Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)

Caryn, happy birthday a day early! Nice to hear about your this year's class.

Re: others complaints. I am also less sympathetic. I listen, sure, but I often don't offer soothing comments. I react to disasters but not inconveniences.

Lita, you're right, use the good china. Buy those flowers. Live in the present.

Coin collecting is my new hobby. Recently dh asked me about some coins passed down to me from my grandfather, so I got them out. They are probably not worth more than 200 bucks total, but I decided to look up the right way to store them, and then read up a bit more on coins and before you know it, I was buying a coin book andjoining a coin forum and asking questions! With a more hectic life before, I never had time or concentration before to learn about them, the info can be overwhelming. I'm learning, tho, to start small, so I plan to buy some commemorative America The Beautiful sets which began in 2010 and will end next year. Very reasonable. They say collect what appeals to you, and I find America incredibly, heavenly beautiful.

Happy Birthday Caryn. I like the sound of making it to 60. I just celebrated my 56th birthday last Sunday. Sure hope I'm still here in 4 years. How sweet your little first graders are. I love their honesty that you are the best teacher they ever had. How sweet is that? I salute anyone that is a teacher, the patience you must have.

Love the fall pics, we are still running pretty hot here, today it was 90, so we aren't seeing fall colors yet. But next week is supposed to be cooler for us.

My kids came for dinner last night, I got to hold Harper for 6 hours. He is unbelievable sweet.

Wishing everyone a fabulous weekend. Enjoy the moment.

I echo the birthday wishes, Caryn. First graders are so much fun. My former boss used to give me two Friday mornings a month off years ago to let me volunteer in my daughter's classroom. I was able to volunteer for about three years. It was fun helping the kids with their reading and math.

Bjsmiller: What day is your birthday in December? I'll be 58 on December 10. Hoping I'll make it to 60, too. Love the aspens!

DivineMrsM: Stuffed toys have a way of "finding" me, so I guess that's what I collect. I couldn't bring myself to toss out all my daughter's Teletubbies, Bananas in Pajamas and her Build-A-Bear Lou Seal (he's the SF Giants' Mascot). So now their mine, ha ha! Now, I'm collecting stuffed Olaf's, much to my 22 year old daughter's disappointment...she absolutely HATES Frozen.

Shutterbug: I don't get depressed in autumn; winter does it for me. I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) because of the shorter days and long nights. Now that I have cancer, I hope it doesn't get worse.

Enjoy the autumn colors, ladies!

Speaking of stuffed toys, here are my "Three Amigos." DH brought me back the Minion Stuart from his trip to Florida, Lou Seal (in Giants jersey) was confiscated from my college-aged daughter, and I bought Olaf from Build-A-Bear workshop for myself. My family didn't have much money when we were growing up (five kids, one income), so I didn't get a lot of toys - stuffed or otherwise. Parents bought us "practical" gifts for Xmas, like clothes, and now I'm making up for it.

This may sound stupid (and juvenile, but I don't care...); when my back and other mets start hurting, I hold one of these little guys when I'm in the recliner, and I actually feel just a little bit better. Unfortunately, I can't pick up my English Bulldog and put her on my lap because it would be too hard on my back, with its five compression fractures, etc.

Lita

I can't wait until I reach the part where I don't feel like I was given an immediate death sentence. I am only two months out from being diagnosed with the met I feared the most (brain). I also went through the treatment I feared the most for it (whole brain radiation). My current thinking always has me wishing I did not do the whole brain radiation for fear of later stage effects etc. I felt the RO did not cover these effects almost at all but I really cannot blame him since I had already looked it up when I was worried about being DX with a brain met.

My strategy for now is exercise since I am able to move my body. I also try to be grateful for any advantage I do have. Main ones being, no mets elsewhere in my body AND no other tumours than the 1 I had at DX. Surgery removed most of it, which was in the dura, not yet invaded the brain. Once little bit was left since was wrapped around a blood vessel I have to take responsibility for choosing the whole brain radiation(nothing else was offered due to having IBC), RO felt the aggressive approach would be best for an aggressive cancer. I was not disabled so I can keep exercising, building endurance and I will see how I will recover.

