out from waiting for results.

    There are lots of options for anti-depressants out there, but if you're looking for more immediate relief, you might try an anti-anxiety med like Ativan or Xanax. SSRIs can take a few weeks to work, as they slowly build up in your body. I starting taking an anti-depressant (Celexa) because my hormonal therapy (Aromasin) was making me moody. But, I also have a stash of Ativan for short-term sleep issues and anxiety. For example, if it's midnight and I start panicking that I will never fall asleep, I might take an Ativan. Also, if I'm stressed out about a scan or mammogram, there's always Ativan. I use about 30 pills every four months, so it's just every now and then.

    ((Hugs)) I'm sorry that you're feeling so desperate and alone.

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  • Ciaramist
    Ciaramist Member Posts: 14
    edited December 2016

    ElaineTherese

    Hi and thank you! I confide in my mom a lot(im 29 years old) but I see the stress my situation is having on her, she would never purposely let me see it, but I know. For that I have completely close off to the world, if I can't lean on her, I can't lean on anyone.

    Thank you so much for your advise on the meds, I am normally all for getting through things naturally but I just can't do it this time, my daughter is very much involved and I know now that its time to ask for help. I never understood depression until now, I was ignorant to it but I see its so so real and so hard and scary.

    I'm going to call my doctor Monday morning and get in to see her. I will bring up your suggestions and points as I am totally clueless. I need something to help now, not in a few weeks. I cannot go that long living in my own head as it is now.

    Seriously... Thank you! I wish you nothing but good things in your life!

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited December 2016

    You are in NO way failing......you said it yourself....you are feeling desperate, alone, and scared. Believe it ....these are very natural feelings, especially at this stage.

    If there is anyway to do so, can you contact your doctor over the weekend? He/She must have a "call service" where you can at least leave a message. Don't minimize how you are feeling.....you need to advocate for yourself and get the help you very understandably need. It takes great strength to recognize you are struggling, and even more courage to ask for help. I'm sure your doctor will understand. Some "chemically induced calmness" can be a very important tool in your arsenal, especially now.

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  • wonderwoman101
    wonderwoman101 Member Posts: 55
    edited December 2016

    Just echoing what the previous posters suggested re Xanax and the like. I am also waiting for a proper diagnosis and the waiting is extremely hard for me. I also have young kids and I feel like often I just want to go hide in my room and not engage with them. For me, I think I figured out it's a defense mechanism in case something "bad" does happen. I'm taking lots of deep breaths and trying to focus on being in the moment with them. I hope you're able to find something that helps you as well.

    Also know we're all here for you!!

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  • Rayven
    Rayven Member Posts: 4
    edited December 2016

    It's totally normal to feel everything you are feeling. Having someone to talk with who isn't reactive is helpful-sometimes our family is not able to do that for us, so it's good to come here, or talk with a friend. Certainly meds can help take the edge off and there are alternatives, natural supplements and foods that help people (St. John's Wort, SAM-E for mood, tart cherry juice, gelatin, melatonin to help with sleep). Things like breathing exercises, physical exercise, petting an animal, and guided mediation all help reduce stress and lower our cortisol levels. I know it's hard to do when you are feeling depressed. Clinical depression is different than situational stress and I think it's good to remember that as well. Distraction as a coping mechanism can be healthy, as long as it doesn't trun into denial. Use what is helpful and nurturing to distract your thoughts when they turn negative. Good luck!

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  • Fotheringay
    Fotheringay Member Posts: 73
    edited December 2016

    Ciaramist,

    There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling, and you are NOT failing in any way. I'm in the same boat, waiting for biopsy results, and countless others have posted on this board about the turmoil one feels waiting for tests.

    My breast surgeon encouraged me to take the anti-anxiety meds I already had when I needed them. I take melatonin at night, ambien when my anxiety is intractable. I can't say what might benefit you (anti-anxiety meds or an anti-depressant), but it's OKAY to take something to help get you through this. It won't make your anxiety go away, but it can help.

    Make the call ASAP to your breast surgeon, nurse navigator, or GP and ask for help. Take care of yourself.

    Carrie

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