TUG complications/recovery

Hi, Compass, when I read your comment, I was so sorry you had to endure this journey alone. My first choice was to tell some very close friends around me. I was gradually broadening the circle and when I talked to my family and told them I was with cancer, I opened the message to church members (to avoid unhealthy expectations from them and to Facebook -FB members). Many of my friends and family were on FB so I could keep them informed of my progress.

When the first surgeon (who made the biopsy) told me about his plans of cutting a graft from my thigh to put it on on my chest during the Mx surgery, I panicked. My initial reaction was Something is wrong, and I was not talking about cancer (it was about him). What he told me in ten minutes about reconstruction without counting with me (with the irresponsibility he showed after the biopsy) and then send me to a second round of chemo and radio was too much for me. The first thing I did was look for another surgeon, this time I chose an Oncologist surgeon (OS). My peace returned and my journey has been easier since then. I still find obstacles and have to deal with them.

My friends say that I am a troublesome patient because I don't follow physicians' orders. They are right. I follow my instinct, my knowledge, I look for info, I say what I need to the Drs. and, when we all agree them, I follow instructions. I fight back when something does not add right. They have to convince me before I let them put a hand on me. I am not imposing on you my style, not my intention. I had to grow a lot to stop being submissive and be empowered so I am not the best model for anyone. Just look what is best for you. Since cancer we (yes, you and me too) will be on continued check ups, even procedures that may affect our good remaining health or sicken us more. What I recommend you is just inform yourself before anything.

I have to undergo RT and I don't want to for several reasons. I will have to get a RO who listen to me and can answer my worries, doubts, and particulars about procedures during RT. That's why I joined this site but I haven't found one who have answered me. The more I read, the more I get scared. Until that, no step forward on RT. I am doing herbs, species, and antioxidants to lower cancer growth in my body (my CA 15-3 decreased from 33 to 16). I want to live and have quality of life too. I need strength to keep functioning in my ordinary activities.

Don't blame yourself for what happened. Past is past and there is no use in torturing you for a bad decision. Maybe it was not a bad decision on the past. You didn't operate on yourself. The skill is on the PS. Remember that PSs are not neurosurgeons and do not have the mind setting of putting every single nerve, artery or muscle fiber connected. They want aesthetics, they trained for that. Have you gone to a neurosurgeon to consult your case and deal with the aftermath of your reconstruction?

I hope some one else can see your post and give you another perspective on your situation. We both may be enriched with her/his opinion. Hoping to hear from you soon,

Maria