Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

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  • NoUGo-CA
    NoUGo-CA Member Posts: 46
    edited October 2016

    Thanks for the warm welcome Teka!

    I'm in Western Washington state - we're being warned of a HUGE storm churning it's way toward us with damaging winds that will hit late afternoon -early eve.  Right now it seems crazy to know in a few hours all hell is going to happen because it's so calm and quiet at the moment. The leaves have been so beautiful this past week and what's left will soon be blown away! We had a couple of lesser storms hit yesterday and there are some that have already lost power. I'll keep you posted!

    Vicki

  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited October 2016

    PNW sisters, especially on the “wet side of the mts.,” please stay safe! I almost went to the FAR-West folk conference in Bellevue, WA this weekend but decided one conference per season was enough. Twisters and storms are very rare out there (I ought to know, since I lived in Seattle for 7 yrs. and practiced law in Bellevue), so people aren’t as prepared for them as we are here in the Midwest where they’re much commoner (then again, most Chicagoans wouldn’t know about earthquake safety either).

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited October 2016

    At least here in Seattle, it was mild. Always good when they predict something dangerous and it weakens. It may be worse farther north, but I hope not. Sandy, you're right about only learning what to do in the area where you live. I grew up in tornado alley and when we moved out here and I had to ask people at work what to do in an earthquake.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    image
    Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our
    spirit feeds upon it.We must have it because without it we become
    weak and faint. Without love our self-esteem weakens. Without it
    our courage fails. Without love we can no longer look confidently at the world. We turn inward and begin to feed upon our own personalities, and little by little we destroy ourselves.With it we are creative. With it we march tirelessly.With it, and with it alone,
    we are able to sacrifice for others.


    image
    Chief Dan George
    image

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited October 2016

    Worked outside for about an hour yesterday and had sweat dripping down my nose and my clothes were wet by the time I came inside. Fingers crossed that we get some fall coolness SOON. It is very dry. We need rain.

    Happy Monday to everyone.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves.
    It is not something we see, like a rainbow, or feel,
    like the heat of a fire. Happiness is something we are.
    image
    John B. Sheerin

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    Carole, I'll send some of the beautiful cool breeze ( praying it stays ) coming through my office window. It was warm here yesterday, but we had the same breeze that kept it all so pleasant. Still, when I washed my car I was wringing wet in no time and it never let up the whole slightly over two hours that I worked. I have to say though --- wow, it was worth it. It is the second time I used the new 'formula' given to me by my cousin and I really do love what it does for my car.

    We are still having the 'oil and chip' blues here which is that ( I complain but in ways it is a very good thing ) after the city oils our roads they haul out tons of white pea gravel ( the chip ) and spread over it. For weeks then we put up with soooo much white dust coming up off the road until your car is nearly white too. In some yrs. when the city was being run poorly they did not have enough gravel an oil would get all over your car, in your car, and stick on your shoes. So, I am glad that I'm not checking my car for splotches of oil inside and out, but it is a trial working through the white dust --- which by the way since cars aren't air-tight, seeps into the interior as well. So much cleaning has to take place.

    We are otherwise hoping that great breeze holds and our fairly warmish day will be much easier to take. Some people will turn their a/c on again, but we are under all the trees and very little concrete out here in the woods so hopefully won't have to do that.

    Hoping you all have a fantastic day.

  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited October 2016

    Nice here by the lakefront—sunny, mid-70s today through tomorrow. My green tomatoes are finally beginning to blush, so rather than risk the squirrels noticing that, I will pick them. That'd leave fewer than 10 on the vine, but that'll also make 10 on my sill, one of them ready for my lunch and the rest ripening beautifully. Latest we've ever had tomatoes still on the vine!

    Jackie, I hear you about “oil & chip.” The arterial around the corner from me is in its penultimate stage of repaving after sewer work, and there are those orange “Fresh Oil” signs everywhere. You can smell it—almost as acrid as the asphalt, which is the last step before lane-painting. Ugh. The ice cream parlor, restaurants and Whole Foods don’t like it either, as the stink wafts in whenever the doors open. (At least WF has an ante-room where you get your cart). My recording engineer has his studio on his farm outside downstate Sparta. At the end of the street leading from IL4, a gravel road (runs about a mile) begins. In the 1/4 mi. to his gate, on dry days my car picks up so much dust that I can write my name on it with my finger by the time I park next to the studio. When I go home after a few days' recording, first thing I do is top up the tank with relatively cheap gas—and then I look for a car wash. (Not the kind you have to drive through, because my car's collision-avoidance system thinks the brushes & cloth strips are an obstacle and slams on the brakes—either a hand or completely stationary wash where even the dryers pass over the car).