Since I cannot predict the future, I have to stop looking up forums where people have had horror stories with whole brain radiation and just follow my own situation. This is hard for me. If I cannot get beyond it, will have to get counseling since I cannot stay in despair 24/7.

I am hoping as time goes on, I can better accept my choice and the fear will move off more in the distance for me.

hi, all,

How do you add photos?

Thanks

Thanks Lita, I think I will look into a support group. There are good ones where I live.

Kitty stretchies!!

Hi to all! I didn't know where else to post. I was diagnosed Stage IV on Wednesday 9/28. I was 3C a year ago. I finished treatment and wanted a scan. They said no. The PA called two weeks later to set a scan because of bad tumor markers. Then I didn't want the scans so much...lol. I have new nodules in my lung they are watching and cancerous paratracheal nodes right at the aorta. Not a good thing. I wrote a long post and lost it. Waving to you all!

Happy 60th Caryn! I am loving the fall colors too up here in Lake Tahoe but like Lita do not want the cold coming too soon either. Indian Summer is my wish...We are getting the smoke too from Santa Cruz! Lita, I agree about taking out the good stuff. Lately I've been wearing ALL of my clothes to work instead of saving the good stuff for "occassions". Some of them would of ended up being like new after 10 years otherwise. I must say it perks me up to feel well groomed and fashionable and not care about "wearing things out".

Barbara, The pictures are gorgeous!

Fraidycat, glad you found us. And sorry you had to...great group of folks here, and a space to say the unsayable, as well as share good news.

Exbrnxgrl, am loving the new fall weather. Our backyard is a nice haven, and I'm slowly clearing out the spent summer plants. It's enclosed so the kitties can be outside safely. They love it too.

Last Sunday was the 4th anniversary of being diagnosed with the stage IV. Almost 10 years since initial barely stage I diagnosis. While I'm on the downward slide, I DID think stage IV meant dead soon. It did not. Until July 2015, I lived a fairly normal life after the initial 9 months of chemo.

Next Sunday, I start a week on the beach in a beautiful house at Stinson Beach, a gift from friends.

Much love to you all...

Just read backwards on this thread and you all seem accepting and some of you are in the same space I'm currently in...grateful! I have been on a few other boards, and only have 4-5 "Favorite Topics". I don't want to be on boards that are overly negative or altruistic. Just one like this, that strike a balance between realism and optimism.

As a three year Stage IV, and previous Stage 1, I have had all kinds of good and bad days. But I feel like people sympathize just fine with me when I'm having a bad day, because "hey, what do you expect you have cancer". But I don't find people in life and sometimes on these boards, who are willing to celebrate with me when I'm doing good, or I'm looking at the silver lining. (Or they think I'm on drugs) LOL.

Even though I'm on continuous palliative chemo indefinitely, I am celebrating victories like learning how to manage the s/e of my tx, and the s/e of my s/e! I find peace in learning what my body is telling me AND ACCEPTING it, because I'm giving up the struggle to survive, and embracing thriving. I am doing better at not telling myself "you should be doing..." And that has been a hard struggle. I even (and this is hard) am accepting I couldn't be the kind of nurse I used to be, and am accepting the loss of my calling. I share all that in the spirit of how this thread was started, a place to celebrate normalcy in the midst of Stage IV. I'm "finding my new normal".

For women newly diagnosed, don't berate the time you spend facing your death. It has a purpose. For me, it drove me get my affairs in order and safe harbor my kids from well meaning but scary relatives & friends. But after awhile I realized I wasn't dying of cancer, I was LIVING WITH cancer. And I decided to live well. I've had some really good memories made over the last 3 + years. I'm glad I moved on to living with cancer. Now, when I go to the multitude of Doctor appointments, I bring my victories with me, not just my "sloshing in the trenches" stories. Oh I have no problem reliving the injustices of this disease, but today I am celebrating, hoping that if I celebrate now, then on my bad days, I remember "Hey, it may get better".

Thank you Sisters-for sharing your ups AND downs, as we are all in similar boats. I tend to think of these Boards as a place to "raft up together". When you are sailing, and you see other boaters, you raft up as a means to seek safety together, share stories, eat, share music, and socialize. It makes the long quiet solo passages easier. God bless.

Shelley

Shelly,

I love the expression."raft up together." It's especially appropriate for us!

Tina