Why am I not scared?

Do you want to be scared?

Carol,

There's no ONE way to respond to receiving a breast cancer diagnosis. Before I was diagnosed, I hadn't really thought much about BC. But, the more I learned about it, the less freaked out I was about it. It's one of the more treatable cancers out there. So, yes, being calm about it is not that unusual. Best wishes to you!

Everyone reacts differently.
Several ladies in my support group said that they were not scared at all when first diagnosed, yet after some time passed, it suddenly hit them like a ton of bricks and the fear set in.

HI Carol.. I think we both sort of reacted the same. I was DX in September and have had the lumpectomy now and meet with oncologist next week. I've had about 3 breakdown days but the rest of the time i've sort of forgotten i have cancer. It's a bit of an up and down... sort of like life. I also decided that i'm not going to let this define who i am or control my life. Just gonna keep going along living my life and dealing with this as things arise.

good luck and much love

Carol, you are not alone, there was another thread recently started by someone who called it being apathetic toward the cancer thing. You have a plan so you move on.

Hi Carol_04:

Re: "Pathology report also states "no angiolymphatic or perineural invasion". Yep...not a CLUE what that really means. I'm assuming that means it's not in my lymph nodes, but how would they know that if they didn't biopsy at least one of those bad boys?"

You are correct. These observations do not provide information about lymph node status.

"Angiolymphatic invasion" (also referred to as "lymphovascular invasion" or "LVI") and the separate phenomenon of "perineural invasion" may be observed in the breast in the vicinity of the tumor.

My understanding is that the pathologist looks at the lymph vessels and the blood vessels in the vicinity of tumor for signs of lymphatic invasion (breaking into a nearby lymph vessel) or vascular invasion (breaking into a nearby blood vessel). If they don't see signs of either of these in the sample, they note "lymphovascular invasion" ("LVI") or "angiolymphatic invasion" is not identified or not observed.

Here is a brief explanation and illustration from this site about LVI:

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/diagnosis/vasc_lymph_inv

This website mentions includes both terms (angiolymphatic / lymphovascular invasion):

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/breast_center/treatments_services/breast_cancer_diagnosis/breast_pathology/breast_cancer_faq.html

"Perineural invasion" refers to invasion of a nearby nerve by tumor cells. Many pathology reports do not mention it at all. Here is an older, very general article with an illustration (Figure 1):

Liebig (2009): Perineural invasion in cancer: A Review of the Literature

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/cncr.24396/abstract

(A complete PDF version is available for free via link at upper left, and breast cancer is mentioned.)

The absence of these phenomena is a favorable pathology finding. However, neither the presence nor absence of these phenomena addresses the question of whether or not there is any axillary lymph node involvement, which is a regional phenomenon. For those with invasive breast cancer and clinically negative lymph nodes, the question of lymph node involvement will be definitively determined by sentinel node biopsy, which includes location and removal of sentinel node(s) and pathologic examination of the nodes themselves for evidence of tumor cells.

For those whose pathology report indicates that angiovascular (lymphovascular) invasion or perineural invasion is present, they should seek accurate, current, case-specific, expert professional advice from their surgeon and medical oncologist regarding the clinical significance (if any).

BarredOwl

I was diagnosed March 2015 and I to was not scared. I wasn't scared until chemo and it was the chemo scared me. Nearly 1 year out from finishing that I am more worried about recurrance but what has scared me most has been the changes brought on by the treatment and what long term damage it has done.

KarenAus

I wasn't scared at first either. I needed to have my fight face on so I could deal with all the information gathering and questions and decisions. I am angry to go through this and also sad. So sometimes I cry and sometimes I lash out when people are not sensitive about all the losses that go along with all this. You don't need to be scared. Let everyone else be scared for you.

I am not scared because I know that I will get through this. I guess I have faith. take care

Dear Carol,

It is also normal not to be scared (this was my case so that constitutes normal to me!). It was so too for a good friend of mine, and although we are very different in character, our approach to life has this in common: we love and enjoy life with a passion; we believe that shit happens; we just get on with the job.

I got diagnosed in 2012 with a very aggressive HER2 positive tumor that had grown to 4 cm between two annual checks. I remember crying once, with relief, when I got the results that showed no distant metastasis, but otherwise I have not had a day of fear or depression, nor did I have a backlash when it was all over. The year in therapy was a challenge: I had everything under the sun, or at least it felt so. But on the day I finished the radiotherapy I went to ski with my colleagues. I lasted one hour on wobbly legs on the nursery slope and fell on my operated/irradiated breast, probably giving myself a little edema. Unwise, but, the joy of it!

I am now 57, feeling fit, and with no bad long term effect.

So don't let anyone scare you, or unwittingly convince you that you should be scared: they mean well, but they are not the protagonists of this story. You are. And being scared will not bring any added benefit. I have written all this, because most things you read in these blogs are understandably by people worried by a problem. Those of us lucky enough not to have problems tend to write a lot less, but there are a lot of us!

Take one day at a time, pamper yourself, and enjoy the love and support your tribe is lavishing on you. I wish you all the best

That makes so much sense. Thank you.

Hi Carol_04

I was also recently diagnosed on 10/31/2016 with IDC Stage 1. Your not the only one I too was also calm when I received my DX. I guess I had already prepared myself for the worst because having a family history of BC I wasn't really surprised. I was scheduled to have a Lumpectomy on 11/17 but thanks to a very very persistent radiologist who was on duty that day insisted that i should have an MRI done because I have such dense breast tissue. I decided to postpone the surgery and had my MRI the next day. Well with that being said i received a call from my doctors office today 11/21 saying that they found another lump in the same breast. All I can say is thank God for her! I realize now that the research i had previously done and discovered that mammograms cannot detected some tumors in women that have very dense breast tissue. Even though i've been going rhrough a whirlwind of emotions I am still calm and at peace. I draw my strength from God and of course family and i know I am a fighter and will be a survivor and I know you will too. I wish you all the best in your journey!