  • Anneb1149
    Anneb1149 Member Posts: 960
    edited October 2016

    OMG- you are not going to believe where I am and why! I am back in NY. My brother called me last Wed evening to tell me my sister had a stroke. Absolutely out of the blue. That was about 7:15. By 9:00 the report was she had a stroke, was in kidney failure, had a serious heart problem and pneumonia in her left lung.

    By then, I already had my ticket to come up the next night. I loved my brother who passed away five or six weeks ago, but we weren't very close. We'd call each other for our birthdays and holidays, and I would see him a couple of times when I was up visiting, but I always stayed at my sister's house and talked to her frequently on the phone. I think I have mentioned her before- she is borderline agoraphobic, smokes like a chimney and eats like a fly. So it wasn't totally a shock, but it was- she has been like this for years and years.

    I was so excited when I booked my flight, (the only direct flight from Ft Laud to Newburgh), to find that it was leaving at 5:30 pm instead of 8:30. Thurs was a crazy day, because all of my heavier clothes are at my DD in Atlanta. So I had to buy some long sleeved tops and a couple of flannel pajamas. I was a nervous wreck going to the airport because it was after 4:00, and I was afraid that if security was crowded, I'd miss my flight. Nope! When I got to my gate, I found the flight had been delayed until 7:30 due to mechanical problems. Holy Crap- I'm not worried enough about my sister - now I have to worry about the plane breaking mid flight? Then they changed it to 8:30 departure and gave us meal vouchers. That meant we wouldn't get to NY till 11:00, and my 78 year old cousin was picking me up. Long story short, we left about 7:15 and my niece picked me up.

    Again, I will skip details but my sister was in ICU till Sun night. Seems like the kidneys and heart were just reactions to the pneumonia,and UTI. But, instead, she has COPD and emphysema. She has been on oxygen and gets an albuterol treatment every four hours, and needed to have a BiPap to sleep at night. That is a machine that forces air in and out of your lungs without your help, so it gives her a rest and makes sure she doesn't stop breathing during the night. For he first couple of days she was on a ventilator. When they weighed her, she was only 84lbs. We've been talking about the possibility of the hospital sending her to an eating disorder rehab, but she doesn't really have an eating disorder, she just doesn't like eating, And her dentures don't fit right, so she doesn't eat. They started her in clear liquids yesterday, and added pudding and yogurt tonight, but she isn't eating a quarter of what they are giving her. She is still struggling to breath, and can only say 2 or 3words at a time. She also can't stand up and walk without getting extremely dizzy and is basically afraid to move. She had a panic attack or close to it when they said they were moving her to a regular room on another floor. She does not do well in unfamiliar situations. When I first got to the hospital, she was on the ventilator, so her daughter gave her paper and a pen. She wasn't happy that I came (not necessary and too expensive), so she wrote my cousin a note that said I looked good, but I shouldn't have come. After she showed it to Barbara, she showed it to me.

    After that, she didn't make eye contact or written contact with me for days. But I kept showing up, just sitting close. Today, she had to use a bed pan. I was the only one there at the time. The nurses did the work, but she grabbed on to my hand and kept holding it long after the nurses left. She apologized to me- I have no idea why, and I said not to apologize to me, that's why I was there- not to yell at her for not going to the Dr sooner, not to force her to eat, just because I know how frightening this all is, and I wanted to be there so she wasn't so scared. Her two children have been doing a great job of taking turns, but both of them had to go back to work today. Her son worked until 2, and her daughter had to be to work by 12:30. So I was there to take up the slack. Hopefully, she will be moved to a rehab center by the weekend.

