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Goincrzy8
Goincrzy8 Member Posts: 387
edited September 2017 in Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer

I am an office manager for a doctor. So I am in the medical field and do know lots of processes etc dealing with this new chapter of my life. I am a private person and now I am going to have to share my personal life with co-workers. I have told my boss and I had to tell my coworker who shares my office as she is going to see me breakdown and cry. She is very supportive. I just don't know how to handle the work issue. The BOSS is the doctors wife and they have a rocky marriage with a third party involved. I think the stress from all this BS has effected me and I know the body reacts to that. I can not quit my job, I need the health insurance but doctor keeps asking me if I am ok, and I know she has not told him. Everything is a secret for her. Since I dont know my treatment plan, and I am worried about chemo and being vain about no hair. So my mind wanders to wigs etc, I have way to much time to think, and not sure what to do. Maybe I should wait till I know more and quit worrying. I can't change anything, and I have to do this as I have things I still want to conquer.

Did anyone have these issues? How did you handle your job and co-workers, who are co-workers not friends?

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  • tatatootsie62
    tatatootsie62 Member Posts: 86
    edited October 2016

    Goingcrzy8, I faced the same issue at the onset of my diagnosis on 9/27/16. I kept it quiet for

    a few days until people started to ask questions..."are you OK ?" ..."what's going on"?. And of course

    I knew those who were genuine from those who just wanted to be nosy; however the thing is that

    everyone is going to find out sooner or later and you are right; the more info you have about

    your situation, the better. People will still ask questions but as long as you have the right answers

    from your doctors, radiologist, pathologists, etc, for yourself, you will be better able to decide what it is that

    YOU need and what it is that YOU should do for yourself. You do not have to offer any information to anyone

    that you do not want to....this is your issue and you are in control of how much people around you know

    about it. Don't worry about what might not even happen, but be prepared is the best strategy.

    Lean on your family, good friends and above all God...it is His hand that is higher than ours that is

    always in control. You can do this; keep us posted on your progress and trust me.....we are here

    for you and WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER !!!

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  • remz
    remz Member Posts: 393
    edited October 2016

    Hi, Goingcraz8, Talking with coworkers is difficult for sure. My experience has been to go straight to the top ie your boss and explain the situation. I see you are an office manager so I believe you have the skills to do this. I have been working for the same company for 40 years. I was very aware of the relationships and gossip that people engage in on a daily basis. My first dx in 2002 was a real kick in the butt. I have 5 children and was and still am the major wage earner. Hubby stayed home and did the mom thing back in the early 80's before it was cool.
    You will be pleasantly surprised how supportive people can be. I've learned to deal with those that aren't mostly by ignoring them and realizing they are what they are.You can't change that. If you tell your boss your concerns regarding privacy etc. I would think that would set the tone for further conversations with him. If you have some paid holiday time available,take it. If you have paid sick days take them. Whatever you need to do to get yourself organized beforehand do it.
    Hugs from Canada's Pacific Coast,
    remz
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  • debiann
    debiann Member Posts: 1,200
    edited October 2016

    I'm a teacher. I was 53 when DX. At first I thought I'd say as little as possible to my co-workers, but found them all to be so very supportive, in no time I was blurting out everything, maybe even things that they didn't want to know but I just needed to vent about (you know all the crap you go through during treatment). They were all FANTASTIC! They covered for me if I was tired, helped me try different ways to tie my scarf, had a "Pink Day" rally with all the kids to show support (and lots of love). I'm so happy that I have been open with them. They kept me going. I'm 2.5 years out from DX, but the arimidex makes me tired and I just had my 5th (and final!) surgery. My co-workers are still supportive of me when things get tough. In turn, when life throws them a curve ball, I'm there for them too. People who were just my co-workers are now my friends.

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  • SajeScents
    SajeScents Member Posts: 50
    edited September 2017

    I have just started back to work after 9 months off on medical leave for surgery, chemo and radiation for bilateral breast cancer. So far, so good! Co-workers are supportive, not overly inquisitive and pose no obstacle. We are a busy law firm office and work as a team of document specialists always at the beck and call of our lawyers, their assistants and articling students. I am eligible to retire later in the new year (which I would love to do), but really cannot afford to retire just yet with too many bills to pay (despite being married). So, I bite the bullet, pray my heart out and go in to work each evening. Prayer helps a lot!

    Good luck and best wishes to anyone continuing their job or returning to one! Just take it one day at a time -- trite but true!

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