Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Goincrzy8, Hi and Welcome!!

Ann and Bonnets, lovely pic and pleased that you were able to have a nice visit with a follow up visit next week.

What a great picture of you and Bonnets, Anne. I'm glad things seem to be getting settled and steady for your sister. She sounds like she is fairly strong despite all her medical events. C.O.P.D. is not a good thing to have, but she can do it. No smoking ( or very, very hopefully there won't be ) and I'm sure that is what your sister's doctors will help strive for.

Glad you are going to have a second Bonnets injection --- a wonderful way to de-stress for YOU. You are such a good family care-taker and I'm sure it is highly appreciated by all. They are lucky to have you.

Saying hi to everyone else. Lovely Fall day here -- another fairly crisp one though we will warm back up to the 70's in a couple of days. There is sun today which will help make the coolness feel much better. I think Carole said it or maybe you Anne, but I too will be sooo glad when we get up to and past our election this time. Not to start a big dialogue but one of our candidates is such a depressing person and it has been hard to take. I'm not by nature depressed much at all -- the few times I have fell heir, I think it didn't last long enough in hind-sight to be of much concern. I want to keep life for me that way.

I hope you are all going to have a lovely Fall day --- if you need any leaves let me know. I have so many out here in the woods. More than 70 trees surround just my house --- so plenty to go around if your short.

Jackie

Goingcrzy 8,

Good to see you hear. There are sites here to give you information on how to manage from here. I hope you will take a pad and pencil with you and hopefully have a set of questions to ask at your Oncology appt. They should have a lot of information for you --- at my Oncology for instance, I was given a big binder full of information --- lots of it very specific. I hope by the time of your appt. that it is known just what KIND of cancer was found in your biopsy. For instance -- mine was Papillary. Papillary is actually classified as a slow growing, indolent, pretty much lazy tumor and though things turned out differently when I had my lumpectomy --- I was slated in the beginning to have a really EASY time of it.

So, just saying that our feelings of distress, fear, sadness can feel suffocating to an extent and it could ( you really can't know this right at the start ) turn out that we are not in as dire circumstances as it often feels. It is hard to wait as we are forced to wade through these things, but you will learn so much in the next few weeks so be prepared. There are no dumb or un-reasonable questions and don't be shy about saying you are afraid.

You should reach a point ( after lumpectomy ???? if that is chosen ) you will end up at that time with a pathology report. There is a site here at BC. Org that explains about everything you will be reading about or will be gone over with you by someone on your Oncology team. It is nice that you can come here and refresh what everything means -- easy in the turmoil of it all to forget something or just get a bit confused with the new terminology. There is also I believe a list of the Terminology words here as well.

We will be standing by for you. There is a lot of help here, a lot of hope and a huge amt. of caring. We wish to pass along the comforts we all were given when first we showed up. There were wonderful strangers who gave love, support and much care to helping us get through it all -- they made our days much more livable and brighter than it seemed was possible.

Hugs and blessings,

Jackie

Goingcrzy8, I as well am a "first-time"---newly diagnosed with ILC. You have an abundance of support, repuatable

information and advice here at this website. Just take one day at a time, because that's all you can do...for we do

not know what the troubles of tomorrow will be because they haven't happened yet, but that's not to say that you

should not stay vigilant. We have all been where you are now (it feels good to share that). I was only diagnosed

about 3 weeks ago and have my ducks all in a row. It's like Sandy said, the more feedback you have from your

doctors about the grade, hormone receptors, etc, the better you will feel. And the more informed you will be

about making proactive decisions. Lean on your "sorority sisters" because we are all in this fight together. Eat your

favorite desert, cook your favorite dish, watch your favorite movie, read your favorite book....keep your favorite

things a priority....that has also helped me.

Sandy, I absolutely love the analogy...we are the sorority "nobody wants to pledge"..good one. LOL

BIG HUGS TO BOTH OF YOU!

Welcome tatatootsie and in case I haven't said it yet also welcome to goingcrzy 8.

I agree with what the others have said in their posts to you. We are with you.

The more info I got the more in control I felt. I took the advice of someone on here and bought a strong binder (pink). I put plastic sheet protectors and asked each doctor for copies of labs, patholigy reports and anything else I could get.

Most of your clinics have online portals where you can go and log in then print out doctors notes and stuff. I organized all this info in my notebook and took it with me each time to my appointments. My onc doctor loved it and said she would like to see all her patients do that.

But mostly I became very informed before my BMX and with it and reading these posts on BCO I was better prepared for what I experienced along the way. I think that reduces some of the fear. Now months later I forget some of the specifics so I go back and look them up.

I also invested in a wallet calendar to keep up with appointments and stuff.

Good wishes to you both on this hard journey, but know we are traveling it with you.

Tatatootsie welcome to you. We hate the reason why you find us, but always happy to put another chair by the fireside, pour a mug of coffee or spot of tea and just shut the world out for a tiny little bit while we concentrate on each other.

