Could have been detected earlier!

OnBehalfofMyLove · October 2016

Hi All,

My fiancee got diagnosed w/ Stage 1 IDC earlier this month. We're both feeling a range of emotions, the one I want to discuss right now is anger. I know it's possible that we're just extremely angry because we need something to be angry about, but please tell me if we have a legitimate gripe.

So about 6 or 7 months ago, we found a bump on her right breast. Just like responsible adults she went to see her OBGYN to have it checked out. The OBGYN found another lump. They sent my fiancee in for a biopsy. My fiancee and I were both confused that they didn't check the lump that we initially found, which is near the nipple and very apparent. They said the lump they checked was benign, hey good news!

Cut to last month, where she noticed that the lump they didn't biopsy got significantly larger. She went in to check again, and my fiancee actually had to request for another biopsy. That's where the cancer was found.

WHY DIDN'T THEY BIOPSY THAT LUMP 6 MONTHS AGO? (I swear that's the last time I'll hit all caps)

Maybe they would have detected it, maybe we'd be in treatment by now, maybe we wouldn't have planned our wedding (November 5th, yes a couple of weeks!) for this year, to deal with this. A whole lot of maybes.

Sorry to get long winded here but, do I have a legitimate gripe? Can I complain somewhere? What, if anything, should I do about this particular concern?

Also I just wanted to let you know, this is not what we think about all the time, we're more concerned with reproductive planning, getting through surgery, being apprehensive about requiring Chemo, the cost of all of these things. But I needed somewhere to air our concerns and see if any of you fine people have any advice to dispense.

Thanks!

Moderators · October 2016

OnBehalfofMyLove, we are really sorry for what you two are going through! You have all the right in the world to be frustrated/angry. However, have you had a frank conversation with the doctors as to why they didn't biopsy the lump you initially found? Did they have some reasoning for her at that time?

OnBehalfofMyLove · October 2016

Thanks for the reply.

The OBGYN felt the lump, and didn't think it was anything serious, but if they were going to biopsy in that breast anyway...why not check both?

Also, my fiancee reminds me that when she went in recently and tried to get it looked at, my fiancee was the one that had to insist on getting the biopsy done.

Toscaxoxo · October 2016

Unfortunately, in my experience, most medical decisions are made using an algorithm. I almost died from Legionnaire's disease, a nasty form of pneumonia, because it affects primarily older men with other health problems. I was a young woman and otherwise perfectly, so they did not even consider that diagnosis. I said I felt like I was dying and they actually told me I was a "bored housewife" and there was no need for an xray. It took months for me to find a doctor who figured out what was wrong. If your fiancee is a young woman, they likely thought that she was "too young" to have breast cancer. You have every right to be angry, and things will never change unless we speak up.

kjam · October 2016

So sorry that you are having to deal with this during a time that is supposed to be full of joy and happiness. I'm not a doctor, but my understanding is that the decision to biopsy is based on the results of the mammo (and ultrasound if applicable). A biopsy is typically only done when these tests reveal certain malignant features on the lump or lesion. Perhaps the malignant markers didn't show up at the time during the preliminary tests, so it wasn't a suspected malignancy? I agree with Moderators - sounds like you need to have a conversation with the doctors.

Could have been detected earlier!

Comments

Categories