    Everything else is up for grabs- we don't even know for sure that she has COPD or emphysema. She lives on the second story and there are no elevators. We're not sure she will be able to live on her own. We had an aunt who went through something similar- she was a full time employee that played games with us, took us to our first movies, etc. She had had rheumatic fever as a child and had an "episode" one night. No one every explained what the episode was, but my aunt went from being an active healthy woman to a completely bedridden invalid overnight. She never resumed her life and had her meals served to her in bed. I am so afraid that this is going to happen with my sister. The stroke (if there was one), was very minor and left no damage at all, but she hasn't moved more than one hand to let us know she needs something. She can't hold herself up, or walk more than two tiny steps at a time, with someone else bearing her weight. Neither her son or daughter have room to move her in with them and she won't come to Fl with me, so the future is not very clear. She is 68 yrs old.

    Thanks for listening.

    Anne

  • bonnets
    bonnets Member Posts: 769
    edited October 2016

    Anne are you still here? What hospital is she in? Anything I can do for you?

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited October 2016

    Anne, you're a good sister. Wishing the best outcome. It's so stressful to have family members with serious health complications.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, in pain, experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain and learn to accept it, not as a curse or punishment but as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose. -Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    Anne, so sorry to hear all you are having to go through but I would imagine it is something of a comfort to be there and see first-hand the things that are taking place. It is hard when you are getting anecdotal descriptions from others because it always leaves you with questions that those who are there can't quite answer for you.

    Great lesson in this --- the things we do ( smoking & drinking or not seeing Dr.'s when we actually should ) can put us into situations for which it is very difficult to fight through. Amazed at the end to hear your sister is 68 which to me seems fairly young. My SIL did in fact though pass away at 54 from yrs. of smoking and daily drinking. I hope much can be done to make your sister comfortable -- like maybe dentures that would fit so she could enjoy food again, and a good place to live ( nursing/rehab'/assisted living ) where she can be a bit more comfortable. Prayers for you and for your sister that she is willing to do what is needed. Doesn't necessarily sound so much like a stroke to me as just a body that couldn't cope so well anymore and needed changes. Keeping you in my thoughts, hopes and prayers.


  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited October 2016

    Speaking of years of bad lifestyle choices—my eldest paternal aunt was a never-recovered alcoholic and chain smoker, and died of esophageal cancer. Only now did it hit me…..she was 64, a year younger than I am now.

    Anne, may your sister turn the corner—eating will be a start. Hate to say this, but “not liking to eat” to the point of malnutrition is an “eating disorder.” There’s a continuum of eating disorders all the way from Prader-Willi Syndrome (in which the brain never receives satiety signals from the stomach and the patient cannot stop eating…anything & everything) to compulsive/addictive eating, to bulimia to anorexia. A lack of appetite due to illness, depression or medications is one thing. But “not liking to eat,” not even to give the body adequate fuel, is not just a quirk and is definitely not normal. If she gets through this physically. your sister needs psychological or even psychiatric help.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.



    - William Shakespeare -

  • Anneb1149
    Anneb1149 Member Posts: 960
    edited October 2016

    Thanks for always being there, your support really helps

    Bonnets- right now we are at St Luke's, Cornwall. But late afternoon, she is being transferred to a rehab n Goshen. I think it is something like Evant. They gave the family a bunch of places- pages and pages, and told them to pick five. Margie's son works with the washingtonville ambulance corps, her daughter's best friend and my cousin's all picked the place in Goshen for convincence and quality of care. Then we were told that the list had narrowed to 3 because the Dr wanted her at a pulmonary rehab. We were thrilled to hear the one in Goshen was on the list, and even happier that they have a bed this afternoon.

    We are all aware of her lifestyle and knew something like this was a possibility. Your brain knows that, but your heart isn't ready. My brother is amazed that she has COPD, not lung cancer. We are not at all sure of what happens after the rehab. Will she be able to walk up and down the stairs to her apartment? Will she be able to live on her own? Will she be able to stay away from cigarettes? We all discuss this at length but have no answers. Both of her children do not have the room for her to live with them, and, honestly, she is not an easy person to live with.

    Sandy, again, you are preaching to the choir. Margie has been a bad eater since birth. In fact, my mom tried to abort me because Margie was only 8 months old when she realized she was pregnant, and still was up all night every night screaming with colic. Thankfully, the Dr knew my mom would never forgive herself and gave her a shot of saline, just to calm her down. I do not remember a weekend dinner where my parents did not wage war with her to get her to eat her food. When she became an adult and got married, her menu decreased even more. For a while, she would eat hotdogs, bagels, baked beans and spaghetti. She got full dentures about 15-20 years ago, and she claims they don't fit, but refuses to do anything about them, because she uses that as the excuse for her even more restricted menu. Plus, while she gaveup drinking years ago, she started drinking non-alcoholic beer from about 2pm on each day.