There is something about this diagnosis. I've had other VERY threatening life events, but the other two did not ( ugg) inspire the dire feelings that came over me when I learned my diagnosis this last time. Many of your friends and even a lot of your family ( if there hasn't been much of this dx. around ) won't quite perhaps know how to relate to you. I truly felt all alone on an island for awhile and only got over that when I "found" this blog and got on one for the very first time. So we are glad you are here where there is some safety in numbers but also huge understanding and care for your feelings and a big wish that we can help you get through this time in your life. Wishing you well and hope you will come often, stay late and be able to relax even during any difficult times should they come.

Blessings,

Jackie

My Dear brother posted this on FB today. Resonated with me.

Newbies, take one day at a time...maybe one minute at a time. You are much stronger than you think. Come here for support, anytime.

A few of us Hill Country Warriors and Exercise ladies are meeting in San Antonio today for lunch. Will be nice to meet some new faces!

((HUGS))

Welcome to Tootsie. Hope you don't mind my shortening your name!

Yeah, Cubs!!!!

I finally got out into the yard today and got some pruning done. DH did the pickup of the debris. Now if we can just get a nice shower to settle the dust and give the vegetation a drink of water. Everything looks thirsty.

We're enjoying the cooler weather and wishing it would last. It has been so nice to sleep with windows open and pull up some cover. The a/c is getting a rest.

My middle brother went to the nursing home today and attended the 9 am church service with my mother. He posted a picture of her and she looked pretty in a dressy red blouse. I'll have to post the picture for you to see it.

Hope everyone enjoyed today.

Sorry to hear that Chi Sandy.Do you have a medical background? You seem very informed and knowlegable about what you are going thru.

I told my son and daughter in law today, it wasnt as hard as I thought it would be. I have been the rock in my family and I tried to not cry in front of the grandkids,I don't want them to be scared or see me unhappy. Now to tell my daughter who lives in Oregon. Debating about calling her while her dad is there with her. He went up there for her birthday. I probably will wait till her boyfriend is home and call her tomorrow nite. I pray for an easy fix, which who am I kidding this won't be easy.

Finally getting rain here in Southern Calif long overdue. Time for a glass of wine and I really need to sleep tonite as I have work tomorrow.

Well I made that dreaded call to my daughter. I feel bad cause I put a damper on her birthday weekend, but since I told her brother I felt she needed to know also. My ex (her dad) is there with her, along with her bf. I want her to have the moral support she needs since she is so far from home. THIS SUCKS! and now I am crying, not for me but for my kids.

Goincrzy,

You know, telling those we have a deep connection with, be they family or really good friends put a lot of our vulnerabilities on display. Especially if we feel or know that we have been the ROCK and glue that usually keeps everything together. I simply did not know how to tell people because my underlying fear was so great as well as my overall discomfort that I could not hold down the fort and REMAIN the strong and stoic one I had always been. Letting go and being a bit frail and a bit confused, ( how could this happen ) just never was a normal event in my life.

It didn't happen all at once --- telling loved ones and owning up to here's something I may not be able to fix, was a stumbling unhappy event and time, but later it became freeing for me. Until I got on this blog, I had no idea of the very huge number of people with this diagnosis. Up until then, I seldom knew of or ran into anyone who did have or had at any time this diagnosis. Once it became clear that I was not somehow at fault for this dire event, that lots of wonderful, wonderful people had been "gifted" too --- it reduced some of the negative challenges to my psyche.

I now ( attitudes needing to come over time ) see it as just a part of the challenges life throws at all of us. I did the very best I knew how, stumbled here and there, but do look on it as something that helped me grow. I have become much less complacent with life. I value things that just became almost ho-hum daily instances to me. Life has a perfection very hard to understand --- and one of the things that I've learned to value most is this:

We learn very little, and also very slowly without the items that truly challenge in life. If everything went well we would learn nothing. It is the things that go wrong, that upset the apple cart. That when we have to dig deep and find the very best part of us and get it to come out and shine --- brighter than all the negativism. That too, our rising above, is what helps those who may be watching, family, friends, mere acquaintances, what is doable and what we can do. Your journey can be one that shows light and brings out the best of you -- maybe not today or tomorrow but you have strength ( we never realize it is sitting fallow ) and it will rise to meet you, and you will use it --- and then you will know again how much you are.

We all are more than we know. Here's to you !!!

Blessings,

Jackie

Welcome three labs,

Sorry that you had to look for this club but we are here for you and will offer whatever we can to help you along the journey and path you, like so many of us, were forced into. We have forged great friendships and deep support and I think we are all stronger for it. Come anytime and often. The door is always open.

Blessings,

Jackie

Welcome Threelabs, Goincrzy, and Tata to this thread. I think it's helpful to have women at such different stage of this journey. Those who have been here for so long really help guide those of us just starting out. I've found every single thread I've visited to be helpful, informative, and supportive. Come back often!

Welcome three labs. Just come by anytime. Learn all you can because knowledge is power.

You ladies are awesome. You that have been thru everything, here to help us newbies who starting a new journey that we dont want to take. I too amazed at the women that are here. How sad that they cant find a cure for this. My BFF was the first person I told because I needed to tell someone and she knew me enough to come rushing home and offer me that glass of wine.She told me she would be there Wed for the oncologist. I just want to know what is growing in this dam boob of mine. My son and daughter in law will also be there. This past week of waiting is BS and so scary and frightening. Every ache now I am oh crap has it spread, is it just in by breast. This waiting is the worst.