One boob and no sex

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Momandwife36
Momandwife36 Member Posts: 15
edited November 2016 in Breast Reconstruction

hey all, I had a double mastectomy at the end of Sept this year and immediately had spacers put in. While trying to heal up before my chemo, I got two infections on one boob and my surgeon recommended taking it out and dealing with it after chemo and radiation. So now I have a horrific, twisted, mangled mass of skin that's been smashed into my now concave chest. Just one the one side. So two questions...how the hell am I supposed to cope with this for 18 more months? Also, as I have just started chemo two weeks ago, I've noticed my scalp is a little sore and wondered if this is the precursor to all my hair falling out. I want to jump my husband...but my very volatile emotions and feelings of self consciousness are getting in the way. I have an AWESOME husband who would never judge me...the only thing holding me back is me and my stupid feelings. I would appreciate any advice. Thanks!

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  • anotherNYCGirl
    anotherNYCGirl Member Posts: 1,033
    edited November 2016

    Sounds like you have a wonderful husband who is probably reluctant to pressure you into anything, but I bet he would be more than thrilled to know you are 'still you'.

    I, too, had issues with my reconstruction and the process seemed to take forever, Try wearing a camisole, - i found that those without a built in bra were my favorite, alllll the time. Do what makes you feel comfortable!

    Yes, your scalp may be sensitive from the chemo and impending hair loss.

    Hang in there, - and give that husband of yours some extra TLC for being a great guy!

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  • Scwilly
    Scwilly Member Posts: 489
    edited November 2016

    I know where you are and how you might feel. I was v self concious after my UMX. My husband was not bothered at all, but it took more for me to let go. Would keeping a t-shirt on help? I would say go for it, marriage is a long term, not just one night, and every time will be different.

    As to your hair and feelings on your head, I had tingling in my scalp before my hair fell out. It came out more by me fussing and pulling, which I became obsessed with. We had a weekend away with my sons crosscountry team, for state finals, so I panicked it waould all fall out over the hotel pillow. As it happened it took a further week and perhaps a few days.

    Best wishes

    Sarah

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  • Momandwife36
    Momandwife36 Member Posts: 15
    edited November 2016

    yeah, I think I'll have to wear a top. Just trying to mentally want to do it. Especially before my hair falls out and I start feeling even worse! Thanks for the advice and yeah, he gets extra kudos for being amazing. :)

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  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited November 2016

    And just know that you may not feel as bad as you think. Chemo's not fun, but it's not like you see on TV or in the movies, at least not for me.  I had TC every 3 weeks. The first few days after each chemo I felt pretty good. Then I had flu-like symptoms for about 3-4 days, followed by about a week of fatigue.  Somewhere around day 14 I would perk up and get much of my energy back.  I never threw up.  My biggest SEs were hair loss, taste changes, and fatigue.  I think I missed a total of 5 days work, due to chemo (over 4 months). Not too bad, I think. 

    One other thing--you may find that your head gets cold at night.  I bought some soft sleep beanies from Headcovers.  They made all the difference in the world--my head never got cold, and I was bald from Oct through April.

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