Feeling "normal" again

Yes, it's very normal to not feel normal! You've gone through several surgeries in a row, and it takes a while to recover from the anesthesia and pain meds. The entire process from mammogram to biopsy to diagnosis to surgeries felt to me like I'd been hit by a bus and was just sitting in the road trying to figure out what happened. You spend so much time researching and making decisions and recovering from surgeries, that you can come out on the other side realizing that there hasn't been much time to process it all. Also, there is a hormonal component to losing a breast. I felt very moody after my MX for a good 8 months. Sadness & rage would come out of nowhere and it was very upsetting to feel so out of control. I don't know the details really, but someone explained that I had lost tissue containing estrogen and that was impacting my mood swings. Be patient with yourself. You will get back to the "new normal" and life will feel really sweet. I found that I didn't sweat the small stuff as much. I also decided there was no reason to wait to use the good china or wear my favorite dress! I was worried about getting back to work too, but it ended up helping to feel productive again. My daughter was also a great distraction and helped me focus on why I was doing all this crazy stuff. Your body will continue to heal, and the numbness will go away in some places and you'll just get used to the rest. Once in a while, you will feel some pain zinging through your breast that is likely nerve regeneration. Take it easy when you can. You still need lots of rest, and one day you will notice that you are turning the corner and getting your mojo back. It won't be long!

Crystalp, we are so happy you found us. We welcome you warmly

This is a good place to be in the middle of the night when sleep is elusive. I am really comforted by the heart and wisdom that I find.

it's another brand new morning and so many of your posted words have rang true- thank you! The small tear falling from my eyes at moment is because i kow that there are those of you ahead of me in this journey- and I am so grateful for your encouraging and guiding words . And for those who are not right where I am at- I kindly invite you to come along and share what wisdom or even frustration and fears you do have. Because out of the many hours I searched- this is where I belong!!! I got my first tissue expander fill a couple days ago. My surgeon says healing great and I did make her smile when stated my expander fill is like my "little garden " watch it grow now as we water it!!! Tho no chemo my hair seems to be falling out when I shampoo. But I will come back later, growing tired, so please have awesome day!

So glad to find you all! I had a single mastectomy 3.5 weeks ago on September 7. My story is a bit different. I was diagnosed mid July, so I had almost two full months to process everything that was going on before surgery. I spent many hours grieving over the fact that I was going to lose my breast and that my family had to watch me go through this. I have two children ages 13 and 9, and the scariest part was knowing they had no choice but to watch their mother fight cancer. Once my surgery date was set, it was a countdown in my head that was very difficult. Honestly, the moment I woke up from surgery I was filled with relief and a calm that has surprisingly remained. It was so nice to finally have it done! I had spent so much time being scared and sad that I was ready to be happy again. I'm pretty sure that if I had surgery quickly after diagnosis, I would be spending more time grieving now and having to process everything. The tears that come to me now are typically brought on by the kindness and support of my friends and family. My goal now has been to get back to normal life as quickly as possible. Notmyself, you may find it easier once you return to work and are able to occupy your mind with something other than what you've just gone through. Getting back into a routine will hopefully help in bringing back your feeling of normal. I went back to work this week, and it felt wonderful. I'm still limited in some mobility, but I'm getting better quickly. Give yourself time to be sad, but know that it won't last forever. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

it is wonderful to be able to share. I am so grateful for the connection Reading each persons journey leaves me a little speechless and very proud of how strong we have all had to be for ourselves, our kids ,our spouses. Im blown away

I am still learning how to use this forum so please forgive me if I do it in error. My reconstructive mastectomy was sept 15 . My first full wast two weeks ago and I thought I was doing so well- especially with choosing to elect not to restart any estrogen hormone daily therapy treatment. I have learned more about my body since being diagnosed with DCIS and I guess I am grateful for the healthier benefits in that way- but now this minute? My tears are falling and I'm trying to gag my cries with a wash rag. My dear loving husband is at work and asked me to write on here- until he can get home in 2 hours- since I really have no other outlet. If you don't mind then does anyone else just all of a sudden stop and wonder- did the dr clear all my cancer? Is there cancer in the other places of my body- as the same hot flash symptoms appear? I fortunately am blessed with faith where God says "do not fear" yet I do- where I can not even breath a full deep breath. Does anyone else ever feel this?and how do we improve please

I definitely felt that way! It's very normal to come through treatment with all of these worries. Little by little, you think about cancer less and life more. Don't underestimate the physical, psychological, emotional, and hormonal impacts of a cancer diagnosis! Having a good therapist and survivor group to talk with is really helpful too. Sometimes there is just no substitute for a good cleansing cry. Just let it out, and let yourself know it is okay to feel scared, mad, frustrated, and tired. It just takes some time to process all that you've been through. One of my dear friends who was diagnosed last year could not get her mojo back and found that antidepressants really helped her get back into the swing of things. Exercise helped me a lot, just a little at first, but getting some fresh air and moving around helped me sleep better and feel more myself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Spoil yourself a little with something special. You've been through a lot and you are still dealing with the physical and emotional effects. {{hugs}} to you!