    We are amazed she has survived this long. She is nothing but bones. We have made sure the Drs are aware of that and that is is a lifelong problem. But she is a fiercely independent woman, who is in total denial. We are hoping the Drs can do what we have been unable to do.

    Gotta go to cafeteria to get some lunch

    Anne

  • bonnets
    bonnets Member Posts: 769
    edited October 2016

    Anne, That's Elant, my Mom was there on their Alzheimers unit until I moved her to Alabama, by my brother. What are you doing Friday? Maybe I cud meet you at Elant and go for lunch in Goshen. Let me know.


  • Seedsally
    Seedsally Member Posts: 260
    edited October 2016

    Anne I learned a long time ago with my sister that sometimes they just won't let you help them. My sister who is 8 years older than I has had a problem all her life. She is addicted to hospitals, surgeries, and prescription medication. She has overdosed many times and trusts no one to take care of her meds. A year ago she fell and a cyst was found near her spine that was causing paralysis. She had back surgery 1 year before and it's thought it has been growing since that time. The fall and paralysis prompted 2 surgeries in one night. We were told she'd never walk again and she was put in an interim hospital to get her lined out on her meds. While there she went into a coma and we were told she would not survive. But she is spunky and came out of the coma. We had to put her in a long term care facility. But hard as it is to believe she came back around and even walks and talks like before the incident. You can barely tell there is any brain injury. But she is staying in the facility for her own good. It's the only way she can be controlled as far as her meds and eating habits. What is so sad is the fact she is extremely intelligent but has some sort of mental disorder. We know she is bipolar but think it's more than that. My point is that sometimes all you can do is be there and love them

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited October 2016

    Come on, Cubs! DH is from the Chicago area and is a long time Cubs fan.

    I spent most of the day today on the phone and on the computer dealing with changing insurance companies.

    I also called a kidney specialist to make an appointment but learned that my PCP has to send the dr. a referral letter with the latest lab work. My kidney function has been on a downward trend and I want to follow up on the situation. The specialist will look at the lab work and decide if I should be given an appointment with her. I hope she accepts me as a patient because her office is at the end of my street and I like her a lot. I took my mother to her for several years. I'm wondering if I inherited my mother's kidney genes.

    My oldest brother is supposed to visit my mother at the nursing home tomorrow so I will not go. It will give me a day to try to get some things done. I'm in a "put your house in order" mood and want to tackle some closets and storage cabinets that contain a lot of "stuff" that I probably should clear out. Once the weather cools off, I also have yard work waiting to be done.

    Hope everyone had a good Tuesday.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    Anne, you seem to really know where you are going with your sister. I was not a great eater as a child. Two things -- first, I had many, many toothaches as a child and the other thing was it took an awful lot of play time away it seemed to me. Even as a young adult I that more thin than anything else. Eventually it all resolved but I went many yrs. actually being able to gorge on things I shouldn't because I had a metabolism that slipped into high gear at the smear thought of and tiniest whiff of food. Those were the days and they are missed.

    Carole, hope you can work your appts. out so as to use the Dr. you like. Just seems easier when you can feel comfortable immediately. Isn't cleaning fun. I plan to try it some time but I'm not getting in a rush at the moment.

    Gray day here with so far several good threats of rain though they did not materialize. We did have an overnight rain and maybe that will happen again tonight.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    On your worst days, be good. And on your best days, be great. And on every other day, get better.
    Carmen Mariano

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited October 2016

    A cool front is due to arrive tonight. Not a minute too soon.

    All my time and effort spent changing insurance companies yesterday was for naught. When I went to the Allstate office today, I ended up staying with Allstate. The woman agent I talked to found me a less expensive home insurance policy (actually two policies, one for wind and hail damage) and found ways to cut the cost on our car insurance, too. We felt like idiots calling the other insurance company and cancelling the policies we were switching over to.

    I'm reading Girl on the Train and finding it very engrossing. I may see the movie after I finish the book If the movie is still in the local theatre. I bought the Kindle version of the book from Amazon. I usually just download e-books from the library at no cost but I didn't want to wait until this book was available.

    Anne, thinking of you and hoping that your sister is improving.

