How do you deal with being overwhelmed?

Cubbie2015 · September 2016

I'm feeling overwhelmed these days with everything that's going on around me. One of my in-laws was diagnosed this summer with breast cancer and will start chemotherapy soon. One of my co-workers is waiting to hear back on a biopsy for a different kind of cancer (a guy, and way too young to have anything like this happen). I just went to the dentist today and the hygenist had a bunch of questions for me because one of her friends just had a lumpectomy and is waiting on her pathology. Add in my life long anxiety and tendency to obsess, and I'm a wreck. I was doing pretty well with exercise helping with my anxiety, but tonight I just can't. I walked out of the gym because I couldn't keep from crying. I feel so alone and scared. What do you do when it seems like bad news is all around you?

lyzzysmom · September 2016

Cubbie, I am so sorry that you are going through all this. I often feel so overwhelmed, even by small things, and anxious that I can barely get out of bed let alone make it to the gym. I have a presctiption for lorazepam (ativan) and dont take them every day but they are huge help when I do need something and they do not make me feel weird like most meds, just less anxious and stressed! I would speak with your doctor to see if they can give you something to help. I am so glad that I did.

Cubbie2015 · September 2016

lyzzysmom, I have some Xanax, and have been doing so well I haven't had to take any for a couple of months. I guess it's time to get them out again. Thanks for talking to me, it helps so much just to be able to tell someone how I'm feeling.

farmerlucy · September 2016

cubbie - You are not alone. I am often overwhelmed. Some days I handle it better than others. There is so much hurt in the world. Sometimes I just want to hide. I do sleep a lot more and some days it is hard to face the day. I tell you Effexor helps me a bunch. It just evens me out. Occasionally I take an anti anxiety pill as well. How is the Zoladex working out? Menopause was rough/ is rough and I think it magnifies a lot of things. Sorry you are feeling blue. Gentle hug.

Cubbie2015 · September 2016

Lucy, the Zoladex (actually Lupron in my case, but that's not in the options) hasn't been too bad. I'm inclined to get hot flashes when I'm frustrated, particularly at work. I tell people I'm like the little Anger guy in Inside Out, flames comes out of my head. I'm on Wellbutrin, and it has really helped my depression. You hit the mark, there is so much hurt in this world. Sometimes I just don't think I'm strong enough to handle it all. I'm sorry that you and Iyzzysmom have had this problem, too.

AnotherMichelle · September 2016

Cubbie, I am right there with you. I also had anxiety and obsessions before diagnosis. I'm still in treatment and feel overwhelmed by anxiety (mixed with despair) all the time. I wish I had some suggestions because it sounds like you're already going all the right stuff. But do know that other people feel what you feel and wish you peace, even for a little while.

Hugs,

Kelli

octogirl · September 2016

((((cubbie))))...I think the suggestion to pull out the Xanax is a good one. And consider asking the doc for Ativan as well.

I wish I could do better about following my own advice, but I do think exercise is helpful. Not sure I'd want to be in a gym either. I'd consider putting on sunglasses (so passers-by can't see you cry) and just walking. I did that just the other day. I find that if I force myself to start I do feel better. If it is too cold where you are, you might consider looking around garage sales: treadmills often go cheap.(though granted, you'd need someone to help you get it home and you'd need space for it).

Really, there is too much hurt in the world, and when it gets to be too much I just hide. Be easy on yourself.

xox

Octogirl

Lily55 · September 2016

i have just disconnected from facebook as i see so much hurt and stupidity, I get so upset seeing animals in lorries etc......I do get overwhelmed and now with October starting etc there is no bloody escape, after that it will be Christmas with fakery all over the media, I am bah humbug and proud of it.

I sometimes think I am too sensitive......and fragile

Blinkie · September 2016

Well, one thing helping me with how overwhelmed I feel is reading all your posts.

My overwhelming summer has included cancer treatment (2nd time around), suicide of a family member, another family member in hospital, and now I am having breathing trouble and fear heart surgery. Plus, as you've all mentioned, there's the hurt in the world, the hate in the world, pinktober, the holidays, etc etc. & I'm not really a happy camper to start with, having been treated for anxiety and depression on and off over the years. Oh happy days. Blech. I hope to complain with jokes and weep as much as needed. Tonight: watching British comedy. Tomorrow: some pampering.

