Freaking waiting for biopsy results, possible recurrence

I went through diagnosis and treatment two years ago, but didn't post back then; it takes a lot of lurking for me to join any group. I was initially diagnosed on April 1, 2014 (April Fool's day - yea!), with a 3cm DCIS and 5mm IDC, triple negative. Stage 1, but grade 3 with a 98% growth rate, so treatment was pretty quick and aggressive. I mean, yearly mammo - one year nothing, next year visible star-shaped calcification that had me in for a biopsy within the hour. After path report, things moved very fast. Went through surgery within the month, chemo (TC), rads. Rads were cut short a week because the markers in my boob had moved so much (so whole breast, no boosts). I've been getting mammos on left side every six months. In Oct. 2015, calcifications were there, but biopsy was negative. No change in April.

Went for mammo again at the end of Oct. This time there was a dark, shadowed area. Doctor (not one I'd seen previously) at the breast center where I had it done looked it over, said scar tissue. I had an appointment with RO the next day (2 years out, I'm still seeing MO and RO every six months, so someone every 3 months). A couple days previously, I had begun having some pain and swelling in the general area of lumpectomy and previous biopsies. There was also a puckered spot on the scar where I'd had the nipple re-attached. I'd also been feeling generally tired all the time. RO said she'd schedule an ultrasound, and we'd start checking from there. Meanwhile, next day (so before that order was filed), I got a call from the breast center where I'd had the mammo. Two doctors there who did know me and my history wanted me to come in for an ultrasound and biopsy. This doctor said it was a lesion, so translation is he wasn't sure what it was either or wasn't committing.

I had that done on Friday and my appointment for results is tomorrow. Nothing like having to wait longer because of a weekend! I was holding together OK until today, but today I've been useless for doing anything. The stress is wearing me out. Aside from that, I've just barely cobbled together enough freelance work (I lost my adjunct teaching contract while in treatment in 2014; I'd been there 13 years and they just didn't give me a new contract; no other communication*) that my husband and I can get bills paid (he makes too much money for us to qualify for any help, but after my experience, his major car accident while I was in treatment - good times - and his four layoffs during the recession, we have no savings).

*Made me feel like a Spinal Tap drummer -- there have been 37 people in this band over the years.

Now I'm sitting here debating about posting this long whine. I know there are many other people in far worse circumstances. I'm just stressing out. Husband's out tonight with the kids' robotics group he's mentoring. I've gotten nothing accomplished all day and know tomorrow is going to be more of the same, since my appointment isn't until around 4:00. He says he believes I'm going to be OK and we'll have something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I'm just marking time until tomorrow afternoon.

I'm going to post, hope someone reads and at least laughs at the right places (not the wrong ones), take the dogs for a walk and take a hot shower. My highlight today is I can pry off the bandage from the biopsy. Woo hoo!