    Go, Cubs!

  • Joan811
    Joan811 Member Posts: 2,672
    edited October 2016

    Hi everyone,
    I have been away from the thread for about 3-4 weeks.  Time flies...it is getting harder and harder to "multi-task" during my work day.  I'm tired on the week nights, and then week ends I've just been crashing at home.

    We were in Colorado for 4 days at the start of October.  Our dear friends who live there are moving from their mountain home at 9,000 feet due to his rare leukemia.  They are on their way to Montana to a more populated area with medical support nearby.  We rented a home near Breckenridge for several days, but the elevation was very high (over 10,000 feet).  I had a headache every day and felt a little sluggish.  But the scenery, blue sky, golden aspens and charming town were just perfect.

    It has been a beautiful fall on Long Island with lots of warm sunny days.  I got a small gas firepit for the patio.  DH and I sit out there as the sun goes down and just enjoy the unusually warm nights.  Sometimes I take the kitty out on a chair and she likes the warmth of the fire.

    Carole, I am glad you are back but it seems like your time up north went fast.  I hope your mother is doing OK - she must be glad to see you.

    Anne, I am so sorry to hear about your sister's health changes.  It sounds like you have been a great help and support.  I am glad she is going to have a good place to rehab.

    Sandra, I keep you in my prayers and am very happy to hear the word "remission".  I pray that Mike will be able to gain back some strength and become better nourished. What sad news about your brother-in-law.  My heart goes out to the families.  Wishing you safe travels and optimistic days.

    I am watching the Cubs take a big lead.  No NY teams are in the playoffs, so I have to root for the Cubs.  They deserve a shot at the World Series. 

    Jackie, thanks again for always being here.  You have made this a welcoming place!

    Joan


  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    Words are but the vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links, they are, chaining together great inaudible feelings and purposes.

    - Theodore Dreiser -

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    As I read your words ( so thrilled to see you here this morning ) and thought how purposed and cogent they were, Joan I realized the quote I had chosen really fit. Always a little stunned at choosing something, getting an inner sensation that yes --- this is the one--and then coming here and feeling that it really does fit.

    Carole, I bet we have all done similar things. I have had ( he is much more forceful on the phone ) a time or two to ask Dh to "fix" some of my situations so like what you described. I guess when we think something out of hand, checking directly right at the start may be VERY worthwhile.

    Lots of leaves on the ground here ( many of the bigger ones seem to fall first ) with out large driveway almost covered. A typical fall occurrence. We had a man come out and look things over and he feels that he will actually be able to convert us over to a interior furnace and a/c unit and that we may be able to get rid of the commercial outdoor unit we have had since we purchased this house. Replacement for the outdoor unit will likely be somewhere over $11,000.00 which we don't really have --- and we are thinking a bit under $4,000 for something installed inside. So, I have my fingers crossed. We do not as we speak ( thank goodness it is not cold yet ) have heat available from our outdoor unit though the a/c which we don't need now does still operate.

    I think it will be a lovely fall day and I am looking forward to just sinking into the enjoyment of it. Hoping you all have a marvelous day as well.

    Jackie

  • Goincrzy8
    Goincrzy8 Member Posts: 387
    edited October 2016

    Wondering If I can join you ladies. I am 62 divorced with 2 grown kids, and 2 love of my life Grandkids.Had a lump went to Dr nothing on mammo, breast US followed by Biopsy. Met with PCP on Tuesday and got the not so good news. No clue where, what etc did get the oncologist # and have appointment on Wed. Have not called Surgeon yet. Will try to tell my son tonite, as of now only my BFF knows what I am going thru.


  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited October 2016

    Goingcrzy8 Yes, Yes, Yes. And a big hearty welcome to you. You are starting a journey no one wants to take, and none of us here did either. There is though safety in numbers and a wealth of hope and information to be found as you start down this path. This is not what anyone ever has in mind to begin their grand parenting yrs. with when we are feeling the happiness of settling into a different life-style and one enjoyed on a totally different level from raising our children.

    We are good at hand-holding and sharing and boosting each other with love, kindness, understanding, hope and care. Come often and stay late.

    Blessings,

    Jackie

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited October 2016

    Goingcrzy, please do join us. We've all been through the stress of diagnosis and then the navigating through surgery and treatment. Good luck to you. It's all "doable" and you will get through it just like we have. Afterwards you'll be more of an expert on the subject of bc than you ever wanted to be. Thank goodness for the detection of a cancer.