Hang in there everybody.

meg2016 · September 2016

Other than exercise, some sunlight, and fresh air (which all help) I literally start organizing things. Its a funny reaction I have, but when I feel like big things are out of my control or I can't find order in the chaos, I will go clean out my dresser, or a closet, or the fridge. For some reason, it helps me think just enough, while keeping me busy. And getting things in order helps to feel like I DO have control over something (even if its tiny) in my life. You should try it... even if it doesn't help with the stress, your closets will looks great. Since my cancer diagnosis, our house is super organized... and I have purged more stuff than ever.

Cubbie2015 · September 2016

I made it back to the gym on Tuesday. I really didn't feel like it, but I was meeting my trainer, so I couldn't put it off. It went fine, although I wasn't as enthusiastic as I have been. I did get some good news today, my coworker is fine, the biopsy was benign!

I'm still feeling pretty depressed, though. I have a bunch of doctor's appointments in October, and they are stressing me out. I'm frustrated, because I don't want to ruin the last few nice weeks of weather with worrying, but I can't seem to stop.

Octo, when it was cold out I wore the hood up on my coat all the time to hide my face when I was on the verge of tears, which was often.

Lily, I not only don't do much on facebook, I disconnected from the news years ago. I get the gist if what is going on from the occasional headline, and that is enough. I'm not looking forward to the pink month from hell, either.

Meg, on a related angle, I've been donating stuff. I really own too much stuff, and have been trying to be honest with myself and give most of it away.

Lulu22 · November 2016

Although I've dealt with BC twice I've had only a couple of "Oh shit, is that lump/ache/funny neurological symptom a recurrence?" moments. Until recently I'd generally been calm and not particularly worried about having to deal with it a third time.

Now my husband has been diagnosed with stage 3 malignant melanoma, a nasty disease with a poor prognosis, and it has me incredibly anxious. I'm not only sad and worried for him and our family's future, but I find I'm now reliving the days after my diagnoses. I'm much more anxious and worried about my upcoming regularly scheduled checkup than I've ever been in the past. I know I need to be the strong one for my husband and I feel a little selfish for thinking about my own cancer. I have 3 kids we haven't been able to tell about his diagnosis yet, so I'm stressed about their reactions and I can't share with my friends even though his surgery to remove diseased lymph nodes is only days away.

I never needed a support group when I was undergoing my own cancer treatments but I'm planning to sign up for a caregiver's group. If that doesn't work I think I'll be looking for a therapist for the first time in my life.

Ugh. Cancer, the gift that keeps on giving.

Lulu22 · December 2016

A slightly funny story-

As I mentioned in the post above, my husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 malignant melanoma (that's not the funny part!) and during the flurry of his testing and doctor's visits I found a new suspicious spot on the edge of my BMX. H had surgery to remove all the lymph nodes on the affected side but upon release from his overnight stay at the hospital was jonesing for food from one of our favorite local cafes, so we went straight there from discharge. As I was waiting at the counter to place our order a friend joined the line and we started to chat. She told me how overwhelmed she'd been lately and how eager she was to get back to normal. What was sending her over the edge?

A golden retriever puppy.

She'd had the puppy for a month and it was finally starting to sleep past 6 am. I laughed inwardly as my family had just been talking about how we wanted to borrow the self-same puppy for a little fuzzy puppy therapy. My friend's worries were whether she needed to get the puppy out before 6 and we weren't sleeping at all dealing with one definite diagnosis, one possible recurrence and three distraught children, as well as all of the work, financial, family and other implications that came with our medical situation.

I could have been annoyed but I honestly found it funny because I knew she didn't know about the diagnosis, and if she had would never have complained about the pup. She's a good friend who has supported us in the past and whom I'm confident will do so in the future. It just goes to show we all have different definitions of "overwhelmed"!

[My lump was aspirated and turned out to be fat necrosis, so I now have one less thing to be overwhelmed by. :-) ]

How do you deal with being overwhelmed?

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