Newbie - Diagnosis IDC

I hope this post doesn't get long and rambling, but I do have a lot that I need to say.

I'm now a member of "the club", having received my diagnosis of IDC (ER+ PR- HER2-) on 9/27. I have a single mass (2cm) in my right breast. So far, I've had the initial mammogram, sonogram, biopsy of the mass, breast MRI and echocardiography. I also had a PET scan and genetic test (for BRCA1, etc.) but am waiting for those results. Next up, IV Port Insertion and Sentinel Node Biopsy tomorrow. Then, office visit with my main oncologist on Thur. We'll have the result's of the PET scan and Sentinel Node Biopsy by then. At this point should start chemotherapy (AC-T standard) sometime next week. Depending on what happens, chemo will be followed by lumpectomy or mastectomy, then radiation. I am overwhelmed, to say the least. I initially found the lump during a self-exam on 8/14 and it's been a whirlwind of activity since.

Side story, I had a D/C and hydroscopy on 9/07, then a full hysterectomy on 9/21 due to cyst on the left ovary and uterine fibroids. Thankfully, all that was found to be benign. I realize how that plays into treatment for the cancer since I'm ER+, no estrogen HRT to help with the increased intensity of menopause symptoms. I'm 54 and was already in menopause before the surgery. I'm so thankful for the hysterectomy because I was in so much discomfort from the cyst and fibroids I went weeks without being able to sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time. Praise the Lord, that has changed since the hysterectomy and I am able to sleep again!

Back to the cancer. At first I was stunned, to say the least, in disbelief and fearful. So much fear, starting the second I found the lump. It took a while before I was able to give it over to God and settle my spirit down. Now I'm still scared, but not consumed by the fear. I'm scared of the Sentinel Node Biopsy, not only the procedure itself, but what the results will be. Same with the PET scan results. Waiting is so hard. Plus, I sure don't want to stay sick all the time and lose my hair from the chemo, not to mention all the other possible side effects I've been reading about. I'm hoping and praying it won't be to bad, but if it does get rough, for the strength to get through it.

One of the hardest things so far was having to tell my two adult children about the cancer. My oldest is a daughter who has been amazing. She's been with me every step of the way, so supportive and loving I can't express how deeply that touches my heart. My son hasn't done so great with it. I think at first he was just so afraid for me he couldn't face it. My daughter and I have been trying to help him and he's doing much better now. Meanwhile, my daughter and son-in-law were supposed to have "the talk" with my grandchild (Ages 14, 12 and 10) last night. We all agreed to wait until we knew the initial treatment plan before telling them. I should hear from her later this morning about how it went. My heart truly aches for my children and grandchildren. That's probably been the most emotional aspect of this whole thing, I don't want my children to have to watch me go through this. Yes, I know I need to let them (and others) love me, support me and help me through this. And I will, because I understand they need it and so do I. At the same time, I want to shield them from hurt. After all, in my heart, no matter how old they are they are still my babies!

Okay, I'm going to wrap this up for now. Before I go I do want to add I'm grateful for finding this website and community forum. Not only is the site full of great information, I know this is a place where I can be comfortable in "talking" about things, knowing there are others here who have walked this path before me, or are in the midst of it like am. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this, by doing so you are holding my hand and I really need that right now. May God give me the strength to love and encourage others as well.

Susan

From the great state of Texas and Dallas Cowboy fanatic.