    I played golf today at our club for the first time since we returned home. The weather was cool and breezy and the course is in good condition. The women's tees have been moved forward on a number of holes making the course easier than it was before the changes. I didn't make a good score but I got some exercise and enjoyed being outside.

    I'll be SO glad when Nov. 6 has come and gone. I'm sick of the presidential campaign. I was in favor of one candidate from the beginning and have grown to detest the other candidate. One of the women I played golf with today said she wished Congress would pass a law limiting the campaign season.

    Happy Friday to all.

  • Anneb1149
    Anneb1149 Member Posts: 960
    edited October 2016

    Hi everyone,

    Welcome, goingcrzy! We would be honored to have you join us. As you join in on our discussions, you will see we are each very different people, whose cancer diagnosis brought together, but friendship and caring have kept us together. Whatever you face, chances are one of us has been where you are or pretty close. Most of all, we have gone thru all the fears, confusion and days of not understanding how and why we got here.

    Beyond that, we converse about everything and anything, except politics (except to say how tired we all are of the campaigning) and specific religious beliefs or non- belief. We enjoy talking about the weather, food, bird watching, photography, and our children and most importantly our grandchildren.

    We can be very supportive, no matter what the issue. Right now, I am taking more than giving. I lost my older brother to melanoma in Aug. Because he and his family like to keep their issues private, my younger brother and I didn't know how bad he was until they called hospice.

    Then, a week ago last Wed, my sister, with whom I am very close (we are only 17 months apart in age) had a stroke. Within two hours, she had been diagnosed with the stroke, a heart condition, renal failure, and COPD and a real bad pneumonia in the left lung. She went into full respiratory failure on the way to the hospital. When I got here 36 hrs later, she was on a ventilator, and things were not good. But she was conscious, and could answer questions by nodding her head. She has been a life long chain smoker, and a life long poor eater.

    But, she is, I am very thankful to say, doing well. She was released from the hospital to a pulmonary rehab center. She is doing really well and walked from the Physical therapy room,back to her room at the end of a long hallway. using a walker today. She couldn't even stand up when we left the hospital. Along with all her other issues, she is borderline agoraphobic ( doesn't go anywhere without her daughter), so each new treatment or person would send her into panic attacks where she couldn't breathe or move. So between her daughter and son, and my brother and I, we have tried to be with her most of the day. My life has been waking up, eating breakfast, getting dressed, waiting for my brother to show up and off to the hospital. In the evening, I would leave at dinner time- one of her kids would be there by then, either have dinner at my cousin's , where I am staying, or go out to eat with my brother, then home to drop into bed, only to start over the next day. Now she is familiar with the workers and what they expect of her. I can, for the first time, see me being able to return home in another week or so.

    image

    Today, I got a wonderful break when Bonnets and I went out for lunch. We talked like we had been friends forever- and didn't mention cancer except for her to say she lost her daughter to breast cancer when she was in her twenties. She has invited me to come to her house one day next week, to get another break from the hospital. Since I plan to go home in the next 10 days or so, I need to back off of being at the hospital all day, every day. It was funny, when I first arrived for the first few days, my sister refused to acknowledge that I was there. Knowing how her mind works, she thought if I had flown up within 24hrs, she could no longer pretend everything was okay. I just quietly sat there, and eventually she opened up to me, and I have been the one with her most of the day. She has almost broken my hand a few times during her panic attacks. But I am also the one she asks to accompany her to the various therapys and her first shower today. She has come through this relatively easily. The high kidneys and liver #'s were caused by her whole body being septic- with the right meds, that has cleared up. She is still on oxygen 24/7, but they said they will be starting to wean her off that. She is able to pull herself up to standing and is eating-a PB&J sandwich for lunch and grilled cheese for dinner. Today, she got a real reward for all her hard work- her two grandsons came to visit for the first time The excitement from all three of them was incredible. There were no lasting damage from the stroke, so she is left with COPD and the right side of her heart is enlarged due to the COPD.

    ANN

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited October 2016

    Anne, good news about your sister's progress. Very nice picture of you and Bonnets. Thanks for posting it. I know you will be ready to go home when the time comes.

    Wishing everyone a good Saturday.

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